People Can Tell You're Living A Hard Life If You Say These 11 Things Too Often
What a person says can provide others with insight into the hardships of their life.
Stock Unit / Shutterstock People may be able to tell if someone is living a hard life purely from the things that they often say. When someone is struggling, they may feel the need to handle everything on their own, which can lead to feeling overwhelmed by their experiences. This will often show up in the things they say.
As ways of coping, they will respond in ways that prevent them from becoming a burden to those around them, and they will attempt to make it seem like they have everything figured out on their own rather than express how they are truly feeling. However, there is only so long that a person can get by living like this, and they may eventually reach a breaking point where they finally rely on someone else’s help.
People can tell you're living a hard life if you say these 11 things too often
1. 'I'm fine, I'm used to it'
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When someone has been living a hard life, they may commonly say, “I’m fine, I’m used to it,” in response to any inconveniences that arise. These individuals respond in this manner out of fear of being a burden or a belief that all things must be dealt with on their own.
In an attempt to protect others from facing the same uneasy emotions, these people will brush off certain things and feel as though they cannot express their true feelings regarding the situation. They may fear that if they were to be honest about their hardships and feelings, people would choose to no longer be a part of their lives, explains Michael J. Gargano, a psychotherapist.
2. 'I don't want to be a burden to anyone'
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Many people who are living hard lives typically will never confide in others that they are struggling as deeply as they are. While they will avoid expressing their hardships, they may often say that they do not want to be a burden to anyone.
Going through difficult times is all a part of being a human. When things like this are impacting our lives, it may be hard not to isolate ourselves and suppress our feelings, but by doing so, we are limiting ourselves and our lives. Susi Ferrarello, a philosophical counselor, mentions that, “Putting ourselves in a position of emotional self-containment closes the door to what it means to be human — to yourself and others. In fact, in doing so, we prevent ourselves from bonding with others, feeling empathy, touching our own enthusiasm, and experiencing a number of feelings that help keep us alive.”
3. 'I'm not sure who I can trust'
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When someone has been living a hard life, past experiences may make it difficult for them to really rely and trust certain people. Due to this, others may hear them say that they are not sure who they can trust.
What a person experienced socially while growing up can greatly impact them when they get older. Kendra Cherry, a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, explains, “Throughout our lives, our interpersonal and social experiences affect the trust we place in others. Being bullied or experiencing social rejection as a child can both contribute to trust issues. If those around us repeatedly hurt us, it may be difficult to trust anyone as an adult because of the fear that we'll be hurt again.”
4. 'That's just how it is'
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If someone is living a hard life and has been for a while, they may say “that’s just how it is” often. This may be their attempt to accept the difficult situations that they are experiencing. When they feel as though they have lost control over their situation, they will feel that there is no other thing they can do but accept the reality of their situation.
Accepting what cannot be controlled is a good first step toward healing from hardships. However, it is important to still focus on things that can be changed, like the way they feel or behave in response to struggles.
“Accepting that life is unpredictable and, at times, out of control allows us to move forward. Otherwise, we keep fighting hopelessly against reality. We remain caught up in the suffering and struggle of trying to control, fix, and change things we can’t control, fix, and change,” explains Sharon Martin, a psychotherapist who helps individuals struggling with mental illness, family problems, and more.
5. 'I don't really need help'
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People who are experiencing a hard life will often say to others that they do not really need help with certain things. In an attempt to not be a burden to others and maintain their sense of pride, they will try to handle everything on their own, even when it is too much to handle.
The Jed Foundation, a team that works to protect the mental health of teens and young adults, suggests that a person who claims they do not need help while going through something hard “might be ashamed that they’re struggling, or see reaching out for help as a sign of weakness.”
It's important to express to someone struggling that there is strength and bravery in opening up about their hardships and asking for help.
6. 'I've learned not to expect much from people
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If someone has been living a hard life and they have experienced people disappointing them before, they will likely say that they do not expect much from people. Experiencing disappointment time and time again will start making them feel like they need to protect themselves from other people.
While already dealing with struggles in their own lives, the last thing they want to also have to cope with is the disappointment others may cause them to feel. If they expect less of people, they may have more energy to deal with other aspects of their lives.
7. 'I don't have the energy to deal with this right now'
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When someone is having a difficult time, they are likely to be emotionally and physically drained from the stress and pain that the situation is causing them. These overwhelming feelings will usually cause them to say that they do not have the energy to deal with other problems at a certain moment.
HelpGuide, a nonprofit website that works to improve the mental health of individuals, explains, “Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. It occurs when you feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unable to meet constant demands.”
When someone feels burnout due to the hardships in their life, they will lose the motivation to handle other things unrelated to those struggles.
8. 'I just need to keep going, no matter what'
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Constantly experiencing a hard life may cause a person to often say that no matter what, they just need to keep going. This resilient mindset builds as a result of having to constantly overcome struggles and manage how challenges have made them feel.
Struggles do not tear everybody down. There are some people who will not allow their hardships to define what they are or are not capable of. They may understand that the bad times will not last forever, and the plans and goals they have for the future are still accessible to them if they keep pushing through.
9. 'I can't remember the last time I was truly happy'
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If someone is in the midst of a hard life, they may have trouble recalling positive memories or even focusing on the more uplifting things happening in the present. This may cause them to say that they cannot remember the last time they were truly happy.
Hard times can cause someone to experience an overwhelming amount of negative emotions. When they ignore these emotions, it only causes them to continue to build and build until they become way too much for that person to handle. This can make it very difficult for a person to make room to feel happiness when they feel overly consumed by negative feelings instead.
10. 'I can't afford to be upset about that'
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Someone who has a hard life will often say that they cannot afford to be upset about something other than the main issue at hand. All of their energy is being put into their hardships, so they feel like they have no time to emotionally process the emotions their struggle evokes.
They may feel like dealing with their emotions would require too much energy that has to go towards things they need to deal with in order to continue surviving. While in survival mode, the last thing they are considering is healthily coping with their feelings.
11. 'I'm not sure I can do this anymore'
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When someone is living a hard life, most people can tell because they will often say, “I’m not sure I can do this anymore.” When the feelings and struggles start to become too overwhelming, a person may reach a breaking point.
By saying this, it may be their way of finally wanting to express how they have been feeling and get help from friends, family, or a professional. It is important to be a safe place for someone to feel comfortable opening up about their struggles. Having to deal with everything can often be too much to handle, so having a support system can be very beneficial for them.
Kamryn Idol is a writer with a bachelor's degree in media and journalism who covers lifestyle, relationship, family, and wellness topics.
