If A Man Cannot Be Trusted, You'll Know It When You Hear Him Say These 10 Phrases On Repeat
sommthink / Shutterstock When we meet someone new, we want to see the best in them. We might trust them immediately because of this.
One study found that women may be more trusting than men in some situations, which can make them fall hard and quickly for a new guy in their lives. Women may get taken advantage of by men because they can be so trusting. It may be difficult for her to spot red flags because she wants to see the best in him. Once she pictures him in her life, she may see his behavior through rose-colored glasses.
However, there are certain phrases he may say that show he’s not the right person to put her trust in. If he tries to convince her that she’s always wrong, or that his bad behavior is fine, it’s time to run in the opposite direction. A man like this can’t be trusted.
If a man cannot be trusted, you'll know it when you hear him say these 10 phrases on repeat
1. ‘That’s just how I am’
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Men might expose who they are immediately when they say a phrase like this. They aren’t even trying to make an excuse for their behavior. Instead, they’re honestly admitting that they will let you down. Saying ‘That’s just who I am’ is an excuse for hurting their partner. If they say this often, you can’t trust him.
You shouldn’t trust a man who doesn’t put effort into the relationship. If he won’t work on himself enough to treat you well, you may never be truly happy with him. He might pretend to change, but if he defaults to making excuses because ‘that’s just who he is,’ he’s not the one for you.
2. ‘I forgot’
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We need to be able to rely on our partners when we ask them to do something for us. We should also know that they’ll always remember important dates, like anniversaries and birthdays. How many times have you heard him throw around the phrase ‘I forgot’ when you bring these things to his attention? Sometimes, it can feel like he doesn’t care at all about the relationship. You can’t trust him if he’s always saying things like this.
Forgetting can damage a relationship. When a partner is constantly being let down, they might become bitter. If a man is constantly ‘forgetting’ the important things, he’s not trustworthy.
3. ‘I never said that’
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When something our partner says hurts our feelings, it’s important to be able to bring it up to them. In a long-term relationship, you need to have productive conversations. If a man claims he never said that thing that deeply hurt you, it’s a sign he is gaslighting you. Instead of taking accountability, he wants to convince you that you’re the one who has the situation all wrong. This can be extremely damaging not only to the relationship but also to your self-esteem and self-worth.
If a man uses this phrase often, you can’t trust him. He is trying to manipulate you to save face. It can be hard not to fall for it, but that’s what they want you to do.
4. ‘You’re overreacting’
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Your emotions are valid. Anyone who tries to convince you otherwise is lying to you. Sure, we can have intense reactions to things, but it’s often because we are hurt. No one can tell you how you should or shouldn’t feel about something, especially if they hurt you. If a man says this phrase often, it’s a sign that he’s not trustworthy. He cares more about getting away with his poor behavior than working through what’s upsetting you.
Emotional invalidation can take a serious toll on your mental health. You may start questioning yourself, convinced that you are the problem, while they get away with hurting you. You shouldn’t trust someone who uses these phrases regularly.
5. ‘I’m not talking about that’
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Have you tried to have a conversation with someone only for them to shut down completely? If an argument is taking place, they might stonewall it. This means they refuse to talk at all, making things even more tense and unproductive. They’ll ignore you, fail to make eye contact, and sometimes say, ‘I’m not talking about that.’ This can show that they are not interested in solving the problem, or don’t think it’s a problem at all.
“Stonewalling involves refusing to communicate with another person and withdrawing from the conversation to create distance. Intentionally shutting down during an argument, also known as the silent treatment, can be hurtful, frustrating, and harmful to the relationship,” says Marni Feuerman, LCSW, LMFT.
6. ‘You’re crazy’
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We’ve all met a guy who started the conversation by saying his exes were crazy, and he was just misunderstood. Some of us may fall for this line. Suddenly, time goes by, and we are on the receiving end of the phrase. Now we’re the crazy ones, and we’re out of line for having certain reactions. If a man says this to you, it’s important not to trust him. He doesn’t care about the truth as much as he cares about defending himself.
Blowing you off by claiming you're crazy when you bring something to his attention is not something any woman should have to deal with. This is another example of gaslighting, and an easy way for them to escape taking blame for anything.
7. ‘Lighten up, it’s a joke’
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Whether or not something is phrased as a joke, it can still hurt your feelings. When someone says something offensive while hiding behind a laugh, they may think they have you fooled. In reality, there was likely a nugget of truth hidden below that so-called joke. Even if there wasn’t, a man should apologize when you tell him that something he said hurt your feelings. If he throws around a phrase telling you to get over it or lighten up, it’s immature.
You shouldn’t trust a man like this. He’s likely playing games and seeing how far he can get without being held accountable for his actions.
8. ‘It’s always your fault’
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Relationships are not one-sided. Even if you try your best to be a good partner, arguments and miscommunications happen. It’s important to have a genuine, open conversation about these things. If you can figure things out together, you have a strong relationship. If he tries to convince you that he’s perfect and you’re the only one who makes mistakes, he shouldn’t be trusted.
‘It’s always your fault’ is a manipulative phrase some men will use to try to make you feel like you’re the problem. Even if he’s the one who did something to hurt you, he’ll try to explain it all away by saying you’re at fault. It’s immature and manipulative. A man like this will always blame everyone but himself.
9. ‘You owe me’
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Long-term relationships are a give-and-take. Sometimes, one person will carry more weight in the partnership. It could be that the other person is going through something difficult, or is tired and overworked. Whatever it may be, we need to count on the person we’re with to pick up the pieces when things are falling short. If a man throws this in your face down the line and tells you that you owe him, it’s a red flag.
In relationships, we might give more than we take. This isn’t always easy to manage, but it’s something we do for the person we love. If a man demands you make it up to him, you shouldn’t trust you. He might be taking advantage of your love.
10. ‘I was going to tell you’
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If you call out a man for doing something and he says he was ‘going to tell you,’ you can’t trust him. The truth is, he is only saying that because he got caught. Everyone makes mistakes, but if someone isn’t willing to be honest about them, it’s a red flag. A genuinely loving partner wouldn’t lie to begin with, let alone pretend he was going to tell you when he gets called out. This behavior shouldn’t be tolerated.
A guy like this might try to convince you to give him another chance. However, if he did something behind your back once, what would stop him from doing it again? Would he have told you if you had never found out? He cannot be trusted. Secrets and lies destroy relationships, and it might continue to get worse if you keep him around.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
