People With Very Solid Lives Usually Stop Caring About 8 Things Everyone Else Loves
stock-enjoy / Shutterstock Insecurity makes people want to do whatever will make them cool with everyone around them. Seeking approval feeds their self-esteem, and they expect to find joy in fitting in with the crowd. Being accepted by the group is a big deal to them because they finally feel like they’re enough. What they may not understand is that they are putting power into other people’s hands. They stop living for themselves and put opinions at the forefront.
When someone moves past this need for approval, it’s likely because they stopped caring about the kinds of shallow things that preoccupy most people's minds. Worrying about what others think can impact our mental health and confidence. By breaking out of that cycle, people can feel fully free in their lives.
People who love their lives tend to become less concerned about several things everyone else seems to love
1. How many followers they have on social media
Surprising media from pixabay via Canva
Social media has become a way to gauge what people think of us. When we make a post, especially if it’s a picture of ourselves or something we care about, we’ll check back constantly to see how many likes it gets. For some, it’s the only way they feel validated. They start to view their life in metrics. How many likes and followers they have communicates their worth.
This reliance on social media followers for validation doesn’t affect everyone. When someone has confidence in themselves, they may stop checking social media as much. They feel validated on their own, and don’t need hype from someone else. They have noticed the social media environment was toxic for them, and have grown more solid in themselves after they stopped caring. It can be a major form of stress relief to let go of social media pressure.
2. What the latest fashion trend is
Chasing trends is often caused by a desire to fit in. Our brains like trends because they are a short-term way to connect with the masses. They never last, but while they’re fitting in with everyone else, they feel included. A study found that we love trends because novelty feels like an award. Seeing something for the first time because it was shared online can make us run out and buy it, which then boosts our serotonin.
We all know someone who marches to their own fashion beat. I have a friend who has never followed a trend in her life and is always the best dressed in our group. She isn’t concerned about what everyone else is interested in because she feels solid enough in herself and her style to do whatever she wants. It takes confidence in yourself to stop caring if what you’re doing is on trend or not.
3. What people they don’t know think of them
Global Stock from Getty Images Signature via Canva
I’ve experienced moments of social anxiety. Wondering what everyone else around me thinks ate away at my self-esteem. I’d even think the strangers on the street were thinking negative things about me. With some work, I was able to let go of that fear, and it was liberating.
We tend to be hyper-fixated on ourselves. It turns out that people around us don’t care as much as we think they do because they put themselves first. They’re likely not looking at the stains on your shirt because they are worried about how they're being perceived. Realizing no one is looking at you with a microscope can come when we find self-confidence and pride in the lives we live. Who cares if a stranger is judging you when you’re living a life you find joy in?
4. Being the most popular person in the room
Throughout our lives, we have all felt pressure to be the coolest and most popular person on the block. It didn’t matter how close these friendships were; rather, how many we could show off that we had. Popularity creates the illusion we have higher social status, but that becomes less relevant as we get older.
Someone who lives a very happy life stops caring about how many friends they have. They might prefer a smaller group of low-maintenance friends who are there to provide support over the biggest group they could put together.
5. Participating in hustle culture
The idea that we have to be productive from the time we wake up til we go to sleep has led to overworking. Rushing through tasks to complete as many as we can in one day causes serious burnout. We become exhausted by our daily lives, and feel like we have no time to ourselves. This changes when someone builds a solid life for themselves. They realize it’s not cool to be ‘on’ 24-7. Social media can put pressure on us to constantly rise and grind, but it can have a serious impact on our health.
Hustle culture causes us to lose sleep, rarely take time to rest, and neglect our needs to be the most accomplished and successful person we can be. Instead, we push ourselves to the brink, and it shows. Loving your life means loving yourself, and loving yourself means you put self-care above the hustle.
6. Socializing often
We’ve all experienced FOMO, or the fear of missing out, at some point in our lives. It’s not unusual to want to be invited to every social event, especially because social media is such a pivotal part of our lives. When you see what everyone is doing all the time, it can make you feel like you’re not socializing enough or attending the trendiest events.
Over time, some people become more secure in their lives and stop caring about the social game. FOMO can be tied to social anxiety or depression. When we don’t feel included, our minds react negatively. However, when someone has a solid life, they are fulfilled by the social opportunities they have and care less about doing what everyone else is doing.
7. Keeping up with what everyone is doing
simona pilolla via Canva
Some people are caught up in everyone else’s business. Through social media, we see what people are doing at all times. This can cause us to be critical or overly invested in how they live their lives. Focusing too much on other people prevents us from putting time and effort into ourselves. This can turn into obsessive and questionable behavior, which can escalate quickly to stalking if not handled properly.
When someone shifts their focus from everyone else's business to their own wellbeing, they feel happier and more fulfilled with their lives. There is joy to be found in personal growth, not lurking on your ex's social media.
8. The latest drama
People who love drama live chaotic lives. They’re constantly looking for the next big thing to focus on that keeps them from having to reflect on their own lives. This type of person enjoys playing the victim and contriving problems with others. Even as an outsider, you may get caught up in this behavior.
As someone grows more secure, they’ll feel less of a desire to gossip or keep up with the latest drama. It can be easy, and honestly, a little fun, to get caught up in other people's problems. However, with personal growth can come a change that keeps us away from every bit of drama, even if our friends want to discuss it with us.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
