People Who Go Pretty Much Non-Verbal When They’re Hanging Out In A Group Usually Have These 11 Reasons
ViChizh / Shutterstock Some people have a hard time curating responses and communicating with people when they are in group settings. They typically have several reasons that cause them to become non-verbal while in these environments.
Some individuals react in this way because something about the environment causes them anxiety, and their brain perceives it as a threat. Others require more breaks from groups of people to recharge their social battery and process information. Whatever the reason is, both react by shutting down and no longer being as verbal as they once were.
People who go pretty much non-verbal when they’re hanging out in a group usually have these 11 reasons
1. Sensory overload
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When a person’s brain gets overwhelmed by their surroundings, it can make it very difficult for them to seem engaged while in group settings. This sensory overload can cause them to shut down in the moment and use non-verbal communication as a coping mechanism.
“Shutdown due to sensory overload usually means the individual goes quiet and just stops processing information. Usually, the individual will become unresponsive. Sometimes they may have movements like rocking or fiddling. Typically, they use these movements in an attempt to try to calm down,” according to Griffin Occupational Therapy, an online therapy service created by therapist Kim Griffin, to provide resources that help people manage sensory processing.
2. Anxiety
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Anxiety in group settings can cause a person to become mute. This person will feel that the anxiety that arises in uncomfortable and difficult situations is too overwhelming and therefore chooses not to talk to avoid messing up in these situations. This can be referred to as selective mutism.
According to the Cleveland Clinic, “Selective mutism (SM) is a mental health condition where you can’t talk in certain situations because of fear or anxiety. It usually affects young children, but it can also affect adolescents and adults.” If selective mutism goes untreated, it can potentially make socializing difficult for individuals and can lead to loneliness while also causing more anxiety-related conditions.
3. Trauma response
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Trauma uses protective mechanisms if, in certain situations, an individual feels overwhelmed or threatened. When an individual’s brain’s fight/flight/freeze response is activated, they shut down to try to cope with the perceived threats.
“Traumatic experiences fundamentally alter the brain’s processing of emotions and memories. During trauma, the brain can become overwhelmed, leading to a state of heightened alertness and survival instinct. This can show up as hypervigilance or emotional blunting, where the brain prioritizes survival over emotional processing. As a result, one may find themselves disconnected from their emotions as a protective response to prevent further psychological harm,” according to Cedar Springs Hospital, a behavioral health treatment center. When the brain becomes overwhelmed and has trouble processing emotions, speaking can become more difficult.
4. Low energy
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Some people get easily drained and overstimulated when interacting with large groups. When they start feeling low on energy, they have a harder time curating responses and engaging in conversations with others.
Sometimes, individuals just require more solitude to recharge than others do. “Some people may just not be wired to be as social as others. Of course, that isn't inherently better or worse than any other type of orientation. One person may have no problem spending days at a stretch surrounded by hoards of casual buddies. Someone else may only be drawn to have three hour stints with their close friends, with lots of quiet time in between,” mentions Chris MacLeod, a registered social worker.
5. Processing issues
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Individuals who experience cognitive and sensory overload while hanging out with a big group of people will typically become non-verbal in this setting due to a need for processing. When there is so much going on in a certain environment, the brain will feel an urge to shut down until it has time to process all the information it has taken in in a quiet, isolated setting.
This processing is usually something that these individuals require in order to formulate their thoughts and responses. When they are in environments that are not conducive to processing, they have a harder time speaking and reacting to the information they are absorbing.
6. Feeling invalidated
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Feeling invalidated can cause a person’s nervous system to get overwhelmed. When this happens, they shut down as a protective response to being in a dismissive environment. Constantly feeling unheard and invalidated will make a person struggle to manage their emotions and understand how they should best respond to certain situations, causing them to go non-verbal in group settings.
Alan Tsang, a licensed clinical professional counsellor with Sage Therapy, explains that, “Invalidation and dismissal can impact a person’s ability to regulate their own emotions and responses. Many studies have suggested that frequent dismissal can increase the likelihood of personal harm, psychological distress, and mental health issues including depression and anxiety. In general, the effects of constant dismissal can also result in a disconnect from strong self-worth and can lead to a tendency for pushing away our own feelings of validity.”
7. Trust issues
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When a person struggles with trust issues, their brain will aim to protect them from social situations that it perceives as unsafe or triggering. They will verbally shut down as a defense mechanism to prevent a repeat of past betrayals.
Trust issues not only hinder a person’s ability to develop healthier relationships, but it also takes a major toll on their mind and body. “A belief system marred by violations of trust can significantly burden an individual both mentally and physically. Overwhelming anxiety and stress can easily become everyday companions, facilitating the gradual erosion of both mind and body,” according to GoodTherapy, a mental health resource that helps connect individuals in need of therapy with therapists and counselors.
8. Perfectionism
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Perfectionism makes a person develop an intense fear of judgment, and they begin to overthink everything they say and do. Considering this, someone who feels as though they need to be perfect will likely go non-verbal when they are in group settings that cause them anxiety.
Leon Garber, a licensed mental health counselor, mentions that, “Individuals who struggle with perfectionism often believe it's best to worry about the details of things because they have nothing to lose by doing so, or, at the very least, the losses are minimal. But, as they obsess and the world goes on around them, they fail to notice more significant problems that require attention that can't be neglected for much longer.” Their relationships with others and themselves will likely suffer from these unrealistic expectations of themselves.
9. Fatigue
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For introverts and neurodivergent people, fatigue can motivate them to be less verbal while in group settings. Social interactions for prolonged periods can become mentally exhausting for individuals who require solitude to recharge.
“Social exhaustion exacerbates social anxiety, particularly for those who are exceptionally introverted. You’re likely to feel more apprehensive or panicked in social situations and are often concerned that you will be judged harshly or say something inappropriate. A common sign of introvert burnout is feeling a strong urge to leave the social gathering and preferring to isolate completely for prolonged periods of time,” according to LeggUp, a wellness and development platform that has certified coaches who help individuals with career growth and improving mental well-being.
10. Avoidance
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People who feel a need to avoid situations that cause them to have an anxiety response will typically have a difficult time being verbal when hanging out in groups. Their ability to speak may shut down in the moment as a protective mechanism. While these people will want to avoid communication and the situation altogether, they would potentially do better if they expose themselves to the situations that cause them anxiety.
“Exposure is a core element of cognitive-behavioral therapy for anxiety disorders. One important aspect of this treatment is repeated and prolonged exposure to a threat while discouraging patients from using avoidance strategies, such as escape or safety behaviors,” according to a 2019 study published in the National Library of Medicine.
11. Introversion
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An introverted person experiences overstimulation when they have been in a social setting for long periods of time. As their social battery begins to die, they will likely become less and less verbal and know that it is time for them to do some internal processing.
“Social interactions often require more mental energy from introverts, as they process information deeply and may feel overwhelmed by prolonged exposure to social situations. This increased cognitive load can lead to quicker exhaustion and a stronger need for solitude to recharge,” mentions Brad Brenner, Ph.D., a therapist in DC who founded the Therapy Group of DC. When people go non-verbal when hanging out in a group, it is typically always their brain and body’s response to feeling overwhelmed and needing time to recharge and process their emotions.
Kamryn Idol is a writer with a bachelor's degree in media and journalism who covers lifestyle, relationship, family, and wellness topics.
