You Can Almost Always Tell Someone Is Hiding Their True Feelings By These 14 Obvious Behaviors
Mozzapics | Pexels It’s an art at this point, being so disciplined when it comes to expressing your feelings. It’s recognizing you feel a certain way and being completely on top of how you react, which is almost always placidly to any given situation.
But then in moments of solitude, when those emotions surface, it can be overwhelming. It's not so much that you guard your feelings; it's that you keep them to yourself until they eventually explode. Here are the obvious behaviors that suggest someone is hiding their true feelings.
From subtle communication changes to emotional contradictions that don't quite add up, these signs reveal what words often try to conceal and why paying attention to them can change how you understand the people around you.
You can almost always tell someone is hiding their true feelings by these 14 obvious behaviors:
1. They seem calm on the surface, but something feels off
Because screaming all those feelings out in public is not only scary but can cause a big scene. So instead, you just hold it all in while your brain runs a constant loop of everything you actually want to say. The pressure builds up like a shaken soda bottle that never gets opened, and you walk around feeling like you might explode at any second over something completely unrelated to what's actually bothering you.
2. They're overly attuned to everyone else's emotions
When your best friend laughs, you grin. When a stranger cries, you feel your tears coming. But since you keep all that emotion inside, you drown in it. You absorb everyone else's feelings like an emotional sponge because when you're not allowed to process your own stuff, all that energy has to go somewhere. It's exhausting being a feelings warehouse for the entire world while your own emotions are locked up in a tiny box you refuse to open.
3. They smile even when they're clearly uncomfortable
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Because you’re secretly imagining screaming in their face, but honestly, they’re not even worth the confrontation. So you plaster on that fake smile and act like everything's fine while internally cataloging every annoying thing they've ever done. The smile becomes a mask you wear so well that people think you're just naturally pleasant, when really you're just too emotionally exhausted to deal with the fallout of being honest about how you actually feel.
Research in Scientific Reports found that smiling actually masks what's really happening in your eyes, which is where your true emotions leak through. Turns out, when you're constantly faking it to be socially acceptable, you end up feeling like a fraud and emotionally drained because you're never actually being, well, you.
4. They deflect with humor when things get serious
Your worst fear is someone using your vulnerability against you, which is why you keep your emotions bottled up. Maybe someone did exactly that in the past, or maybe you watched it happen to someone else and learned the lesson secondhand. Either way, you decided a long time ago that showing your real feelings is basically handing people a loaded weapon and hoping they don't pull the trigger.
5. Their reactions seem way too intense for minor situations
You’ve kept your feelings in for so long that when they come out, they come out in a flood. It's never just a little sadness or mild frustration anymore. Everything hits at maximum volume because you've been compressing months or even years of feelings into a tiny box, and when that lid finally pops off, it's basically an emotional tsunami.
6. They leave the room the moment emotions run high
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Crying is a vulnerability that only a select few have seen. You even hate how it feels: the tears that wet your cheeks, the lump in your throat, your lower chin trembling. You especially hate that critical look people give you before they ask, "Are you crying?"
So the second you feel that telltale burning behind your eyes, you're making excuses and heading for the nearest bathroom or empty room. You'd rather lock yourself away than let anyone witness you falling apart.
Studies show people bolt from emotional situations because they think avoiding feelings is the best way to deal with them. The problem is that dodging vulnerability might protect you in the moment, but it also keeps you from forming real connections with anyone.
7. They get defensive when you ask if they're okay
Because answering them can become complicated, and you risk getting emotional. You don’t wanna seem cold, but you also don’t want to be overbearing either. Plus, once you start explaining, you might not be able to stop, and then you're stuck having a full breakdown in the middle of Target or during your lunch break. It's easier to just say "I'm fine" and move on.
8. They fidget or show physical signs of hidden tension
It’s not that you hide your anxiety, but you hide the symptoms like shaky breaths and sweaty palms. It’s hard to explain to others that you know what you’re afraid of is rather irrational, but you can’t help it.
So you keep it concealed because it’s safer that way. You've gotten really good at looking calm on the outside while your heart is racing and your thoughts are spiraling, and honestly, that split between your internal and external reality is exhausting all on its own.
9. They overanalyze every interaction after it happens
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Because of your intense anxieties, you become cautious of everything around you, analyzing things you’re not sure of to the T. You like to check your thoughts before you voice them.
Every conversation gets replayed in your head a dozen times, and you're constantly running scenarios of what could go wrong before you make even the smallest decision. It's like having a hyperactive security system in your brain that never shuts off.
A big analysis of anxiety studies found that people who suppress emotions tend to obsessively replay conversations in their heads afterward. Instead of moving on, they're stuck analyzing every word they said and every reaction they got, which just makes the anxiety worse instead of better.
10. They vent to friends but never confront the actual person
You don’t say anything until they’re gone and you’re free to rant about them. It’s because you’re not a fan of confrontation, but of course, you’re not going to admit that out loud. Your friends have heard the same complaint about the same person approximately seventeen times because you process everything after the fact instead of in the moment. By the time you've vented enough to actually say something, the moment has passed, and bringing it up feels pointless.
11. They redirect conversations away from themselves
You don’t want to reveal too much information, but it also sucks keeping all you want to say in your mind. Being the listener means you get to control how much of yourself you give away, which feels safer than being vulnerable. The problem is that people start seeing you as the therapist friend who has it all together, when really, you're just as messy as everyone else.
12. They're irritable about minor inconveniences
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You always have those days where everyone from the delivery guy to the barista with the annoying eye roll is making you mad. You find it pointless to explain your irritation because it’ll only make you seem like a Debbie Downer.
The truth is that all those suppressed feelings have to go somewhere, and they're leaking out as irritation at random people who don't deserve it. When you can't express what's actually bothering you, everything else becomes a target.
When you bottle up your real feelings, they tend to come out sideways as irritability and random anger. One study found that people who suppress emotions are way more likely to snap at innocent bystanders who had nothing to do with what's actually bothering them.
13. They maintain a neutral or guarded expression
You don’t want anyone to see all those waves of emotions pass through your face. But it can be a struggle because your RBF can also be an invitation for people to think there’s always something wrong with you.
The blank expression is your armor against follow-up questions you don't want to answer. It's exhausting to constantly be asked if you're okay when you're just trying to exist without explaining yourself.
14. They keep everyone at arm's length emotionally
Because your heart is so tender with emotions, you don’t want it to get into the wrong hands. Those walls went up brick by brick every time someone proved they couldn't handle your feelings with care. Now, letting someone in feels like dismantling your entire security system, so you just keep everyone at a safe distance where they can't hurt you.
Marie Cyprien is a writer, researcher, library assistant, and editor whose work has been featured on Black Enterprise, Guideposts, Puckermob, The Oklahoma Eagle, and more.
