The Art Of Unplugging: 3 Simple Habits Of People Who Clock Out Mentally, Not Just Physically
From setting digital boundaries to creating effective wind-down rituals.
Vitalii Khodzinskyi | Unsplash Achieving work-life balance can lead to happiness, but you need your core values to measure up before you get there. In truth, work-life balance isn't really about balance. The truth is, work-life balance is more complex than the traditional either/or equation. And that means that measuring work-life balance is more complex, too.
So, if it's not about life balance, what is it about? In coaching clients, I've discovered that work-life balance isn't achieved until each of the following three components is met:
- Purpose: Feeling like your life has a purpose and meaning.
- Peace: Feeling calm (instead of anxious or stressed) while being at peace with your decisions and the path you're on.
- Prosperity of time, energy, and spirit: Feeling energized by and passionate about your life because you have the time for your true priorities and know that you're making the best decisions possible for yourself and your family.
Notice anything? Work-life balance is about how you feel. Look again at what people really want when they're looking for a more balanced life: they want to feel a certain way. The reason this is so important is that your feelings shape your reality. Everything you do and every decision you make is based on how you feel about something — they are what ultimately motivate you.
That's why the typical solutions to unplugging don't work: productivity hacks and time management skills are one-size-fits-all "solutions" to simple issues that don't get to the heart of why you feel out of balance.
Here are 3 simple habits of people who clock out mentally, not just physically:
1. They have clarity around what gives them purpose
You must have clarity around what gives you purpose and meaning so that you can create your road map to sustainable success (in your career and life) on your own terms. Without this clarity about your purpose and values, you're essentially trying to set boundaries around things that don't align with what genuinely fulfills you, making it nearly impossible to truly disconnect.
Studies demonstrate that workers who can compartmentalize show increased ability to detach from work during non-work hours. When you have a clear understanding of what gives your life meaning, you can create boundaries that protect those priorities, making it far easier to leave work at work.
2. They stand firm in their boundaries
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Most people think this piece is hard, but it's not as difficult as you'd think. Self-confidence is built through intentional action, not something you're born with. Once you cultivate trust and confidence in yourself and your decisions, then you'll naturally start course-correcting where needed.
Studies show that employees with high work-life balance are better equipped to establish boundaries between work and family spaces. Each time you successfully set a boundary, you're not just protecting your energy and time; you're strengthening your belief in your ability to do it again tomorrow.
3. They focus on what's within their control
Most people try to control the wrong things that aren't controllable. This step is about learning to let go of those things and instead take full-out control over yourself by living in alignment with what gives you purpose, and also through cultivating a mentally resilient mindset.
Mental health and well-being come from accepting unpleasant experiences while staying focused on the present moment and acting according to your values and goals, instead of trying to control or avoid unwanted thoughts and feelings. The key is recognizing that some things are in your control while others aren't, and finding a healthy balance between the two.
Here's the problem: this sounds scary to most people because it involves taking 100 percent responsibility for yourself and your life. But this doesn't have to be hard or scary. It can actually be fun. Think about how you'll feel once you get clarity, gain the self-confidence to move forward, and take control of your life.
The good news is that each of these three steps is grounded in one thing: your core values. Your core values are key to finding your version of "balance" and must be understood if you want to learn how to measure your current work-life balance and fix it for good.
Your list of core values in life gives you meaning and purpose. They're also a big determinant of how you feel. When you align your quality of life around your values, you'll feel satisfied and content.
And when you don't, you'll feel as if something is wrong with you and your life. Not only that, but your core values are your guide to putting together your road map to success on your terms.
They're your internal compass for how you view success, what your priorities are, and how to achieve what you want out of life. Once you understand your core values, you can start measuring your current work-life balance levels to identify how to make it better.
Since work is such a big component of your life, you'll begin by measuring your level of work fulfillment on a stand-alone basis. Then, you'll move into a broad measurement of all major categories of your life (which will include your work life and the rest of your life, too).
Heather Moulder is an executive career and life coach, attorney, speaker, and founder of Course Correction Coaching.
