If Your Adult Kid Uses These 11 Phrases, You Raised A Very Good Person
What your adult children observed you doing when they were younger impacts the kind of person they become.
PeopleImages / Shutterstock There are some phrases that, if your adult kid uses, might mean they are a very good person. These phrases show that they have consideration and empathy for others' feelings and understand the importance of mutual respect in their relationships.
Typically, children model their behavior and speech after their parents, and you'll often hear them saying things to others that you also say quite often. If they are grown adults who speak to others in a way that is respectful and caring, you can be proud of yourself for raising such a great human.
If your adult kid uses these 11 phrases, you raised a very good person
1. 'Let me help you with that'
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An adult child who offers to help others as much as they can was likely raised in a way that made them a very good person. This unprompted gesture shows that you raised them to be kind, empathetic, and embody good manners.
When your adult child chooses to lend a hand to others and show kindness, even when no one is watching, you can confidently know that your parenting created a person who not only considers themselves, but also considers those around them. If this was a quality you commonly exuded, it is natural for your children to mimic you and later in life develop these same characteristics.
2. 'I feel strongly about this, but I respect your right to disagree'
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While raising your children, instilling positive key values in them is crucial in helping them grow into very good people. If your adult child knows how to respectfully disagree with others, this is a strong indication that you have successfully parented them in a way that influences them to have values.
Not only does this show that they value and respect diversity of thought, but they also have an open mind and likely a high level of emotional intelligence. By highlighting certain values your children should lean on throughout their lives, you are raising prosocial people who consider how their interactions with others can be inspiring, helpful, caring, and generous, explains John D. Rich, Jr., Ph.D., an educational psychologist and associate professor of psychology at Delaware State University.
3. 'I need to set a boundary here'
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If your adult child is able to effectively set healthy boundaries in their relationships, you have likely raised very good people. The ability to set boundaries for themselves is accompanied by other positive qualities like self-awareness and being respectful.
You have raised them to understand the importance of their own feelings and needs, and because of this, they have grown into a person who knows their self-worth and views communication as a key component in developing clear boundaries and healthy relationships. If, when you were raising your child, you established boundaries to keep them safe, they will realize later in life that because of those boundaries, they felt loved and valued. This will influence them to continue setting boundaries so they can experience these feelings in other relationships also.
4. 'I understand how you feel; that must be tough'
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Raising children to be empathetic and compassionate may help them later in life to become very good people. When, as adults, they validate the feelings of others and compassionately acknowledge the impact that certain situations have had on other people, they are showing that they are emotionally intelligent.
These are typically behaviors and characteristics that are learned by observing, so if your children develop high emotional intelligence, it is likely that you parented them in a kind and understanding way while they were growing up. If you cared for their feelings and took the time to listen to them while they were younger, they will do the same for others as they get older.
5. 'That's not fair to that person; we should address it'
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If your adult children act with integrity and fairness, it may be safe to say that you have raised very good people. When they have developed a deep understanding of not only how they should be treated but also how other people should be treated, they are more likely to take others into consideration and address unfairness when they see it.
The integrity that they possess will persuade them to always behave in ways that are fair and take responsibility for their actions when they do not align as closely as they should with their values. A good person will have integrity and value fairness because they understand the impact it has on creating relationships that thrive in credibility and trustworthiness.
6. 'I'm sorry, I know my actions had a negative impact on you'
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You can be certain that you raised your children to be good people when they hold themselves accountable and take responsibility for their actions. If they know they hurt someone, instead of just being sorry that person now feels hurt, they are sorry they were the one to hurt them.
This leads to a much more sincere apology, which will likely help them repair the relationship and prevent future harm. This shows that they truly understand the negative impact that their actions have had and they wish to fix it. A sincere apology is more than just saying “I’m sorry,” and they are aware of that.
7. 'I made a mistake, and here's what I'm going to do to fix it'
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When your adult children take responsibility for their mistakes and actively pursue plans to fix them, it is a good sign that you have raised a very good person. A person who does this when they mess up shows that they are emotionally mature, able to self-reflect, and value integrity.
By encouraging your children to be self-aware and accountable for their actions, they can understand that mistakes do not have to be looked down upon. Instead, as they flourish into adults, they will view their mistakes as learning opportunities and will grow from them.
8. 'That's a valid point, I hadn't considered it from that angle'
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Open-mindedness is crucial when trying to understand the perspectives of others and having open conversations with people without getting defensive. You know you have raised a good person when they are able to consider other people’s angles and validate those perspectives instead of immediately trying to shut them down.
This is also an indication that your adult child is a good person because it shows that they are empathetic. By considering the perspectives of others, they are able to step outside of the way they see things and aim to see things through the eyes of someone else, which is a significant aspect of building healthy and successful relationships.
9. 'I love you, and I'm glad you're in my life'
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Verbally expressing emotions to others is a good sign that you have raised a very good person. When they are capable of showing and telling their feelings to other people in a healthy manner, and they are supportive and caring of others, they are showing high emotional intelligence.
Kendra Cherry, a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, explains that, “Sometimes people are empaths and in tune with their emotions, but struggle to actually share these feelings with others. Emotionally intelligent people not only understand feelings, they know how to express them appropriately.”
Your adult child also likely has the ability to empathize and understand the feelings of other people, which influences their positive interactions and healthier relationships.
10. 'I'm so proud of you for accomplishing that goal'
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When your adult child makes an effort to show their support and empathy for another person’s accomplishments, you can be confident in knowing you raised a good person. This shows that they know how to positively socialize with others, and this is crucial when creating healthy relationships where mutual respect thrives.
It becomes obvious that you encouraged positive and important values in your children while they were growing up when they show consideration for others and are respectful. They become good people who effectively navigate relationships and social interactions.
11. 'I need some time to think about this before I respond'
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Emotional maturity is a strong indication that, as a parent, you have instilled positive traits in your adult children. Not only will they be able to navigate and manage emotions, but they will also be respectful of others and are likely to develop good communication skills.
“Emotional maturity is all about how well we handle our feelings in a positive and constructive manner. It means being able to recognize what we’re feeling, keeping our cool during tough situations, and choosing to respond thoughtfully instead of just reacting impulsively,” according to Telapsychiatry, a team of professionals dedicated to improving the overall health of individuals. If your adult kid commonly says these phrases, just know that they likely possess characteristics that make them a very good person.
Kamryn Idol is a writer with a bachelor's degree in media and journalism who covers lifestyle, relationship, family, and wellness topics.
