Former Stay-At-Home Mom With Grown Kids Says Going Into The Workforce After Divorce Is 'A Lot Of Pressure'
Figuring out our roles in life is a hard task, no matter how far along we are on our journeys.
Jonathon Borba / Unsplash Lisa Mullen is the mom of 4 kids, chronicling her life as an empty-nester, now that her kids are all adults. She shared that one thing in particular feels especially challenging in her later years.
The former stay-at-home mom with grown kids said joining the workforce after her divorce is ‘a lot of pressure.’
Mullen made a TikTok post describing just how hard the transition into the workforce has been for her.
She shared, “It’s hard to go from being a stay-at-home-mom, married, to now, your kids are grown and you’re divorced, and you’re having to transition from the only job that you ever knew, which was a stay-at-home-mom, to having to go into the workforce and be the sole provider for yourself.”
“That’s a lot of pressure,” she said. “And you’ve got people seeing your life from their perspective, making statements like, ‘You’re a grownup, that’s what grown people do.’ It’s hard. It’s defeating when people say things like that because they’re really not acknowledging the fact that you worked hard at your first job.”
Her comments highlight just how important it is to have empathy for others, especially when we’re on the outside looking in. There’s no value in judging someone else’s life when we don’t have access to their full story.
The most generous thing we can do is place ourselves in their situation, knowing we’d want to be given grace and support in hard times.
Photo: LinkedIn Sales Solutions / Unsplash
Making any sort of big life transition is hard, particularly when those changes are unexpected. Finding your footing after a divorce is never easy: You’re trying to regain a sense of emotional balance while the practical aspects of your life have been upended.
Mullen struck a chord with other stay-at-home moms, who agreed on how hard it is to establish a professional life after getting divorced.
As one woman shared, “I’ve been doing it for 7 years now and learning to be alone.” Another woman who stayed home with her 4 kids for 10 years, then got divorced, shared that she “had to survive and raise kids on my own, very challenging.”
Another person spoke to Mullen’s claim that she was “sick and tired of having to explain” why it was so hard, noting, “If it drains you trying to explain it, don’t explain it. Just know it’s how you feel and that is enough.”
Photo: Conscious Design / Unsplash
Mullen shared her vulnerability surrounding the subject of being a mom to grown children, and the particular kind of loneliness that can bring. She made another post revealing the reasons the holidays felt hard for her this year.
“When your kids are grown and you’re single and an empty-nester, and you don’t have grandkids yet, and you’re just kinda in that in-between season, Christmas hits hard,” she shared.
“Christmas day is just not the same,” she explained. "Well, not that it’s not the same, but, like, you don’t know what to feel and you don’t know where to go.”
In acknowledging that she’s unsure of her place, Mullen opened up a valuable conversation on the different roles we inhabit as we grow older.
Unfortunately, the only consistent element in anyone’s life is change itself. We can’t really rely on our lives to stay the same. Mullen is working to find her place in the ever-unfolding chapters of her life, as are we all, and she deserves to be supported while she does so.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers parenting, pop culture, and all things to do with the entertainment industry.