You Can Usually Tell Someone's Tired Of Their Life By 10 Specific Red Flags
pixs4u | Shutterstock Many people today struggle with unhappiness in their lives, especially when social comparisons, financial struggles, and unrealistic expectations linger at every turn.
While most of us are dissatisfied with our lives at one point or another, you can usually tell when someone's tired of their life by a range of specific red flags. They're not complaining to bond or seeking self-pity, but truly lingering in a place of sadness that negatively affects every aspect of their lives. They feel stuck and usually don't know how to get out of it.
You can usually tell someone's tired of their life by 10 specific red flags
1. They complain all the time
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Despite the damage chronic complaints do to our brain, rewiring us to a more negative place, many people who are tired of their lives lean on it to vent. While they often don't have the motivation or energy to actually make change or take action after complaining, the release of their pent-up feelings and emotions can be their only lifeline to fleeting comfort or support.
However, prompting people to take action and supporting them in doing so can truly change their lives. The more they complain without doing something about it, the more negativity they introduce into their lives, and the more psychological damage their brain encounters.
2. They blame everyone and everything else
Many people who are emotionally exhausted in life can't help but feel like they have no control. Whether it's a demanding job or a feeling of drowning under the weight of obligations, their only form of refuge is to blame the world, the Universe, or other people for their suffering.
They don't have the capacity for self-awareness or the emotional stability to take accountability because needing to work themselves out of a hole only adds to their plate. From emotional chaos like anxiety and fatigue to physical symptoms of exhaustion, they don't have the energy to do anything but deflect and defend themselves in survival mode.
3. They seem numb
While depressive symptoms can sometimes cause disproportionate reactions in people, where they get overly angry or upset at minor inconveniences, most of the time, especially for women, it's numbness. They feel helpless and completely disconnected from joy in any form, leading to a life led on auto-pilot and a lack of expressed emotions.
Most of the time, it's a subconscious defensive mechanism we resort to under too much pressure or stress. Our bodies and minds need to protect us, and if we aren't taking care of our mental health or acknowledging emotions, we can quickly find ourselves disconnected from everyone and everything.
4. They start neglecting personal care
From self-care to prioritizing their rest and even neglecting personal hygiene, some of the biggest red flags that someone's tired of their life and is suffering starts with their appearance. With bags under their eyes from a lack of sleep and a sense of disarray when they show up in public spaces, it's clear that they don't have the energy or motivation to do the bare minimum to care for themselves.
Sometimes, neglecting ourselves takes on more nuanced forms. We start overspending to cope with complex emotions, avoiding the habits and hobbies that bring us joy, and self-isolating from the communities that offer us support. Both physically and mentally, we stop looking out for ourselves at the expense of our well-being.
5. They don't feel passionate about anything
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According to a study from European Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, losing interest in the things someone used to enjoy is typically a symptom of depression and emotional exhaustion. They stop caring about things and even putting time into seeking out joy, because they're too caught up in fatigue or emotional chaos to do so.
When you're around someone, a lack of passion and enthusiasm is often obvious. They seem numb, dull, and unhappy in every situation, even in spaces and environments where they might have previously transformed into the best version of themselves.
6. They stop reaching out to friends
Self-isolating is often a coping mechanism people subconsciously resort to when they're struggling with depression, dealing with chronic stress, or feeling exhausted in life. They need to manage their worries, and if they're stressed about being a burden or shifting people's perceptions of them, disconnecting from social support entirely can manage that anxiety.
However, never being vulnerable and isolating ourselves to grieve and struggle on our own only amplifies stress. You may be tired of your life and unhappy with where you are, but the people meant to be in your life are there to help and support you. You deserve to find love and support with those people.
7. They're dealing with brain fog
Brain fog, the experience of being forgetful and struggling to focus, often occurs when our brains are busy managing something else. When we're emotionally exhausted, burnt out from stress, or managing intense mental health concerns, brain fog is the brain's protective measure to avoid spending energy on "unimportant" things.
It means we're stuck in survival mode, trying to mediate intense feelings and emotions, even if we don't realize it in the moment. So, if you notice someone is all over the place, struggling to keep a routine, and always forgetting things, it might be a sign they're tired and emotionally exhausted in their life.
8. They overcompensate with fakeness
When someone's "masking" their inner despair, struggle, and sadness, they may resort to fake positivity or exaggerated happiness around other people. Especially if they don't feel comfortable or safe asking for help, they overcompensate to fake being okay around people.
While it might not be obvious to perfect strangers and acquaintances, the people who know them best almost always notice when they're not themselves. Something feels off, even if they don't know exactly what it is, and it affects the energy of the entire group and interaction.
9. They cling to nostalgia
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Even when it brings up old regrets and keeps them from living in the present moment, people who are tired of their lives may resort to nostalgic memories to feel at peace. Especially if they're living with guilt or resentment now, looking back at a time when they were happy can bring peace, even if it means self-isolating and taking on all the consequences of nostalgic depression.
It's often a form of escapism, and even though it's a relatively solitary practice, other people may notice when someone can't let go of the past. They're always sharing old photos on social media and bringing up the "old" version of themselves, all to convince themselves and others that, at one point, their lives felt worth living.
10. They lie and make excuses
Whether it's excuses to avoid taking accountability for their own life circumstances or lying to protect their self-image, many people struggle to be vulnerable and open when they're really unhappy with their lives.
Especially when they have a strong need for validation and approval from others, as a study from Frontiers in Psychology explains, depressed people may lie and present a false version of themselves when they're struggling. They don't want people to see them for what they're going through, which often amplifies the internal turmoil they're faced with every single day.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
