If You Can't Stand These 11 Common Phrases, Your Brain Is Likely Wired Differently
Luis Rojas Estudio | Shutterstock If you’re an inherently self-aware or emotionally intelligent person, your brain probably functions at a different level than the average person. You’re not only in touch with your feelings, but you act based on your emotions with others and make decisions from that thoughtful, curious lens. So, of course, when speaking to someone who only ever weaponizes incompetence or acts with ignorance, you’re going to feel a disconnect.
Even in casual conversations around things like “it is what it is” and “you’ll be fine,” if you can’t stand these common phrases, your brain is likely wired differently.
If you can't stand these 11 common phrases, your brain is likely wired differently:
1. ‘Let’s circle back’
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Simplicity and clarity are often incredibly important for people with high IQs. They don’t try to convince people of their intellect by overcomplicating topics or using unrecognizable language, but instead lean on accessibility in every aspect of their lives to ensure everyone’s on the same page.
That’s why corporate jargon is one of the things most people with unique brains can’t stand. They understand that it’s not only inaccessible for most people, but it also tends to hurt employee well-being and overall morale, as a study from the University of Florida explains.
Whether it’s “boiling the ocean” or “circling back,” you’d prefer to simply say what you mean, without making things complicated for no reason other than to make yourself seem superior.
2. ‘It is what it is’
If your brain is wired differently and you’re more intelligent than the average person, chances are curiosity comes naturally to you. You seek out new experiences, lean into challenging norms, and even appreciate a good debate every once in a while. As experts from Harvard Business Review explain, curiosity is tied not just to your intelligence, but also to your social skills, personal growth, and communication tendencies.
You don’t see things from a “black” and “white” boundary, but through a more fluid spectrum of thought. That’s why you can’t stand phrases like “it is what it is.” You can’t imagine accepting something as “fact” when it’s vague or unhelpful.
Even if it’s a parent telling you that the world just “is what it is” to avoid taking responsibility for changing it, these kinds of phrases just don’t sit right with you.
3. ‘Let’s deal with that later’
Unless it’s a tactic to create space to cool down during a heated argument, if you find delaying or avoiding conflict resolution with a phrase like this to be uncomfortable, your brain is likely wired differently. While the rest of us lean on immediate gratification and comfort-seeking with misguided strategies, you care about challenging yourself in the moment.
It’s a superpower — to be regulated enough to handle conflict in the moment and to step outside of your comfort zone. You understand that change often requires discomfort, even if it’s difficult to make space for.
4. ‘You’ll be fine’
If you can’t stand phrases like “you’ll be fine,” your brain is likely wired differently. You’re often connected to your emotions on another level, accepting and making change based on how you feel in any given moment. It’s a superpower to have this level of self-awareness, so it’s not surprising that invalidating phrases like this, no matter how well-intentioned they are, bother you.
You don’t like being told how to feel. You like debates and productive, thoughtful conversations, but being “written off” with a phrase like this is far from thoughtful.
5. ‘You’re overreacting’
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Gaslighting behaviors can take many forms, but oftentimes they erupt through conversational phrases like “you’re overreacting.” It tries to disturb a person’s sense of reality to change the narrative. It attempts to overlook their need for accountability and instead shifts blame to someone simply expressing their emotions or concerns.
While cognitive intelligence and emotional intelligence aren’t always inherently linked, most open-minded, high-IQ people have a certain level of emotional awareness and regulation skills that make phrases like this a burden. They know how to address and acknowledge their own emotions, so they don’t need anyone around them to validate or reassure them that they’re “correct.”
6. ‘It’s just a joke’
While gaslighters often try to manipulate other people’s sense of reality and confidence, the truth is that their manipulation tactics are founded on personal insecurity. They grasp at controlling behaviors to give them a sense of security, rather than forming self-gratification habits and self-assuredness that cultivates it for them, without needing to take advantage of anyone else.
Truly intelligent people are curious and careful about how they interact with others, even when they’re uncomfortable or feeling insecure. They find phrases like “it’s just a joke” that gaslight and blame people for being a victim of cruelty to be disgusting.
7. ‘I’m just brutally honest’
People who disguise their hurtful comments and meanness with phrases like “I’m just brutally honest” aren’t truly being themselves — they’re trying to avoid taking accountability. They want to hurt people without needing to apologize and make themselves the “victim,” even when they’re the ones hurting people.
However, if you can’t stand these common phrases, you’re not only likely more intelligent — operating on another level of thoughtfulness and curiosity — but also more empathetic. You care about making people feel seen and supported, even if it means leaning into the occasional discomfort of an apology.
8. ‘Just don’t think about it’
Many people who are innately intelligent function on a different level. They’re innately open-minded, see things through a more curious lens, and often appreciate the little things in life that other people overlook. Their “openness” is a facet of their intelligence, but also of their personality, and therefore seeps into all of their interactions and relationships.
That’s why phrases like “just don’t think about it” that urge them to be more closed off and ignorant are immediately discouraging. They can’t stand people who weaponize their ignorance for comfort and suppress things they don’t want to handle, because they know how miserable it makes them feel.
9. ‘That’s life’
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Simply accepting that life is “impossible” and expecting someone else to throw solutions and success into your lap is an entitled person’s reality. They don’t take control of their own life or take accountability for their own deterioration, but instead find solace in blaming everyone and everything else for their unhappiness.
However, if you can’t stand phrases like “I can’t change” or “that’s life,” your brain is likely wired differently. You find peace and excitement in challenges and discomfort, even if everyone else in your life avoids it at all costs.
10. ‘It’s not that deep’
Your brain is inherently connected with self-confidence and self-assuredness — it’s a skill that can be taught through practice and conditioning. That’s why people with unique brain wiring and a strong sense of confidence often find phrases like “it’s not that deep” to be especially annoying.
Not only do they sabotage relationships, but they also invalidate people’s experiences and urge them to adopt shame and guilt for simply expressing how they feel.
11. ‘Calm down’
On top of being a common gaslighting phrase, it’s not uncommon for people to invalidate someone who doesn’t agree with them or who’s provoking their insecurities with a phrase like “calm down.” But if you can’t stand these common phrases, your brain is wired differently.
Not only do you obviously have the emotional regulation skills to comfort yourself and set boundaries, rather than policing other people’s behavior, when you’re uncomfortable, you also often notice gaslighting behaviors early. You notice when you’re not being respected or validated, so even when the phrases or behaviors are vague, you recognize their manipulative behaviors.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
