You Can Spot A Man Who Lies A Lot By 6 Phrases He Usually Says In Casual Conversation
Andrii Nekrasov | Shutterstock When a man lies a lot, it can feel extra hurtful. You might even question why they don't trust you or why they thought you wouldn't notice their inconsistencies.
Some people get nervous about confronting men, especially, when they know they're lying. They may notice the phrases they use in conversation are full of half-truths or straight-up false information, and while it feels good to call them out, it may just be one part of their manipulation tactics.
When men lie a lot, they usually use these phrases when they're talking to you:
1. 'I'm telling the truth'
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Sometimes, when we call people out for their lies, they can get defensive. They might feel embarrassed and lash out, trying to hide the fact that they aren't being honest.
Dishonest men often cover up their lies with another lie. They might try to convince you they're telling the truth, reaffirming in your mind that you should believe what they're saying.
But this confirmation can be really hurtful. They begin to question how the dishonest man sees them. Maybe they think he doesn't believe they're smart enough to realize he's still lying, and that creates even more conflict. If he can't even be honest about telling a lie, he likely does this a lot. So, it's not a fault in your character for his deception, it's just who he is.
2. 'That's not the important part of the story'
Men who lie a lot, especially when telling stories, may be unable to answer someone asking questions. Some try to move past these questions to avoid getting caught. While there's no single reliable indicator of deception, the fact that he won't answer a simple follow-up speaks for itself.
He might say a question is not an important part of the story so he can move on. He might be hoping that you end up forgetting the thing he was lying about, covering it up by continuing on. But when a man uses this phrase or something similar, he's trying to divert your attention.
3. 'You're so distrusting'
This is a tactic liars use to gaslight others. Gaslighting is when someone tries to manipulate facts and twist the reality of the situation, making the other person question their own reality. It makes others doubt their own memories so they trust the liar instead.
When a man says "you're so distrusting" or "Why are you so suspicious?" it's because he knows you see through his manipulation. It makes you question your judgment when he turns it back on you, and you become critical of yourself.
When a lying man says this, he's trying to turn you into the bad guy. He's shifting blame onto you and trying to make it seem like you're wrong for not trusting him when, in actuality, he's the person who did something wrong.
4. 'You know I'd never do that'
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You may not be close to some men who lie to you, or they aren't in your social circles. So, their lies are typically less hurtful than lies that come from people we love. When you love someone, you want to trust them and believe they're a good person. But dishonest men can use that trust to support their lies.
They might tell their partner a story about something crazy their friend did, following it up with "you know I'd never do that" when questioned about whether or not the story is false. He's using your faith in him to convince you he avoided the situation altogether.
It's not fair for someone to manipulate you like this. Lies create a lot of damage in relationships, and a dishonest man, especially, can create distance between himself and his partner. And when he uses your investment in the relationship against you like this, he's harming not just your connection, but your overall trust.
5. 'You weren't there'
Maybe you weren't present in the situation he's telling you about. You might not know for sure that he's lying, but maybe you feel it in your gut that he's being deceptive. Trust your intuition, because this is another gaslighting technique lying men use.
He's trying to fight your judgment. By saying "you weren't there," he's telling you that you don't actually know what happened, and that you should trust him to relay the truth. If you weren't there, you doubt your authority in questioning him. After all, he was there. Wouldn't he know the truth of what happened?
But first-hand accounts of a story are sometimes wrong, and this is likely the goal of a man who lies quite a lot. He wants you to think that your distance from the situation makes your opinions invalid. And by invalidating you, he validates himself instead.
6. 'Don't you agree?'
When a man dislikes someone and is ranting about them, he may lie or overexaggerate about what makes them so terrible. He's likely trying to make this person seem worse than they are, and will look to you to agree with him.
Men who ask "Don't you agree?" in these conversations are seeking validation for their opinions. Some men do this because they feel bad about saying mean things about someone else. They're hoping you'll have the same opinion, so they don't feel guilty.
Others do this as a form of control. It makes them feel secure that you won't tell someone else what they said, because you could be hurt, too. If you tell others what they think, but you agree with them while they're ranting, he can then make you seem like the bad guy.
Lily Bell is a college student studying English and Publications who covers relationships, mental health, and personal narratives surrounding the human experience.
