11 Phrases Parents Say To Their Grown Kids That Feel Like An Actual Hug
Hananeko_Studio | Shutterstock Parenting doesn't end once a child becomes an adult. In fact, true parenting is all about parents connecting with their children even when they're older, out of the house, and have lives of their own. In fact, "Early attachment to parents plays a crucial role in shaping the quality of parent-adult child relationships," clinical psychologist Stacey R. Pinatelli explained.
But it's not just spending quality time together or checking in on them, it's also their words that make a huge difference. And the phrases parents say to their grown kids that feel like an actual hug are meant to make them feel loved and supported. It's a reminder that their parents will always be their number one supporter, and they don't have to worry about losing that relationship.
Here are 11 phrases parents say to their grown kids that feel like an actual hug
1. 'I'm proud of you'
Lemon_Photo | Shutterstock
Parents do their best to make their children feel cherished. Whether it's saying "I love you" or engaging in acts of service, any good parent wants their child to feel loved. But even when their kids are grown up, parents comfort them by revealing how proud they are.
Rarely do parents take time out of their day to express how proud they are of their children. But it doesn't take much, because a quick text or phone call can get the job done. And if a parent hasn't gotten into this habit, they might want to start.
As a family psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein revealed, "Parenting doesn't stop when children grow up." So, even if it's slightly embarrassing to say, parents should lay it all out on the table, because they never know how badly their children need to hear it.
2. 'You don't need to have everything figured out'
PeopleImages | Shutterstock
Many adult children feel an unbearable pressure to remain on a timeline of accomplishments. From graduating from college to getting married at a certain age, these expectations can tear them apart. But when parents tell their grown kids they don't need to have everything figured out yet, it feels like an actual hug.
For parents who truly care about their child's happiness, they aren't afraid to tell them to slow down. While taking a year off before college or waiting on marriage may feel like a step back for parents, it could be just what their kid needs to feel like they're being their most authentic self.
3. 'I trust whatever decision you end up making'
PeopleImages | Shutterstock
Spending most of their life abiding by rules and a schedule, and suddenly having the freedom of choice to decide everything for themselves, can feel overwhelming for adult children. So, it helps tremendously to have parents saying, "I trust whatever decision you end up making."
It seems small, but encouraging independence matters quite a lot. Not only does it make their adult kids feel more self-sufficient, but it's the difference between success and failure. As the C.S. Mott Children's Hospital National Poll on Children's Health revealed, when parents encourage independence in their kids, it boosts their self-confidence, resilience, and mental well-being.
4. 'You can always come home'
MAYA LAB | Shutterstock
There's going to be a time when a parent's adult kids need them. Whether it's during a breakup or financial difficulties, parents should meet their children with reassurance, telling them they always have somewhere to land and can come home at any time. When an adult child realizes they aren't alone, it brings a sense of comfort.
Feeling like a hug, a grown kid realizes that even when times are tough, they still have a place where they feel loved. It doesn't need to be often, but parents should remind their kids of this.It matters more to adult children than parents realize.
5. 'I'm here if you need anything'
JLco Julia Amaral | Shutterstock
No matter how close they may be with their parents, there's always going to be something adult children don't want to talk about. Even so, while they may not want to open up, parents can offer certain words of support and encouragement by saying they're present if they need anything.
So long as parents make it known that they're there for them, that's what counts the most. As Bernstein explained, "Children who feel validated are more likely to develop a healthy sense of self and are better equipped to establish positive relationships with others." The same also applies to children who turn into adults.
6. 'You've handed this really well'
Inside Creative House | Shutterstock
While parents want to shield their kids and protect them from everything, adult children need to stand on their own to develop a better sense of independence. But just because autonomy and independence are important, it doesn't mean parents can't encourage them with kind phrases that feel like an actual hug.
By telling their grown children "you've handled this really well," parents are reminding them of how mature they are. It can help bring them out of insecurity or uncertainty, and validate them in ways that other people can't.
7. 'You're right, I'm so sorry'
fizkes | Shutterstock
When parents and adult children argue, parents may feel like they have the upperhand since they are older. But there should still be respect there. And even if parents respect their child's individual decisions, it doesn't mean they don't worry about them. Allowing their worry to get the better of them, it's common to say or do something that crosses a line.
But good parents tell their adult children, "I'm sorry, you're right." The goal of a disagreement isn't to win. And while parents may be at odds with their grown children, it's crucial to allow them to make their own decisions.
As licensed psychologist Jack Stoltzfus said, "An apology is what we do to address our past and heal our guilt and shame, and it is what we do to redress the grievance that our young adult may feel that keeps them enmeshed in resentment toward us. An apology is a gift we can share with our kids."
RELATED: Your Parents Did A Great Job Raising You If You Were Taught These 7 Classic Life Lessons
8. 'Take all the time you need'
WESTOCK PRODUCTIONS | Shutterstock
Whether it's a broken relationship, a fractured friendship, or feeling like they aren't succeeding in a career, good parents understand that healing takes time. By saying this phrase to their adult children, parents are giving them that space they need and not rushing them.
All too often, grown kids are told to get over it. Viewed as another inevitable aspect of life, some parents don't take their adult children's well-being into account. Instead of putting them down, good parents allow their children the space to grieve and then move on.
9. 'I love who you are'
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock
Kids are bound to change once they enter adulthood, and parents can't expect their adult child to remain the same forever. But no matter how much their child may change, it's still their baby at the end of the day. And any great parent will continue to accept and love their child no matter how old they get.
When parents tell their kids they love who they are, they're letting them know that they don't need to change for anyone, and that their authentic self is their best self. Letting them know they're good enough just the way they are makes it easier for them to embrace authenticity.
This is crucial, as a study published in Personality and Individual Differences found that authenticity leads to better well-being and happiness.
10. 'You don't owe us an explanation'
siro46 | Shutterstock
While many parents tend to control their kids, even when they're adults, demanding information for every action they take, parents telling their grown kids that they don't owe an explanation feels like an actual hug. It reminds their grown child that their life is their own, and they don't need to come up with reasons for their habits or choices.
Of course their child doesn't need to justify their decisions, because they're an adult. However, no matter how old they get, children still seek their parents' approval. Needing validation, a little nudge and reassurance matters quite a lot.
11. 'We've always got your back'
pics five | Shutterstock
Parents may feel like this is obvious, but as time passes, it's normal for adult children to need reassurance. Especially when they're feeling stressed or uncertain, knowing they're supported is the difference between thriving and feeling alone.
In fact, when people feel supported by their family, they tend to have better mental health, experiencing positive outcomes in other areas of life as well, including their job and education. So, if an adult child is going through a tough time or seems down, parents should remind them. While they may not open up, it will certainly make them feel less alone.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and trending topics.
