Women Who Can’t Stop Saying These 11 Phrases Exhaust Everyone Around Them
When a woman gets caught up in using these annoying phrases, even their closest companions become exhausted.
Lopolo / Shutterstock It can be hard to be confident. I know I have dealt with insecurity throughout my life. When a woman lacks confidence, she may say certain phrases to encourage validation from those around her. However, these comments can become overwhelming. Maybe she isn’t suffering from a lack of confidence but rather is going through something she isn’t ready to talk about. You can see that she is struggling, but she only makes these subtle phrases instead of having an important but hard conversation.
Women are often compassionate. For the most part, we can find patience for the people in our lives who make subtle phrases that get on our nerves. Over time, these same sentences repeated over and over can become exhausting. It’s not that we don’t care about their feelings, because we definitely do. It can just be tiring to hear the same phrases often without seeing any effort put in to change their situation. Whether they are complaining about the same guy, not being honest about how they’re doing, or seeking validation, we want to be there for our friends. However, it isn’t easy when they repeat these same phrases over again.
Women who can’t stop saying these 11 phrases exhaust everyone around them
1. ‘I’m fine’
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We have all been here. I know I am guilty of claiming I was fine when deep down, I was not. It can be difficult to be vulnerable, even with those whom you are close to. I knew my behavior showed that everything was far from fine, but I didn’t want to get into the specifics, so I lied. Sadly, this is something many people do, and it can become exhausting for everyone around them.
Women naturally want to help one another. When a close friend is clearly in her feelings about something but tries to play it off like everything is okay, her loved ones will be worried. At some point, they will realize there is nothing they can do to get her to open up. She will repeat "I’m fine" until everyone around her grows exhausted and stops showing her sympathy.
2. ‘I feel ugly today’
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Listen, we have all felt this way. Finding confidence isn’t always easy. When someone feels down about the way they look, they may make comments like this in hopes of getting that person to say, "No, you look great." Even the biggest girl's girl can struggle with constantly providing this support for their friends. It can be exhausting, especially when you can’t understand why they don’t see how beautiful they are.
Sadly, 95 percent of women do not feel as though they are beautiful, according to research done by Dove. When someone is constantly seeking this validation, they genuinely think they need it. While you may want to boost your friend's confidence whenever you can, being their main source of validation can become exhausting, even to the most caring individuals.
3. ‘Whatever you want’
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Being a good friend means that you want every event and conversation to be on a level playing ground. It’s not a competition where you want to get everything you want every time. It can be difficult to achieve that when a woman is constantly saying, "Whatever you want." She clearly has an opinion or preference, but she’ll say this phrase to get out of making a decision.
This phrase becomes exhausting because one person making all of the decisions can feel unbearable. It’s frustrating because they may use their lack of input against that person in the future. It’s hard to maintain a relationship with a woman who never wants to give a solid opinion. It grows to be completely exhausting.
4. ‘I don’t know’
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I know we have all been there. We’re hanging out with someone, and we ask them a question. They simply reply, ‘I don’t know,’ and leave it at that. How frustrating is it to try to have a conversation like that? It’s exhausting to try to include someone unwilling to participate. They do know, they just aren’t able to speak up for themselves even when given the chance. They can say this answer over and over again because they are afraid of making decisions, which can be difficult for everyone around them.
“Making decisions is difficult. It’s hard to choose between two paths, and it’s even harder to trust the one you end up picking -- especially after you’ve delayed picking it for as long as you possibly can,” says Chelsea Latimer for Elite Daily.“‘I don’t know’ is safe. It’s like the worn-out pair of jeans you keep wearing even though you know they don’t fit you that well anymore (not to mention they’re completely out of style). ‘I don’t know' doesn’t honor you, but it works. It’s easy. ‘I don’t know’ is what we choose to say when bravery evades us.”
5. ‘I don’t care’
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When someone says they don’t care, it can be disappointing. When you care for a person, and they don’t seem to give that back, it’s exhausting. It doesn’t mean they don’t care about you or the friendship, but rather, they don’t feel like putting enough energy into the relationship. It’s disheartening to hear them blow you off time and time again.
Constantly saying they don’t care proves that putting energy into making things better or coming to a helpful conclusion isn’t important to them. It’s exhausting to listen to their lack of motivation to improve situations. This phrase can also be said when struggling with decision-making. No matter the reason, it’s still exhausting.
6. ‘I’m just saying’
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How exhausting is it to hear someone say this? It always follows a passive-aggressive and hurtful comment. They may try to play it off as though they are just being honest. However, it still hurts, and there are kinder ways to say these things. When a woman defaults to that phrase, it can make everyone around her not only exhausted but uncomfortable. She comes across as rude.
“The Cambridge Dictionary says that 'just saying' is used when you complain or criticize another person in an attempt to make it less offensive,” says Jenna Fletcher. “The takeaway here is that 'just saying' is a way to dismiss a person’s feelings and absolve the speaker of any blame for their hurtful words. It “allows” that person to basically say whatever you want without fully owning how their words will affect the person they’re speaking to.”
7. ‘He doesn’t like me’
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Women who put all of their self-esteem into their relationships with men can be difficult friends to have. When someone is too caught up in finding love, they will miss out on other things life has to offer. When a woman is constantly saying things like, "He doesn’t like me," she is seeking validation from you. They need the confidence boost of having someone else say things like, "He does!"
You want to be there for your friends and boost them up when they need it. However, being the one to convince them that the guy they’re dating likes them seems unfair. It’s not only her friends who deal with this phrase. She is likely always asking the man if he likes her, too. It’s frustrating and draining. No one wants to be the one having to convince someone else that their relationship is secure.
8. ‘Everyone is out to get me’
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Although it can feel like it at times, the universe isn’t out to get anyone. When someone has a victim mentality, it can be difficult to spend time with them. A woman who constantly claims that everyone is out to get her needs reassurance from those around her. It isn't easy to give it to them because you know the world isn’t out to get them. How do you explain that to them? It’s a phrase that always gets repeated because she is never secure enough, no matter how much you try to reassure her.
This can come down to an issue of trust. “When we feel suspicious of people and as though we need to always have our guard up, we are living from a place of mistrust. Trust is formed — or not formed — in our earliest relationships. That’s because, as children, we are at our most vulnerable. We are almost entirely reliant on adults as children, and without an alternative, we place our trust in their hands,” says My Online Therapy.
9. ‘Why is this happening to me?’
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Life is difficult, there’s no denying it. We all face challenges we don’t think we will come out of. We have to work hard to pick ourselves back up. When a woman is constantly saying, "Why is this happening to me?" She is convinced everything unfolding in her life is worse than anything anyone else has experienced. We know that’s not the case, so it can become exhausting to hear this phrase every time something goes wrong for her.
Of course, when someone you care about is going through a tough time, you want to be there for them. Showing up and supporting a woman who is struggling is important. However, when they think everything is the end of the world, they will require more effort from their loved ones. Whether it’s their partner, best friend, or parent, they will grow exhausted of hearing this phrase. They want to help, but it can be discouraging to hear them say things like this. It's also disheartening to hear them blame everything but themselves for the troubles they're enduring. Failing to take accountability can make someone a bad friend or partner.
10. ‘No offense’
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We’ve all heard someone say something totally offensive, but they add, ‘no offense,’ to the end in hopes of hiding their true intentions. Of course, we know their true intention was to be offensive. Adding that phrase at the end doesn’t take away the sting behind their words. If someone you care about is constantly saying offensive things but playing it off like that wasn’t their intention, you will grow tired of them. A woman who says things like this is exhausting to be around.
“Saying these prefaces makes almost any comment even crueler. They put a damper on just about everyone’s day when we interact with the bluntness of someone’s snarky remark. Removing anything from our vocabulary is tough, hard, and a lot of work,” says Langan Garrett, a writer for the Phillipian. “But for everyone’s self-esteem, and to maintain relationships with others — we need to find other ways to speak to each other honestly. Ways that aren’t harmful, and then also follow-up with a reasoning for such opinions.”
11. ‘You wouldn’t understand’
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When a woman is going through a tough time, she may convince herself that no one else would understand what she has been through. The people in her life want to be there for her. When they are shut down by her constantly saying, "You wouldn’t understand," it becomes exhausting.
Chances are, their loved ones do understand, but they are being shut down. Even if they do not understand, they still want to show up for her. A woman who claims no one would understand what she’s going through will push away even their most loyal friends and family.
"You wouldn’t understand" is an exhausting phrase for a woman to constantly repeat because it makes it sound as though she is going through the worst possible situation. Everyone struggles. When you truly care about someone, you are able to put yourself in their shoes and feel empathy for them. It’s exhausting to be told you don’t understand when you do, and if you don’t, you still make an effort.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
