Adult Kids Whose Parents Cut Them Off Emotionally & Financially Often Have These 11 Behaviors
shurkin_son | Shutterstock On top of other drivers of tension in the parent-child relationship later in life, things like independence, growth, and maturity tend to be the major factors in the family dynamic. If a child is consistently turning to their parents to solve their problems, plan their future, and accommodate their every need, even into adulthood, chances are their relationship will suffer in the face of dependence and immaturity.
Adult kids whose parents cut them off emotionally and financially often have these behaviors. Whether it’s a fault of their parents' permissive or overbearing attitudes or a deep sense of narcissism, some parents have to set boundaries to protect everyone involved. They can’t keep giving forever, especially if it’s putting their well-being and their child’s future at risk.
Adult kids whose parents cut them off emotionally and financially often have these 11 behaviors
1. They overstep boundaries
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Despite often setting their own boundaries and expecting their parents to adhere to all their expectations, adult children who are inevitably cut off are usually prone to overstepping their parents' boundaries. Whether it’s taking money, disrespecting their space, or emotionally manipulating them, they clearly have little respect for their parents.
Especially if their parents were permissive earlier in life, justifying their misbehavior and overlooking the need for discipline, chances are this disrespect stems from their childhood entitlement. They don’t know how to see their parents as humans deserving of respect — just like them — because they’ve always been the people who solve their problems no matter what.
2. They assume financial support will always be there
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Many adult children who take advantage of their parents’ financial support and assume it’ll always be accessible to them may make more impulsive, irresponsible decisions with their money. They’re not earning it or respecting their parents' offerings, so they’re stuck in a loop that puts their parents’ financial well-being at risk.
Of course, many young adults are struggling to achieve financial independence, so parental support is sometimes inevitable. However, if financial assistance oversteps boundaries and is quickly taken with little support, a study from the Journal of Marriage and Family suggests it can also impact parental risks for depression and marriage problems.
Parents are often forced to consider cutting off their kids emotionally and financially to protect their own mental health, especially when guilt, shame, and entitlement lie at the heart of their financial support.
3. They guilt-trip to get what they want
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If a parent starts to set boundaries with their adult kids around money, emotional support, or their daily lives, and their adult kids respond with phrases like “You’d do that to your own kid?” and “You owe me,” they’re weaponizing guilt to get their way.
While experts often talk about guilt-tripping from parents, the truth is that an adult child using these manipulative tactics often has the same effects. They might get what they want from their parents in the moment, but in the end, it largely sabotages trust, connection, and well-being in their relationship.
4. They’re defensive about change
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Discomfort is inevitable when you’re challenging yourself or growing as a person, according to a study from Psychological Science. Yet, many entitled adult children would prefer to remain entitled and dependent on their parents to avoid this discomfort entirely.
Whether it’s getting defensive in the face of constructive criticism or guilting their parents into solving all their problems for them, they cling to immaturity for comfort. Adult kids whose parents cut them off emotionally and financially often have these behaviors, but at some point, their parents have to set boundaries.
They can’t protect and provide for them forever, especially if it’s coming at the expense of their own future and well-being. At some point, they have to learn how to face discomfort without a “Plan B” to immediately fall back on.
5. They only reach out when they need something
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Kids who were never told “no” and grew into entitled adults don’t see their parents as humans living life for the first time, just like them. They see them as a bank account or a problem-solver, meant to constantly adhere to their needs and make their lives more comfortable.
Chances are, in adulthood, they really only reach out when they need something. They’re not stopping by for quality time or showing up to support their parents during hard times — they’re only showing their face when they need a solution or money.
Adult kids whose parents cut them off emotionally and financially often have these behaviors, and at some point, parents can’t continue to tolerate these actions without putting their own well-being at risk.
6. They minimize their parents' feelings
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Even if they’re actively targeting their parents by guilt-tripping and escalating small conflicts, a toxic adult child will still find a way to minimize and dismiss their parents' emotions. Even if it seems like a tactic you can spot instantly, the truth is that being consistently invalidated tends to warp a person’s reality over time.
A parent's psychological well-being and mental health are greatly at risk when they’re not being humanized through emotional validation and empathy, which is why creating space with toxic adult kids is so necessary. They deserve the same grace, affection, and appreciation as their kids do, even when they’re struggling.
7. They bring up old conflicts
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According to a study from Psychology & Aging, there’s often a lot of tension around childhood trauma and experiences between parents and adult children who don’t have healthy communication skills. Parents hold onto guilt, adult children live with resentment, and all of their conversations tend to come back to one shared foundation: disconnection.
Parents who eventually cut their adult children out of their lives may be exhausted and drained from trying to mediate all this resentment and pain, especially when their kids cling to their trauma without any motivation to heal or address it. They can’t keep apologizing and “making up” for their mistakes forever, and if their kids refuse to talk through it and find a solution, it’s never going to go away.
8. They withhold affection and communication
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Whether it’s the “silent treatment” when they’re upset or withholding affection when something doesn’t go their way, adult kids whose parents cut them off emotionally and financially often have these behaviors. They treat love as conditional, dependent only on whether or not they’re getting what they want from their parents — whether it’s money, support, or emotional labor.
Of course, if these kids grew up only receiving love in transactional ways from their parents, there’s a chance they’ve learned these behaviors from them. So, sometimes, creating space in family relationships is best, or there’s a constant cycle of disconnection and hostility that feels impossible to escape from.
9. They rewrite family stories
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Manipulative people who expect others to adhere to their every need often use tactics like controlling the narrative or shifting stories to paint themselves as the victim. Adult children who are eventually cut off do the same — they change their childhood stories to make their parents feel guilty and often cling to a chronic sense of victimhood that offers them pity and sympathy.
While this kind of selfishness and manipulation can sometimes be a manifestation of stress in an adult child’s life, according to psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein, it can also be a sign of entitlement and greed that sabotages a family dynamic over time.
10. They constantly create drama
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According to a 2020 study, manipulative people often justify their gossiping behaviors and need for drama as “self-efficacy,” which sparks a cycle of negativity that’s hard to escape from. So, if an adult child is always speaking poorly about their parents in public and escalating small arguments into something bigger and more dramatic, chances are they’re ruining other people’s well-being in the process.
They need drama to feel like they’re in control of a situation, whether they realize it or not, which simultaneously puts their parents at risk for mental health concerns and chronic stress.
11. They refuse to take accountability
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Many entitled, insecure adult children are constantly compensating for their low sense of self-worth with controlling behaviors and manipulative actions. Even with their own parents, their guilt-tripping behaviors and blame-shifting all serve to protect them from addressing their own failures and mistakes.
That’s part of the reason why so many people today refuse to take accountability, according to mental health expert Jamie Cannon. They believe that taking accountability admits some kind of fault and affects their self-image, pushing them into an uncomfortable reality they don’t want to manage.
So, they turn to their parents to solve their problems for them, overlooking any opportunities for them to take responsibility, mature, and grow themselves.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
