Woman Says Her Husband Won't Let Her Be A Stay-At-Home Mom, Despite Him Making $975K A Year
His argument is basically nonexistent.
Trendsetter Images / Shutterstock Millions of women around the world have to make the difficult choice to either work or stay at home with their children. For some, staying home isn’t even an option due to their financial situation. Others just don’t know what the best choice for their family is.
One mother asked for some advice on her unique situation that doesn’t fit easily into a box.
A woman asked Dave Ramsey for advice on how to convince her husband to let her be a stay-at-home mom.
The woman, Mercedes, placed a call to "The Ramsey Show," finance expert Dave Ramsey’s daily podcast. Unlike others who call in, Mercedes didn’t really need advice on money matters. Instead, she had a question that was loosely related.
“I want to ask how to ask my husband to be able to kind of be a stay-at-home mom,” she said. Unsurprisingly for someone with Ramsey’s background, his first question was, “Does he make enough money for y'all to live on?”
Mercedes’ answer left Ramsey in shock. “He makes about… $975,000,” she responded.
Ramsey was confused as to how someone making nearly one million dollars a year could be concerned about his wife choosing to be a stay-at-home mom. Mercedes provided more information.
“It’s not so much the finances as it is, I think he has a worry that I’ll never go back to work,” she said. She also explained that her husband’s mother worked three jobs when he was growing up, so a household in which the mom is working is what he’s used to.
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Ramsey took the opportunity to share about his own wife, Sharon, who became a stay-at-home mom when their first child was born. She went on to raise three children, be a grandmother to six, and serve in multiple charitable capacities. “I call that an incredible career,” he said of his wife’s accomplishments.
“I do too,” Mercedes replied. “I just don’t know how to get my husband on the same page.
The concept of 'mom guilt' played into Mercedes' problem and the problems of many others.
Ramsey next brought up an important theory for what was happening with Mercedes, as well as what happens to moms across the world: “mom guilt.”
“Moms can’t win,” he said. “Because if they work, they’re guilty, and if they don’t work, they’re guilty.”
The idea of “mom guilt” is nothing new. As Cleveland Clinic noted, “‘Mom guilt’ is a name given to the feelings of guilt and shame some people feel when they don’t live up to their own or others’ expectations in their role as a parent.”
“Mom guilt” can affect anyone and have debilitating effects like anxiety and depression. It can be even worse when, instead of just guilting yourself, there is someone else making you feel that way.
Ultimately, Ramsey had some sage advice for the young mom. “Turn off the television, take his phone away from him, set the baby in his lap and point at the baby, and say, ‘What’s more important than that?’” he instructed.
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This mother is fortunate to be in a financial situation in which she could stay home with her baby if she can get her husband to agree. However, not everyone is so lucky.
That certainly doesn’t mean that those who can’t afford to stay home with their children should feel any kind of “mom guilt,” though.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news, and human interest topics.