Gen X Parents Still Expect 11 Old-Fashioned Things From Their Almost-Fully Grown Children
VH-studio / Shutterstock Gen X grew up with parents who were less involved in their lives than other generations. They spent most of their childhood at home alone while their parents worked, so when they had children of their own, many Gen Xers approached parenting differently.
After growing up with more hands-off parents, they may have become more active in their children’s lives. Now that their kids are practically fully grown adults, they might have expanded their expectations. They want them to call and check in often, and make frequent visits. While younger generations may value these relationships with their parents, they find that some of these expectations are a bit old-fashioned. They might not be able to check every box for their parents.
Gen X parents still expect 11 old-fashioned things from their almost-fully grown children
1. They expect frequent phone calls
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Most of us want to stay in touch with our parents. There is something special about calling them and letting them know everything that’s going on in your life. Many of Gen Xers' kids are in college and living away from home. During this period, they may not reach out as much as usual. Between studying, maintaining a social life, and working, young people in this age range can find it hard to balance their time.
Despite that, Gen X parents expect their child to keep in touch daily, even if that can be a bit unrealistic with their busy schedules as almost fully grown adults. Their kids might find this concept a bit old-fashioned. Often, nagging them to call more can actually push them away.
2. They want to be consulted on life decisions
I’m in my thirties, and I still consult with my parents before I make any big life decisions. I value their opinion, and I’m not afraid to go to them for help. Some almost-fully grown children don’t have the same openness with their parents. Their Gen X parents might want to hear about every decision they make, but they’d rather come to their own conclusions. It can cause a strain between them.
It’s a bit old-fashioned to expect adult children to come to them before they make every decision. However, parents who are heavily involved in their children’s lives may feel differently. To them, it isn’t outdated; it’s part of having a close relationship. They may have anxiety about their children and their choices. Hearing from them makes them know they are safe.
3. They want them to visit as often as possible
It can be hard to become an empty nester. Once Gen X’s children age out of their homes, adjusting to their absence takes time, and they expect them to visit as often as possible so they can feel as close as they always have. However, for their nearly fully grown children, this expectation is a bit unrealistic. They don’t have unlimited time.
Of course, it’s important to prioritize time with your parents. Some adult children of Gen Xers may not have unlimited free time, depending on where they are in their lives. If they’re in school or prioritizing work, they might not make it home as often as their parents would like.
4. They think they should follow a traditional timeline
When Gen X was growing up, they may have felt pressured by their parents to accomplish things on a certain timeline. Marriage, having children, and landing the perfect job often had to be achieved by certain ages. Unfortunately, this might carry over to their adult children. Even if they know it’s old-fashioned, the ideas might be instilled in them from their own childhood. As a result, they might put pressure on their own almost fully-grown children.
This may leave their children feeling like they need to be perfect. It may not be their parents' intentions, but it is how some may interpret the situation. They often don’t want to find a partner and settle down by a certain age, and this old-fashioned idea might push them away.
5. They expect them to put their family first
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Many Gen Xers grew up as the main caretakers for their siblings. Since their parents were at work more than they were at home, they may take this role seriously and expect their children to do the same. As they got older, they found themselves caring for both their parents and their children.
After being so devoted to their families, it can be hard to watch their children put more effort into things outside of the family. While their children may value quality time with their families, it’s not easy to make them their priority when they are getting their initial taste of adulthood. They might think their parents’ emphasis on putting family first is a bit old-fashioned. Instead, they might enforce stronger boundaries.
6. They want them to keep family traditions going
Some people value family traditions more than others. Whether it’s what they cook for each other or how they celebrate the holidays, they might hold these specific things close to them. Gen Xers were often told to carry the torch. They passed these traditions down to their children and expected them to do the same.
Sometimes, these traditions can be a bit old-fashioned. Now that they are adults, their kids may not be as excited about these traditions as their parents were. As our social norms change, they may become slightly outdated. It’s expected of them to maintain these traditions, but their adult children may not be interested in doing so.
7. They think they should help out when they're asked
When Gen X was growing up, they were expected to do everything they could around the house. Their list of chores was long, and they were often put in charge of caring not only for themselves but also for their other family members. It put a lot of pressure on their shoulders, but they found a way to make it work.
Now that they are parents themselves, they might expect their children to do the same thing. When they ask for help, they often want their children to act on it immediately. They had to grow up fast, so they might expect their children to do the same.
Most children want to help their parents when they can. However, they may find it old-fashioned to drop everything to assist when they ask. Unrealistic expectations can strain the parent-child relationship.
8. They want them to live nearby
When an almost-fully grown child is ready to leave the nest, they might set their sights high. Whether it’s where they go to college or take their first job, it might be far away from home. Many people want to experience something completely new. They may choose to move across the country, and that makes visiting home difficult.
Gen X parents may have a hard time accepting this. It’s not surprising that many parents want their children to stay close to home. They dedicated so many years to raising them, and are often attached to them. Their ideal situation may be to have their child live in their hometown forever, but to their kids, that expectation is outdated.
9. They expect them not to ask for money
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Most Gen X parents want to help their children. They’re often loving and giving parents. However, at a certain point, they want their children to take control of their lives themselves. While they may be willing to help them where they can, at a certain point, they expect them to support themselves. Although they’ve been accused of being helicopter parents, they still want their children to succeed organically.
Their children might find this mindset old-fashioned. Let’s face it, the economy is completely different for younger generations than it was for Gen X. They may struggle financially and need support from their parents at times.
10. They think they should maintain a certain image
Some parents put pressure on their children to maintain a certain image. Often, they endured the same experiences growing up. Their parents had high expectations for how they looked and acted, and they might pass them on to their children. This affects their parenting and can make their children feel like they don’t have room to be themselves. Instead, they have to live up to the image their parents created for them.
Most nearly fully grown children find these expectations old-fashioned. Instead, they want the freedom to accept themselves for who they are.
11. They expect them to make them grandparents
How many times have your parents asked when you were going to have kids? It’s a common question they may ask, not knowing how old-fashioned it sounds. Everyone moves at a different pace. They might not be ready for kids, or in some situations, they don’t want them at all. The constant pressure from parents can feel overwhelming. It's normal to want to be grandparents, but forcing it can be counterproductive.
We never know what someone is going through. Maybe it’s infertility or struggles in their relationship that are making them question if they want to have children with their partner. It’s difficult to navigate this outdated expectation from their parents.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
