You Can Usually Tell Someone’s Narcissistic If They Have These 7 Odd Texting Habits, Says Therapist
Ekateryna Zubal | Shutterstock Therapist Manjit Kaur Ruprai shared in a video on Facebook that you can often spot a narcissist by their communication style, specifically if they have 7 odd texting habits.
Dealing with a narcissist can leave you feeling drained and confused. You can’t easily spot one based on looks or initial interactions alone. That's why it's important to pay attention to their communication clues, specifically their texting habits. As Ruprai noted, "Narcissists often display distinctive text messaging habits that can reveal their personality traits."
You can usually tell someone’s narcissistic if they have these 6 odd texting habits:
1. ‘Frequent ghosting and silent treatment’
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Getting ghosted is pretty common nowadays, but it's different when it comes from someone who is narcissistic. Ruprai said that “narcissists may stop responding to texts when they don’t feel that they are the center of attention.”
Narcissists love to be the star of the show because they truly believe they are, no matter what their actual status is in reality. Life coach Kristy Lee Parkin, Ph.D., explained, “They are highly skilled at making themselves the star of the show, whether by writing the script themselves or hijacking another person’s scene.” When texting, a narcissist may pull back their energy when they feel the show isn’t about them, leading to ghosting. Additionally, they may use the silent treatment to punish you when they feel you are not giving them the attention they believe they deserve.
2.‘Texting obsessively'
At first, lots of texts from someone you’re getting to know may seem like a great thing. They are paying attention to you; therefore, obviously, you take up a positive space in their minds. They must find you interesting.
But this bombardment could instead be a sign from a narcissist that they are only interested in themselves. According to Ruprai, this bombardment isn't because they want to hear what you have to say. It's because they are looking for "validation."
3. 'Manipulative messages'
If the messages you are receiving from the person you suspect may be a narcissist often put you down or use passive-aggressive language, Ruprai said you should certainly take note because that's problematic texting behavior.
She went on to say that they may offer “backhanded compliments to get to you.” Messages like these are confusing and manipulative, especially when they are followed by the silent treatment. They leave you feeling hurt and unsure where you went wrong.
4.‘They demand a response immediately’
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According to Ruprai, “They become upset and agitated” when you do not respond quickly enough to their texts. You are on their time, and if you don’t respond, they may lash out at you.
What's interesting is that the narcissist has no problem leaving you on read, but if you can't respond promptly, they can't see the disparity. As Parkin noted, "Narcissists often feel as if they must remain the center of attention in anyone’s life. Relationships often serve the purpose of boosting the narcissist's status." When you don't respond when they feel they need you to, you aren't boosting their status or behaving in a way that proves to them how important they are to you.
5.‘They can be charming’
They can use flattery to draw you in, but this doesn’t last long. Ruprai explained that these texts are meant to hook you. She explained, “Narcissists are known for their sense of entitlement, self-centeredness, superiority complex, and condescending attitude toward others.”
They may disguise this at first and charm the pants off you, making you feel good with their constant compliments, but then turn on you suddenly. Therapist Sarah Squires explained that narcissists like to use love-bombing when they are trying to create a false sense of connection. She noted, "But it’s not about connection. It’s about control. The faster they can hook you emotionally, the easier it is to manipulate you later."
6. ‘Lack of empathy’
“Their messages often show a lack of genuine concern for other people’s feelings,” explained Ruprai. She added, "They focus on their own needs because they are selfish."
Lack of empathy is a key trait in narcissism. Narcissists are callous, and they may treat you as though you are subhuman in comparison to themselves. Watch out for text messages that seem void of care and concern for others.
7. ‘Blame shifting’
Narcissists thrive in the role of a victim and will often use blame shifting as a means to put themselves in that position even if it is unwarranted.
They will happily shift the blame from themselves onto you. Life coach Anne Duvaux explained, "In this tactic, narcissists avoid taking responsibility for their actions by shifting the blame onto you or others. You might receive texts like, 'This is all your fault; you made me act this way,' or 'If you hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t be upset.' By redirecting the blame, they make you question your own actions and feel guilty for their behavior."
If you are having a text exchange with someone you suspect of being a narcissist, keep a lookout for their sudden switch in behavior. They will make themselves the victim, shifting blame onto you.
Laura Lomas is a writer with a Master’s degree in English and Creative Writing who focuses on news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
