The Art Of Thinking For Yourself: 7 Brilliant Ways To Avoid Letting Other People Sway Your Opinions
fizkes | shutterstock Groupthink, a force that comes from the desire to keep the peace rather than make independent decisions, is powerful and can sway your opinion unnaturally.
Even if that means standing out and being the only one with a certain opinion, advocating for yourself matters. Doing these things can help you think for yourself, even when it feels impossible.
7 ways people who know how to think for themselves avoid letting others sway their opinion:
1. They pause during serious tension and try to delay reactions
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When someone is passionate about something, it’s easy to get caught up in what they’re saying. Group opinions easily can shift our personal judgment. People who know how to think for themselves know that if someone is trying to change your mind and the situation feels tense, it’s best to hold off on reaching a conclusion.
Most people believe their opinion is right and others are wrong. This can lead them to try to manipulate and encourage someone to think the same way. In the moment, it’s natural to want to agree. However, people should hold off and refrain from reacting. This gives everyone a chance to form their own opinions.
2. They try to separate the message from the messenger
I don’t know about you, but when I think someone is cool, I’m easily influenced by their opinion. Clearly, they must know best because they are likable and successful. Instead of sticking to my own thoughts, I find myself buying into what they’re selling, so to speak. I have seriously strong opinions, but even I find myself following along with their thoughts because I think they must be right. However, this keeps us from thinking for ourselves.
A study found that we value the judgments of people we like more than those we dislike. This makes sense, right? When someone preaches their opinion, but you have a different outlook, separating the message from the messenger can help you stay true to your original thoughts. If someone you weren’t drawn to said the same thing, would you still agree? Stepping back and thinking this through allows you to think for yourself, not be influenced by someone you care about.
3. They work hard to stop being people-pleasers
Growing up, many of us were told not to talk about religion or politics, especially with people we care about. Most people have strong opinions about these topics and this can cause heated arguments. Keeping the group happy is a priority we’ve all taken on at some point, but staying silent isn't always the answer, either.
It isn’t easy to weigh in when the conversation might go south. Breaking this habit is hard, but it’s worth it to feel secure in your beliefs and to stand up for what's right when it matters.
4. They spend time alone and think their own thoughts
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People want to influence how others think. Think about how being an influencer is now a career. When someone has something to gain by winning you over, they’ll do whatever it takes to shape the outcome and this can easily sway your opinion.
How many times have you been influenced to buy something online that you had no interest in before? Instead of instantly giving in to that whim, it helps to think things through.
The same is true when thinking for yourself. How influenced are you to change your opinion? Stepping away from the situation and spending time with your thoughts can help you think for yourself instead of following along with others.
5. They practice telling people they need more time to think
We all have confirmation bias. We want to hear information that backs up the way we already feel, but sometimes our opinion isn’t always right. It can be hard to admit, but we often shut down sentiments that don’t mirror ours.
It may seem counterintuitive, but sometimes, thinking for ourselves can change our thoughts. That doesn’t mean we are blindly following the crowd. Instead, we see things differently after thinking them through. In fact, admitting you've changed your mind after reflection (not just as kneejerk reaction) is a sign of independent thought and emotional security.
6. They remind themselves that popular opinion isn’t always right
It’s easy to get sucked into what everyone else thinks. When people feel one way, you might be influenced to think they are right. We want to fit in and move up in status within our social circles, and anthropologists insist this is actually biologically-driven. Popular opinion starts to feel like it has to be right.
But people who avoid letting others sway their opinions know that thinking differently than those around you doesn’t mean you’re wrong. In fact, you might be on the right track. The popular path isn’t always the best choice. By sticking to your gut, you avoid being sucked in by other people’s influence.
7. They know that it's perfectly OK to not have any opinion at all
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We feel pressured to stand firm on certain things, especially when we are in a relatively homogenous social group or culture. When everyone else is highly opinionated, we feel we have to think the same way.
However, when we think for ourselves, we can admit when we don’t have enough information to reach a conclusion. Being confident in your own intellect and reason allows you to be okay taking time to think things through.
By admitting we’re not ready to stand firm on something, we are thinking for ourselves instead of letting others control the narrative. It may surprise others to learn that having no opinion is a sign of strength, but sometimes it's just the honest truth.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
