The Fear Many Women Have That Turns Men Off

How your fear is chasing away the one thing you want.

Last updated on Jun 03, 2024

Woman sitting alone in her house yacobchuk | Canva

Ending up all alone for the rest of your life — this is probably the biggest fear most single women have today. Ironically, it is the fear itself that ends up keeping them from finding a good partner and having a healthy relationship. Being fearful all the time radiates an extremely stressful and tense persona. Perhaps you are waiting for the relationship to come so you will stop being afraid and start being happy, loving, and confident. However, the relationship can't come first — happiness should. Only then will you be in a place that can attract another person and truly fall in love.


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Here are 3 reasons your fear of being alone actually repels men:

1. Being afraid of ending up alone is making you lonely

Fear of ending up alone is nothing more than a daydream, but dwell on it enough and you may very well fulfill your prophecy. Staying present and in the moment is the only way to combat this. Worrying about what may or may not happen only distances you further from getting what you want. Be extremely conscious when your thoughts drift to the future and reel them back in by paying acute attention to what is happening all around you and — more importantly — within you. Live only in the now and you will see how your anxiety subsides.


Don’t settle for something just out of fear of ending up alone 🫡

♬ original sound - João (Joe-Ow)

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2. Being obsessed with what a guy can give you is scaring men

Men can feel your intentions. Maybe you want love; maybe you want security; maybe you want to boost your self-esteem; or maybe you just want him to pay off your credit card. Whatever it is, using someone is enough to prevent anyone from falling in love with you. Just as you have heard, like attracts like. Love attracts love. You must be loving to have a man love you. Learn to give and contribute — not just to a guy, but to everyone you come in contact with. It doesn't take much time or money, and you can start today. You can give it with a smile, a compliment, or even a hug. You'll be happier and more peaceful, which will translate into confidence. 

@nicolebloomgarden This is how I landed my wifey, hope it helps😌♥️ #lgbt #relationshipadvice #dating #fyp ♬ original sound - Aba Bloomgarden

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3. Thinking about what you  have is making you seem needy

Instead of walking around in a state of wanting, which fuels the fear, think of all the things you have in life. Focus on what you do have, not what you don't. Most of us have much more than we even need, yet we spend so much time on the very few things we don't have yet. Practice gratitude and learn to make it your natural state of mind. Your inner-self will stop craving a relationship and you won't appear so needy to the opposite gender. Spend a few minutes each morning meditating on all you are grateful for your health, your family, your friends, even your job. Appreciate the little things you often overlook or take for granted. 

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Jess McCann is a writer, dating/relationship coach, and the author of the book, You Lost Him at Hello.