11 Things Smart Women Stop Caring About As Soon As They Turn 50
Once a woman hits 50, she's no longer concerned about many of the things that she was when she was younger.
voronaman / Shutterrstock Reaching the age of 50 can feel like quite a big deal. It's an age when many people begin to realize how short, yet beautiful, life can be. For women especially, it's an age when they begin to reclaim the parts of their lives that they might've stifled when they were younger. They suddenly feel an immense sense of clarity regarding the choices they're making, and as a result, there are several things that smart women stop caring about as soon as they turn 50.
When they were younger, it was easy to get caught up in trying to please everyone and seek approval from those around them. However, once a woman turns 50, she no longer cares as much about how other people view her, nor is she concerned about trying to fit into any box. She quickly realizes just how exhausting it is to live that way. The milestone of turning 50 allows her to live honestly. Not that she wasn't doing so before, but it's now about directing her energy towards people and moments that truly matter and letting the rest slide off her back.
Here are 11 things smart women stop caring about as soon as they turn 50
1. Trying to make toxic relationships work
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When you're younger, maybe in your 20s, toxic relationships can feel exciting in some moments, but over time, they quickly start to drain your energy and make you question everything about yourself. While women might've been willing to put up with them and maybe even fight for that person, once they turn 50, they simply have zero time for relationships that no longer serve them.
"Many people in toxic relationships say they don’t recognize themselves and they feel crazy, and they can start to blame themselves for the toxicity in the relationship. This confusion and emotional turmoil can lead to burnout and emotional exhaustion, making it difficult to function in daily life," explained clinical psychologists Chandra Khalifian and Kayla Knopp.
Smart women know that walking away from a toxic person or relationship doesn't mean that you don't love them or that you didn't cherish the time spent together, but it just means that you love yourself enough to finally start protecting your own heart. By 50, women know that they can't keep depleting their own mental health for the sake of someone else. They've lived a life and know that nothing is more precious than putting yourself first.
2. The need to please everyone
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Young women are often conditioned to care immensely about being someone that not only everyone likes but also approves of. These outdated expectations have a way of forcing women to bend over backward and do the most to make sure they're the most well-liked person in the room. However, once a woman turns 50, she realizes that nothing good comes from being a chronic people-pleaser. It's also impossible to please every single person you meet in the same way that it's impossible to be liked by every single person, too.
"People-pleasing behavior can lead to mental and physical health," pointed out clinical psychologist Jennifer Guttman. "It can result in weak boundaries, problems with decision-making, low self-worth, dependency, and low competence."
They realize that their energy is being consistently drained when they put their own happiness on the back burner. Pleasing everyone might seem like a good thing at first, but in reality, it just leaves them feeling exhausted and invisible. Often, it's about pretending to be someone you're not rather than showing all of yourself.
3. Chasing the 'perfect' body
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There's simply no such thing as a perfect anything. For too many years, women have been subjected to what it means to have the "perfect body." Whether it means trying to become as skinny as possible or having curves in "all the right places," it becomes a lifelong game of constant comparison, which is, to say the least, exhausting.
"The idea of a 'perfect body' is a myth. Online media perpetuates it and has been linked to body dissatisfaction and eating disorders. We can take essential steps to lessen the impact of this harmful misconception," insisted psychologist Cris E. Haltom.
Once a woman reaches 50, she quickly realizes that as long as she's healthy and happy in her body, that's all that should matter anyway. She might've spent years trying to look like every single Victoria's Secret model, but now she's perfectly content in the body she's living in. There's a sense of strength in realizing that you're so much more than just your body.
4. Being afraid of speaking up
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By the time a woman hits 50, she's smart enough to know that trying to keep her mouth shut just to keep the peace is useless. Holding back one's voice only leads to missed opportunities to be heard, especially when it's something that one feels passionate about. Years of experience when they were younger, where they might've bit their tongue, taught them that they were just bulldozed over and not respected.
"Speaking up can significantly impact our happiness by fostering self-determination and fair treatment, and by helping us maintain healthy and respectful relationships with others. We define social assertiveness as directly expressing what we want and how we feel, without the intent of dominating other people," explained psychologist Naoki Yoshinaga and youth advocate Scott Cooper.
Staying silent never protects anyone either. By speaking up now that they've turned 50, they find that it becomes easier with each subsequent attempt. Each time they choose to assert themselves, they're reinforcing the idea to both themselves and the people around them that their opinions matter just as much as theirs do.
5. Fearing change
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By the time most women reach 50, they realize that it's absurd to be as fearful of change as they might've once been. Because they lived for this amount of years and have definitely been through a plethora of changes in their life, some good, some bad, they've come to appreciate the seasons of new beginnings. They know that through change, they really start to learn more about themselves. Change is inevitable as well.
"Seeking out transformation doesn’t always mean we are unhappy with who we are or that we are ungrateful for what we have; rather, it is an acknowledgment that life can feel stagnant without growth. We can recognize when we want to show up differently or that there’s more out there for us, even if we’re not sure exactly what that looks like yet," pointed out wellness expert Robyne Hanley-Dafoe.
Plus, there's no reason why anyone should want to stay the same and do the same routine forever. It's not sustainable. No matter how much you try to plan or prepare, life rarely ever turns out the way you expected it to. That's why it's best to adapt and enjoy the ride. It means you're way more prepared to face uncertainty rather than running away from it.
6. Being embarrassed by mistakes
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Mistakes might have once felt like the end of the world for women when they were younger. They didn't want the embarrassment that would fill their bodies knowing that other people saw them stumble and mess up. It might've replayed in their mind for weeks on end. But once a woman turns 50, she realizes that there is nothing embarrassing about making a mistake at all.
Mistakes are usually an opportunity for you to do better the next time, and every time we fail, it means we're learning something valuable to take with us moving forward. We simply can't grow or improve without falling on our faces every once in a while. Now, when a woman makes a mistake, she'll laugh it off and move on with her life. She's no longer dwelling.
7. Being the center of attention
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For many women, their younger years were spent trying to always have the spotlight on them whenever they were going out. They might've felt like it was a necessity, or maybe even this pressure to always be performing and on 10. By the time women hit 50, though, the thought of needing to be the center of attention at every gathering already tires them out. Life feels a lot lighter when they can just be themselves without needing to have all eyes on them.
It goes hand in hand with their refusal to seek approval and please others. They're simply going to walk into a room and mingle with people by showing them their true personality, rather than putting on a fake persona. By letting go of that need for constant attention, women can have more time to focus on the things in their lives that actually matter.
8. Feeling responsible for everyone else's happiness
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A lot of women often feel this pressure to always take care of other people. They will bend over backward to make sure others are comfortable and happy. But, once a woman turns 50, it's not that she completely doesn't care anymore about whether the people in her life are happy, but that she's done with stressing herself out over it.
She realizes that another person's mood should not weigh her down and detract from her own happiness. She'll be there for someone if they're struggling and try to come up with solutions to help, but she won't lie awake at night anymore feeling stressed about someone else's feelings. It's not her job to fix them anyway.
9. Competing with younger generations
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As soon as a woman hits 50, she has zero time to think about how she compares to younger women. Her own experiences and wisdom will always be way more valuable than trying to keep up with someone who's years younger and still has just as much to learn.
Constantly comparing herself is just draining anyway, and attempting to even slide into the same lifestyle that a younger woman is living will lead to feeling frustrated and insecure. Their strength comes with age, and aging is such a beautiful thing. Being able to embrace all the life experiences they've lived through is more rewarding than fitting into a box that's way too small.
10. Guilt about downtime
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Rest is something that makes everything feel better. After having lived for 50 years, women now know that they need their rest and recharge in order to stay productive and, above all else, happy. And it doesn't have to look extravagant either. Women don't have to spend hundreds on spa retreats or vacations.
"Just as athletes build recovery time into their schedules to perform at their best, high-performing professionals need time to rest and recover, too. Doing 'nothing' isn’t actually nothing—it's giving yourself the space to tend to your mental, emotional, and physical well-being," encouraged wellness expert Robyne Hanley-Dafoe.
It could be something as simple as having a slow morning with a book or going on a long walk. What's important is making sure they take moments to pause and reflect. They're no longer subscribing to this hustle culture of needing to do everything and anything all at once. Smart women know there's value in just slowing down and enjoying the ride.
11. Shame about their past
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Many women feel pressure to shed the person they used to be in their past. They might say quite self-deprecating things about their younger self, rather than being able to give themselves a bit of grace. But by the time they hit 50, smart women know that they wouldn't be where they are in life without the journey their younger self took.
The mistakes they made, the leaps of faith they took, even the relationships that they found themselves in that might not have been healthy at the time, but taught them so much about themselves. All the things we did have led us here, to this moment. It doesn't do anything to try to erase the past or feel shame either. By choosing to accept those moments, women can free themselves from ruminating over the things that went wrong.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
