Boundaries Quiz: Discover How Effective Your Boundaries Are And Where You Can Improve
Boundaries run the spectrum, from permable to rigid, and not every type is appropriate.
LOOK | Canva Personal boundaries are both the physical and emotional limits we establish with other people. They allow others to know what's acceptable and what's not OK within your relationships. If you're having issues in your relationships, especially if they seem to repeat time and again, your boundaries may be to blame.
Boundaries run on a spectrum — from unclear, diffuse, or loose to the opposite end, with some boundaries being too rigid. Healthy boundaries fall somewhere in the middle of a spectrum and vary for different relationships. For example, boundaries with a boss should be different from boundaries with family members and children. Boundaries with a new partner will be different than ones with your spouse of 10 years. Not more or less important, just different.
Often, people feel "bad" about setting a limit with others. As a result of this discomfort with boundary setting, you may feel burned out or resentful of others, due to not being able to say "no."
The boundaries quiz: how effective are your boundaries & where can you approve?
This quiz helps you identify how comfortable you are setting boundaries and define areas you need to work on to set healthier boundaries.
Rate the following statements on a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 = Never, 2 = Sometimes, 3 = Always.
1. I often am unable to say "no" if someone requests something of me that I do not wish to offer or share.
2. I often feel taken advantage of by people, feeling used, or let down by others.
3. I feel bad saying "no" to requests, even if I'm overwhelmed or have commitments that prevent me from assisting another person.
4. People have told me that I am "too nice" and need to say "no" or not allow someone to take advantage of me.
5. The thought of disappointing others is unbearable or very difficult for me.
6. I would describe myself as a "people pleaser" and will change or agree with others to keep the peace.
7. Others don’t include me or ask me to participate in group activities, assuming I won’t participate.
8. I struggle with maintaining friendships as I feel others ask too much of me or expect too much emotionally.
9. I feel uncomfortable sharing or allowing others to know more personal details about myself, even in a friendship setting or with someone I have known for a while.
10. People or family members have criticized me for being uncaring or inflexible with meeting their needs of the needs of others.
11. I disclose personal, intimate information to people I barely know, such as a store clerk.
12. Family members or your children have been upset with you for sharing details of their lives with others.
13. I feel lonely, isolated, and oftentimes not included in events.
14. I'm easily influenced by others and take the opinion of someone else over what I think.
15. I often wonder why people don’t reach out to me or ask my opinion.
16. Social events make me feel uncomfortable as I may be asked to share details about myself.
17. I've alienated family members or close people in my life.
18. I've been told I'm inflexible or that it is my way or the highway in relationships.
19. People see me as a pushover.
20. I've been taken advantage of either financially or with things that I have done for another person.
21. I agree with things or statements people say because I know it will make another person happy, but it's not truly how I feel, and I later change my mind and disappoint people.
22. I'm so overscheduled with the activities of others that I often don’t have time for myself.
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What your boundaries quiz score means:
44-66: You struggle with overly rigid boundaries or loose boundaries, and often feel confused by how people react to you. You may feel frustrated in your relationships. It's time to look at your boundaries and develop healthier ones.
22-44: For the most part, you know how to set boundaries within relationships, but there are certain areas you struggle with. It's time to learn how to firm them up.
0-22: Congratulations! You exhibit healthy boundaries in most of your relationships. You know when to say "no" and when to support others. You have a healthy balance with others and a nice "give and take" in your relationships.
Healthy boundaries augment rewarding and satisfying relationships
We often learn about boundary-setting from our parents. If our parents struggled with setting boundaries, we struggle as well.
Finding that happy medium in our lives can help us have more fulfilling relationships.
Setting personal boundaries helps us understand that we all have distinct needs and emotions within our relationships.
You can communicate your perspective while also valuing the perspective of others.
Monica Ramunda, MA, LPC, LCMHC, RPT-S, is a licensed counselor in both Colorado and North Carolina and a Registered Play Therapist supervisor. She offers teletherapy and in-person sessions for clients. Monica helps clients reach their full potential and become the best version of themselves.
