Men Who Seem Easy To Love Until You Realize They’re Not Say These 11 Confusing Phrases On A Regular Basis
LightField Studios / Shutterstock Some men can win you over easily. They seem like perfect, lovable people. This is often how they reel you in. They convince you that they are easy to love, but as time progresses, you’ll realize they’re not.
Men can be good at manipulating women to get what they want. When a relationship is fresh, they may be on their best behavior. They’re eager to please. It’s a tactic they may use to try to get what they want from you. It can make them appear sweet and lovable. You may believe that for a while. However, after a certain amount of time, you’ll realize they’re not who they say they are. These phrases are a sign that they may not be worth your time.
Men who seem easy to love until you realize they’re not say these 11 confusing phrases on a regular basis
1. ‘I don’t believe in labels’
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When you start dating someone new, you probably want to take the relationship to the next level eventually. Women often don’t want to waste their time with men who aren’t going to commit to them. Sure, it’s fun to have a fling, but when it comes to a relationship with substance, a man who says he dislikes labels isn’t going to be the one. He may come off as easy to love at first. Likely, he tells you everything you want to hear.
While this is great in the beginning, once he throws this phrase around, you’ll see through the facade. It’ll be clear that he isn’t interested in anything serious and possibly fears commitment. You may discover he isn’t as lovable as you once thought.
2. ‘I’m too busy right now’
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When you first start seeing someone, they may provide you with all the attention that you want. This could be an example of love bombing. They’re telling you what you want to hear to keep you engaged. It can feel too good to be true at first, and it may be because it is. After some time, his true personality may come out.
If he says phrases like, ‘I’m too busy,’ he is normalizing putting little effort into the relationship. Suddenly, he may claim he doesn’t have the time to text you back, or for the relationship entirely. It’s frustrating, and a sign that he isn’t as lovable as he may seem.
3. “We’ll just see where things go’
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How difficult is it to pursue a relationship with someone who makes it unclear where you stand? It’s not only frustrating, but also confusing. He may seem like he’s happy with you and wants to have a relationship, but he isn’t settling down with you. Instead, he’s keeping you around, but at arm's length. He may seem like he’s interested in something serious, but randomly pulls back.
If a man says things like, ‘We’ll just see where things go,’ he wants to keep you around. He may not be interested in something serious. However, he wants to keep you around. A man like this may seem lovable at first, until you realize he is likely playing games.
4. ‘I’m not ready for anything serious’
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Picture this: you meet a man. He’s wonderful at first. He takes you on dates and checks in with you often. However, that only seems to last a few weeks or months. Suddenly, he stops putting effort in. You notice your texts aren’t getting answered, and he doesn’t want to hang out much. If he follows up this behavior with ‘I’m not ready for anything serious,’ he may not be as easy to love as he appeared in the beginning.
This is a sign that he never planned to commit to you in the first place. Instead, he kept you around when it was convenient for him. It’s proof that he isn’t going to be your boyfriend, and it’s time to look for something better.
5. ‘You’re always overthinking’
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Some relationships start great. Over time, you may notice the vibe changes. If you pick up on this, it likely isn’t your imagination. Your partner may be doing something behind the scenes. If you bring this to his attention and he says, ‘You’re always overthinking,’ he is invalidating your feelings. This behavior may prove he is not as lovable as he seemed at first.
“Invalidation can also be used as an argument strategy. It gives the appearance of supporting the way someone feels, while distancing or avoiding taking responsibility for their role in those emotions,” says Brittany Carrico. “Emotional invalidation can look like blaming, name-calling, and problem-solving before understanding the other person’s experience. Playing down another person’s experience is another way to invalidate.”
6. ‘I’m bad at texting’
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Let’s face it, our phones are always with us. Whether they are in our pockets or in our hands, we have them with us wherever we go. Sure, some people spend less time on their phones than others. However, if a man tries to claim he is bad at texting, it may be an excuse. If he wanted to text you back, he would.
It can be hard to read intentions through text. It’s not always easy to tell the tone of a conversation. However, it’s easy to tell when he is ignoring you. It’s better to move on than wait around for a text from someone who isn’t willing to put in effort.
7. ‘My ex is crazy’
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You may be dating someone easy to love. They seem to check every box. They are caring and compassionate. Suddenly, their behavior might change. You may notice their fuse seems shorter, or they’re easily irritated. As you’re watching his behavior change, he says something like, ‘My ex is crazy.’
We need to take accountability for our actions. If someone’s behavior starts to change, and they’re throwing their ex under the bus, it’s a sign that they aren’t as lovable as you may have thought they were. This is a confusing phrase that takes the pressure off their backs. Instead of owning up to their bad behavior, they blame everyone else, including the people they previously dated.
8. ‘I’ve just been through a lot’
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We are all going through something. Whether it’s stress at work or issues in personal relationships, most of us are enduring something difficult. However, what we’re dealing with is not an excuse to be a bad person or partner. If you’re dating someone who seems great at first, but you notice his behavior starts to get worse over time. He may say something confusing like, ‘I’ve just been going through a lot.’
This phrase can be upsetting. You likely want to support them. If he’s using this as an excuse to treat you poorly, you’ll realize he’s not the person you thought he was. Instead of opening up, he’s treating his feelings as a way to mask his bad behavior.
9. ‘I like you, but i’m not sure’
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It’s not easy to hear a phrase like this from someone you are seeing. Mixed messages like this are understandably confusing. Does he still want to date you? Or is he pushing you away? It can be hard to interpret this, especially if he isn’t willing to explain his true intentions.
This phrase may suggest that someone is not as easy to love as you thought. Instead, he is wishy-washy, refusing to tell you where he sounds. It can complicate the dynamic.
10. ‘I guess you don’t understand me’
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When you’re seeing someone, you likely feel a connection to them. You believe you know them well, and vice versa. It’s a sign that you are close to one another. When their behavior begins to change, and suddenly, he’s acting like it’s your fault, it’s frustrating. Almost as if you should know better than to question his actions. He may say something confusing like, ‘I guess you don’t understand me,’ to make you feel guilty.
This isn’t easy to hear. Of course, you want to understand the person you’re with. This seems like it’s not your problem, but rather something he is dealing with.
11. ‘You’re so sensitive’
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Someone can start as easy to love, but then their behavior changes. The little things they used to do are in the past. Now, it seems like they don’t care about the relationship. If you bring this to his attention, he may dismiss your feelings. Instead of owning up to his actions, he may say something confusing like, ‘You’re so sensitive.’ This is difficult to hear.
“I’ve long believed that 'you’re too sensitive’ is what people say when they’ve said or done something unkind and want you to believe that they haven’t. I’ve considered it a form of gaslighting,” says author Sophia Dembling.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
