The Art Of Being A Decent Wife: 3 Simple Habits Of Genuinely Decent Wives
Ilona Kozhevnikova | Shutterstock Between the good days and bad days, the uplifting moods and being down in the dumps, lies balance. Having an emotional balance between two partners is key to unlocking a sustainable relationship that thrives.
Have you ever locked arms with someone and started spinning in a circle? The momentum of the two people spinning together in sync builds on itself, like a human flywheel effect. If either one unlocks arms, both are certain to go flying in opposite directions.
Emotional balance is no different, and genuinely decent wives understand the delicate interplay between themselves and their husbands. Just like the locked arms of two spinning people, a decent wife knows the reactions and responses between her and her husband can either increase the marital momentum or send both people spiraling.
Here are three simple habits of genuinely decent wives:
1. She doesn't make him responsible for her happiness
A genuinely decent wife shows up as herself, not as whoever she thinks her partner wants her to be, says therapist Dr. Gloria Brame, Ph.D. She maintains her own identity and friendships. She sees no reason to keep secrets from her spouse (except perhaps for happy surprises, like birthday parties!).
She listens to him, takes a genuine interest in his work, and has a meaningful interest in his happiness and health. She doesn't keep track of small mistakes, she doesn't use intimacy to punish him, and she doesn't hold grudges. Instead, a decent wife fills her inner life with things she enjoys.
One thing she does not do: She doesn't make her partner responsible for her happiness, or require that he prove his love with financial rewards or fancy dinners. She loves him because she loves the marriage she has with him. She loves him for the quality of their relationship.
2. She creates space for him
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Marriage and family therapist Richard Drobnick explains how women often thrive on connection, but they also know when to let space be the support. She recognizes that caring for her partner is not measured by how often she checks up on him, but how she respects her husband’s need for space to work out his problems or organize his thoughts.
She also practices real and not routine appreciation. Men often interpret appreciation as a sign that their efforts matter, so a decent wife notices the small things and gives warm and genuine thank-yous. Her appreciation is not a performance. It is an indication of someone who understands her partner’s needs. This steady understanding of her husband’s need for space and sincere acknowledgment creates an atmosphere where trust and peace naturally grow.
3. She doesn't badmouth him in public
Intuitive life coach Ronnie Ann Ryan does her best to refrain from complaining about her husband to anyone. (Ok, maybe a best friend or two.) What you say is remembered, and when you're no longer angry, others still have heard the disparaging things said about your partner.
Even if they were true for the moment, or more regularly, tell only a few people to maintain your energy. When you badmouth your spouse frequently, it lowers your vibe and drags down your spouse. On an energetic level, it will drain your relationship of joy and healing possibilities.
Will Curtis is YourTango's expert editor. Will has over 14 years of experience as an editor covering relationships, spirituality, and human interest topics.
