11 Tiny Choices The Happiest People Make That Shape Their Entire Future
Some of these may not even seem like choices, but handling them correctly opens so many doors.
Marcos Paulo Prado | Unsplash Life is all smooth sailing when everything aligns. Love envelopes you. You have all you need. Then the inevitable storm hits, and you're on an upside-down teeter-totter of chaos.
I've tried to find and fix my broken pieces while striving to recreate my once-happy life. Every effort led to more fractures, fresh losses, and unforeseen crises. My return to a former glory proved futile.
However, amid life's struggles, I unearthed the precious ability to cultivate happiness when facing adversity.
Here are 11 choices that create a life that's happier than most others
1. Choosing happiness over defeat
Motivated to rise from my despair, I happened upon a quote from Mary Oliver. “This is your one and beautiful life. What will you do with it?” Struck by the urgency of the question, I imagined Ms. Oliver spoke directly to me and answered her with a lion’s roar,
“I will be happy. No matter the day, the situation, the adversity, I have been handed life, and I will breathe it, eat it, sleep it, laugh with it, and be happy”.
2. Crafting clear intentions
Balancing work and family while mediating disputes between three kids, I carved out six intentions that would guide me toward the happiness I craved:
- being worthy of blessing,
- cultivating a positive mindset,
- maintaining a healthy body/mind,
- making work meaningful,
- being responsible to my loved ones and
- having fun and being fulfilled.
While my core areas included spirituality, mindset, health, work, relationships, and enjoyment, yours might differ. You may want to focus on other areas, such as parenting, finances, fitness, friendship, personality growth, and personal development. Choose the intentions that apply to your life now, then review them periodically, if needed.
3. Building intentional support systems
I realized intentions or goals are futile without a supportive system. So, each intention was accompanied by the word "Therefore," creating a set of habits to ensure the desired result was happiness.
4. Being open to blessing.
Therefore, I committed to truth, kindness, and intentional love in every interaction, venturing into volunteer activities that transformed my life.
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5. Cultivating a positive mindset.
Therefore, I became vigilant against negativity, nurturing accurate and growth-oriented beliefs. A daily gratitude journal became my habit, focusing on seemingly insignificant things, bravery, and positive outcomes.
6. Maintaining a healthy body/mind.
Therefore, I set achievable standards for sleep, exercise, eating, and balancing life. Habits included a sleep routine, regular exercise, a balanced diet, and establishing boundaries for a healthy mind.
7. Making work meaningful.
Therefore, I enrolled in professional development courses, connected with colleagues, and crafted mantras about loving my work. Balancing work and play with shorter work hours became my cornerstone habit.
8. Being responsible to loved ones.
Therefore, I prioritized connection, communication, stress management, and regular self-evaluation and accountability through a process I called "The check-in."
9. Having fun and being fulfilled.
Therefore, I plan my week to include something new and enjoyable, maybe lunch or coffee dates, a phone or video call, and an variety of activities I once enjoyed or wanted to try.
With full disclosure, I hadn’t given much thought to my enjoyment through the child-rearing and career-building years and was alarmed at how little I thought about “me” and how natural it was to sideline my wants, hobbies, and creative needs. The intention to have fun and be fulfilled helps.
10. Happiness is a side effect of regular maintenance
The pursuit of happiness can be frustrating, leading to pleasure without fulfillment or meaning without enjoyment. I discovered happiness is not just a feeling but a byproduct of doing something else. Complimenting someone, being honest, exterminating negativity, getting a good night's sleep, and the freedom to roam your favorite store — these simple acts bring joy.
Happiness isn't a stroke of luck; it's a positive mantra, laughter, exercise, or a piece of dark chocolate. It's not something you catch and hold; it's a side effect of doing something good for yourself or being kind to others.
Photo via Getty
11. Unmasking happiness is only a smile away
In 1862, a French anatomist, Duchenne de Boulogne, found that the facial muscles involved with a smile (orbicularis oculi and zygomatic major) involuntarily triggered true feelings of joy. In other words, the simplest and most effective key to unlocking happiness is your beautiful smile.
Your smile has already gotten you a job, warmed a friend’s heart, won the “One,” and created more happiness than you know.
Smile intentionally to enjoy the hard things, the alarm, the workout, the overdue tasks. Join me as we smile in the face of adversity.
Reta Faye Walker is a therapist who specializes in healing relationships. She offers one-on-one sessions, couples retreats, and courses to help couples get back on track.