6 Obvious Signs You're Honestly Not OK, You're Just Used To Feeling Bad
Polonio Video | Shutterstock Life can get heavy, but the good times are what keep us moving forward. Sometimes, you can get yourself trapped in difficult emotions and trying circumstances that make you start to just accept feeling emotionally drained as normal. Even if it's not normal.
Maybe you've considered that this is just how life is. But the reason why you can't shake this feeling is that you haven't admitted that something is wrong. The tired, depressed mood you've experienced for weeks, maybe months, isn't just going through the motions. It's something to recognize and address, and as they say, it's okay to not be okay.
The signs that reveal you're not okay, you just are used to feeling bad:
1. You constantly feel tired and sluggish
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One of the biggest culprits for chronic exhaustion is not getting enough sleep. When your mind is racing, it can be hard to be lulled into REM. Even when you do get sleep, it may not be a restorative cycle that replenishes the body. Maybe you're plagued by nightmares or constantly tossing and turning throughout the night.
But sometimes you'll get eight to nine hours of rest and still feel like your body needs more. This is because of mental exhaustion, which can in turn wear out the body. This fatigue is a primary symptom of poor mental health, and can show up when your mind is always spiraling. Emotions that may cause mental exhaustion include grief, sadness, anger, and anxiety.
It may also happen when you're overworking yourself, both mentally and physically. Having a rigorous job with no breaks can cause a constant state of fatigue that'll be hard to break out of.
When your brain is working all of the time, it'll eventually begin to power down. This is because the prefrontal cortex is being aggravated with toxic metabolites when our mind is strained. We may think it's just us being lazy or unmotivated, but it's likely your brain is telling you to rest.
2. Self-isolation is the only way to keep your emotions regulated
You've probably heard the saying, "You can't pour from an empty cup." So it's no wonder most of your days are spent locked away in your room, minimizing social interaction as much as possible. You see it as a form of self-preservation, since everyone's been getting on your nerves, but it's one of the biggest symptoms of depression.
Staying away from your loved ones is called avoidance coping, and it can be a telltale sign that you're going through something but don't want to address it or have anyone notice. Self-isolation is also a sign that your social battery is minimal, and this is a result of not taking good care of yourself before others.
Having time to yourself is important. Independence starts with being confident in what you bring to the table and honestly enjoying what you do when you're alone. But opting to be alone all the time may mean you're pushing others away, whether it's purposeful or not. Having people around opens up a conversation about what's going on with your mental health, which is a great step towards healing. When you self-isolate, it means you're avoiding starting the healing process.
3. You're always overthinking
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When you're overthinking, your mind jumps to the worst-case scenario, and this can get you into the habit of assuming that everything bad happens to you. Preparing for the worst can keep us from seeing the good things happening in our lives, or even stifle the happiness we feel. It's important to brace yourself when bad things do happen, but don't assume that they always will.
Rumination is a sign of many mental health disorders, such as depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, bipolar disorder, and more. It's natural to be fearful. It's the emotion that protects us from potential dangers by engaging our fight-or-flight response. However, overthinking doesn't just stop at a flash of anxiety. It can snowball into difficulty focusing, intrusive thoughts, second-guessing your own intentions, and the need for constant reassurance.
You may be used to your mind being overexerted, but your quality of life will increase as your brain becomes clearer. It'll leave room for goals, give you a sense of purpose, and allow you to have fun without focusing on the "what ifs".
4. The days contain little excitement
Rather than the day seeming like a new opportunity, you've started to think of it as something to get through so that you can ultimately sleep. This has become an endless cycle: waking up, pushing through the day, slipping into bed at night exhausted, and then waking up with dread again.
Nothing inherently bad has happened today, and yet you still feel numb. This numbness may be caused by grief, trauma, or chronic stress, or it could even be that you've fallen into an unfulfilling routine.
One of the best ways to combat that mundane feeling is by practicing gratitude, particularly for the little things. Good days don't always have to look like scoring a new job, going on a vacation, or getting a kitten (although pets certainly do help). Sometimes it looks like your barista making your coffee just the way you like it, someone complimenting your outfit, or seeing a colorful bird on a walk.
Practicing gratitude frequently is proven to reduce depressive symptoms by letting people recognize what they have on their own terms. It can also be great for heart health, contributing to lower blood pressure.
5. You don't feel like yourself
You used to be the bubbly friend, always making everyone laugh. Now, it's hard to crack a smile yourself.
Typically, we experience this shift in mentality when a big life change has happened, and it doesn't necessarily have to be negative. Sometimes, processing even good changes can be difficult to do, because it means accepting a new chapter of unknowns.
This loss of self may even be a direct result of burnout, and with a little rest and relaxation, you'll be okay again. This is just a sign that you need to slow down and take a breath. When you're taking in so many things at once, it's hard to prioritize your self-care. But making sure you're still keeping up with the things that make you feel good mentally and physically will allow you to feel whole again.
If you're feeling lost from yourself: the good news is, you have the opportunity to expand upon your previous self to step into a more confident body; however, that version of you may look different than before, and that's okay.
6. The things you used to love now exhaust you
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You've noticed recently that the books you loved to read and the television show that grabbed your attention for multiple seasons now all spark little interest. Engaging in your hobbies now seems like a chore, and your phone seems to be your closest companion in the act of doomscrolling.
It's likely not the case that you've changed your whole persona. There's a part of you that still craves these things. However, you feel a lack of motivation or interest towards anything, really.
It can be a troublesome cycle to break, because when you're feeling depressed, you don't want to channel your energy into anything. It takes energy just to get out of bed in the morning.
Combatting this lack of interest is best taken in baby steps. The best way to stay accountable is by planning out activities to do socially in advance, so that you make a promise to yourself and others to do something exciting. It also may look like getting out of the house, which may be dampening your mood if you've fallen into the habit of self-isolation.
Rekindling the love you have for your passions takes discipline, but it's not impossible. Forcing yourself to do the things you used to enjoy will remind you of all the benefits, and if you decide it still doesn't excite you, you can look for new interests.
Gabrielle Mattes is a writer working towards a Creative Writing degree. Her focus is lifestyle, wellness, human interest, and relationships.
