If You Can Control These 5 Things, Psychology Says You're More Disciplined Than 99% Of People
Mastering these five areas takes serious self-control.
fauxels from Pexels Discipline is a trait that everyone wants to build, but many often don't have the tools to follow through on improving. Some may not even know what discipline is. But discipline is just training your mind and body to do what you want them to do.
It's keeping the promises you make to yourself. It's a way to stay focused on the long-term goals you have and ignore your short-term desires. In essence, discipline is a powerful force that helps you drive toward greatness.
If you can control these 5 things, psychology says you're more disciplined than 99% of people:
1. Recognizing what you can't change
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Most people think they are 100% in control of their lives. But they aren't, and there's proof:
There was a study conducted in a hospital cafeteria. In one scenario, for a few weeks in the cafeteria, soft drinks were both on the menu and on display in the refrigerator. In a second scenario, for a few weeks, soft drinks were replaced with water bottles in the refrigerator, but they were still on the menu.
The study found that sales of soft drinks dropped significantly in the second scenario! This means the cafeteria manager had the power to influence a lot of people's health choices without them even realizing it.
The point here is that your environment influences your decisions way more than you think. So, if your environment goes against your discipline, it's a constant war that you're going to fight — some battles you may win, but some you're going to lose.
Hence, the only way to truly win is to end the war altogether. Design your environment to support you.
2. Taking your time instead of rushing
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Whatever your destination might be, there are many ways to reach it. But there's a mistake many people make. Since they want immediate results, they go for the shortest route. But they don't like this route. However, they think they can push through — but this is not true for 98% of people. They eventually quit the path and the journey altogether.
A better alternative is to choose a path that may be a bit longer, as it could be the one that you'll enjoy walking on. That will make your journey more sustainable and, paradoxically, get you results faster.
For instance, if you want to lose weight, quit the super-strict no junk food diet. Instead, choose a diet that allows for a little bit of indulgence here and there while still maintaining a caloric restriction. Choose the diet you can stick to for the longest, creating a lifestyle change in the process.
A 2023 study concluded that understanding the factors that influence route choices empowers people to make more balanced and informed decisions. It's about consciously moving beyond just finding the quickest path and embracing a more holistic approach that considers safety, efficiency, and personal well-being to achieve truly optimal outcomes.
3. Communicating to be understood, not heard
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More often than not, people, especially people who are close to you, can turn out to be distractions in your life. And it's not necessarily their fault. Their goals, schedules, and work ethic cannot always align with yours. So, people will act as distractions in your life, and you in theirs.
It's a good idea to try to train people around you to support your discipline, and not try to break it. For instance, people around Tim Denning know that they're not supposed to call him on his writing days, which are two days a week.
Other writers, myself included, sometimes won't use their phone at all on writing days. They may tell their partner or friends, or family the importance of being distraction-free on those days. Even if they do end up calling, a person with powerful discipline will kindly remind them of the boundaries and carry on.
It's not manipulation. It's just you conveying to the people around you the importance of your discipline. And it can be direct as well.
Effective communication skills are foundational to well-being, relationships, and professional success by allowing for deeper connections, mutual understanding, and conflict resolution. Research has indicated that key skills such as active listening, asking open-ended questions, empathy, and understanding non-verbal cues contribute to happiness and stronger social bonds.
4. Knowing when to take a braek
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There are two ways to go easy on yourself:
- You make reasonable promises to yourself, but always keep them. For example, "Going to the gym six days a week is turning out to be tiring. But I said I'll go today, so I'll go today. But from next week, I'll try out a four-day split."
- You don't keep the promises you make to yourself. For instance, "I know I said that I'll go to the gym today, but it's been a tiring day at work. It's okay if I skip."
Come back to reality and realize that it's not okay to have the mindset of the second scenario. In scenario one, you respect your word. But in scenario two, you go back entirely on your word. And it's not something disciplined people do.
Discipline is all about respecting the promises you make to yourself. So, if you want to go easy on yourself, make easier promises — but always keep them. Steer clear of making promises you don't intend to keep.
Research indicates that self-compassionate people tend to experience lower levels of depression and anxiety, are happier, more optimistic, and have greater self-worth. This practice helps by increasing self-awareness of one's needs, fostering empathy toward others, and fostering a more resilient self-concept that is not bound by perfectionism.
5. Staying on task without getting distracted
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Your reptile mind is incredibly cunning. It knows exactly how to break your discipline and turn you into a "wakes-up-in-the-afternoon-and-snacks-on-chips-all-day" person. How?
Let's say you're waking up at 6 a.m. every day for a month. It's not like your brain is suddenly suggesting that you wake up at 11 a.m. You won't entertain that. So, it makes a request that you will say yes to.
At 6 a.m., it will say, "Let's just sleep for five more harmless minutes." And you think, "Well, it's just five minutes. It does seem harmless." And it does this again and again. And you say yes because you think these micro-requests to break your discipline are benign and harmless.
But they are anything but harmless. Because, over time, these keep hammering at your discipline until, one day, it breaks wide open — and you find yourself waking up at 11 a.m.
That's why you need to stay vigilant of these micro-seemingly-harmless requests to break your discipline. They're not harmless. They're a gateway to self-destruction. Don't give into them.
Akshad Singi, M.D. is a writer whose work has been published in Better Humans, Mind Cafe, Medium, and more.
