The Art Of Breaking Free: 4 Simple Things You Do That Keep You Unhappy
Zulfugar Karimov | Unsplash For the record, I believe in the powers of the universe. I believe that what we put forward will come back around, and either tap us on the shoulder or kick us in the tush. But sometimes, when you don't understand how to be more positive or use positive affirmations to your advantage, you end up setting yourself up for failure.
Not only does what you say to yourself — both silently and out loud — affect your relationships, but your personal life and success as well. Once you realize the difference between positive affirmations and negative talk, you can start rebuilding your self-esteem and happiness, and start being successful in all areas of your life.
Here are 4 simple things you do that keep you unhappy:
1. You believe there's a magic answer for all the problems in your life
This thing so many of us do, where we bury our heads somewhere and not discuss real-life issues that need to be improved upon, is absurd. What we think and how we conduct ourselves impact our lives. Is that the universe? Or, is it simply cause and effect?
Research has found that people who only visualized their success actually performed worse than those who actually considered obstacles and developed plans to overcome them. People who believe that they can get what they want just by thinking positively may be less likely to take concrete steps to see their goals through.
Just because we complain about something or express one or two negative thoughts, it doesn't mean all will come to fruition. If that were the case, we'd all be billionaires with perfect lives and relationships. If thoughts had the magic of a genie in a bottle, our enemies would be suffering (unless their wishes were granted first), and our lives would be perfect.
2. You create negative things with negative thinking
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Guilty as charged: I'm guilty of telling my friends and family, "Careful; don't put that out into the universe." My intention isn't to avoid the negative topic; it's only to make them aware that thoughts are things, and to not get sucked into a negative abyss.
According to Dr. Jennice Vilhauer, Director of Emory University's Adult Outpatient Psychotherapy Program, we create much of our reality through our thinking patterns. She explains that our thoughts, when repeated over and over and assigned truth, become beliefs, and those beliefs shape how we behave.
3. You don't deal with life
And therefore, you don't truly live as a result. Discuss away and then reset. We have to deal with real life. We have to air out the demons of the day to resolve our issues. Your universe, your vessel, needs to let go to move forward and toward success.
What you don't deal with tends to grow. Studies have shown that simply talking about our problems and sharing how we feel with someone we trust can be profoundly healing, reducing stress and strengthening our immune system.
4. You don't listen to the most powerful person in your universe: you
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Oh, the mantras: "I'm a love magnet" and "Money comes easily" are great, but without work, drive, and dedication, no money is going to fall from the sky. Without putting yourself out there, love isn't going to come knocking on your front door.
Psychologist Joanne Wood from the University of Waterloo found that repeating positive self-statements like "I'm a lovable person" can actually backfire for those with low self-esteem end up feeling worse, not better. What actually works is self-efficacy, which is the belief that you have control over your outcomes.
The universe is as powerful as we make it. Deal with the real, move up, move on, and stop relying on a power outside of the most powerful being: you. Today's mantra: "That's it, that's all."
Marnie Grundman shares her life and her experiences to inspire hope for all those souls who feel damaged and less than. Today, she is the mother of three, grandmother of two, and the author of Missing: The Story of a Childhood Lost.
