11 Unescapable Realities Of Life You Never Expect As A Kid But Hit Hard As An Adult

Growing up, it seemed like adults had everything figured out. I know I couldn’t wait to grow up and have the freedom I thought came with age. Gone would be parents controlling your every move. I thought everything would be peachy-keen. Unfortunately, being an adult isn’t everything it’s cracked up to be. Having ‘freedom’ isn’t all fun and games. There are bills that need to be paid, people who need to be taken care of, and a household that needs to be maintained.

Things that were once exciting to experience no longer have the glow it used to. “We look forward to the day when our parents are no longer in control of our lives, where we can be our own person and do whatever we want to do,” says writer Lindsey Carson. “But the funny thing is, once we’re actually allowed to do all of that stuff, it’s suddenly not as exciting anymore. It loses its appeal because all of those things sort of just become a part of our lives.” Growing up isn’t as cool as we thought it would be when we were kids, and the unescapable realities of life hit hard.

These are 11 unescapable realities of life you never expect as a kid but hit hard as an adult:

1. Relationships take way more effort than you expect

couple talks about how one of the unescapable realities of life takes way more effort than they expected PeopleImages | Getty Images Signature

Growing up, it seemed like maintaining relationships was so easy. Although I was a child of divorce, most of the kids I grew up with, along with my other family members, were in happy relationships. It seemed as if you tried hard enough, you could make a partnership work with ease. Now that I am an adult, I see the truth behind this concept.

Relationships are so hard. We know how difficult romantic partnerships can be as we get older, but I never thought about all the other relationships I would have to maintain. From getting along with coworkers, to forming rapport with people you see often at the grocery stores and coffee shops you frequent, we are constantly interacting with others. When you’re a kid, it’s easy to blow everyone off when you’re having a bad day. Growing up means that you have to bring something positive to the table every day, even on those days that are tough to get through. People need one another, but no one warned me how much work went into keeping everyone around me happy.

2. Feeding yourself never ends

woman feels like feeding herself never ends, which is an unescapable reality of life she never expected as a kid that hits hard as an adult nesharm | Getty Images

One thing I feel the need to apologize to my mom about, as I’ve gotten older, is how much I complained about what she made for dinner when I was growing up. Now that I am in charge of cooking for myself, I wish I could go back to the days of my parents providing me with all three of my daily meals. It’s hard to take care of yourself when you also have to maintain a job, keep your relationships going, and take care of the home around you. Sometimes, it’ll come down to me forgetting to eat at all, or spending too much money on delivery because I don’t have the energy to cook after a long day.

Studies have shown that adults spend up to 1,000 hours a year in their kitchens. That amount of time is no joke. Growing up, I had no idea how much time and effort would go into keeping myself fed.

3. Watching your parents age hurts in ways you weren't ready for

woman has a hard time watching her parents age, which is an unescapable reality of life she never expected as a kid that hits hard as an adult Hero Images | Getty Images

When I was a kid, I didn’t put much thought into my parents getting older. It was all about me. I was excited to celebrate my birthday each year, without thinking about how my parents were also celebrating their own aging. Now that I am an adult, each year grows more and more terrifying to me as my parents get older.

Commenters on Reddit discussed what it’s like to watch their parents age. “The mental image I have of my parents is that of 40-somethings with slightly greying hair,” someone wrote. “But every so often, it hits me that my mom now looks like my grandmother used to (old), and my dad's hair hasn’t been grey in decades... It's been white for a while!” Another said, “Oof, yeah. Seeing the spots showing, noticing their skin change in other ways, the hair, the way their posture gives way, the eyes”

4. No one's coming to bail you out

woman knows that an unescapable reality of life she never expected as a kid that hits hard as an adult is that no one is going to bail her out nortonrsx | Getty Images

This is one that specifically hit me hard. Unfortunately, no one is responsible for my own outcomes but me. If I’m sick and I don’t call the doctor because I wish my parents were still able to do it for me, I won’t get the medicine I need to make me better. It’s hard to come to terms with the idea that your parents aren’t able to bail you out when you need it most anymore.

You have to be responsible for yourself. “Responsibility is not something you do—it’s a way of thinking and being. When you’re truly responsible, you believe that success or failure is up to you, even if you work within a team or are blindsided by unforeseen circumstances,” says the American Management Association. “ You own your commitment to a result before the fact, before you even take action.”

5. Not everyone gets a fairytale ending

couple knows that an unescapable reality of life she never expected as a kid that hits hard as an adult is that not everyone gets their fairytale ending Chermiti Mohamed | Pexels

Growing up watching Disney movies gave our generation the false idea that everyone finds a happily ever after. There isn’t always someone waiting on the other side of the rainbow. Even if there is someone out there for you, the time and energy it takes to find them can be frustrating. Many people are left wondering when they will find the love of their life. It isn’t as easy as meeting someone and instantly falling in love.

Even if you find your dream partner, things aren’t always going to work out. As painful as it is, we are living in a time where nearly 50% of all marriages end in divorce. It’s heartbreaking to come to terms with the difficulties that come with finding love. This is an inescapable reality that hits hard as you age.

6. Time speeds up the older you get

woman knows that an unescapable reality of life she never expected as a kid that hits hard as an adult is that time speeds up as she gets older filadendron | Getty Images Signature

Life is moving at a mile a minute. Growing up, it felt like the days and years were longer. The four years it takes to go through high school felt like nearly a century. When you become an adult, the inescapable reality of how quickly time actually moves can feel like a slap in the face.

“As children, we have so many new experiences, and we process a massive amount of perceptual information. Children also have an unfiltered and intense perception of the world, which makes their surroundings appear more vivid. However, as we get older, we have progressively fewer new experiences,” Dr. Steve Taylor penned for Psychology Today. “ Equally importantly, our perception of the world becomes more automatic. We grow progressively desensitized to our surroundings. As a result, we absorb less information gradually, which means that time passes more quickly. Time is less stretched with information.”

7. Friends aren’t always forever

woman knows that an unescapable reality of life she never expected as a kid that hits hard as an adult is that friends aren't always forever Brothers91 | Getty Images Signature

This one especially stings. Kids form such solid bonds when they are growing up. Entire classrooms can become a group of best friends. It’s so much easier to connect at a young age, and we all thought that those friendships would last forever.

Of course, some friendships are forever! My aunt and her best friend met in elementary school and are still inseparable. However, an inescapable reality of growing up is that people grow apart. Sometimes it comes with big, terrible blow-ups, but most of the time, friends will just casually drift apart. As painful as that can be to take in, you grow through each friendship. Some friendships made in adulthood are the strongest you’ll find.

8. The house won't clean itself

woman knows that an unescapable reality of life she never expected as a kid that hits hard as an adult is that the house won't clean itself Valerii Apetroaiei | Getty Images

Sure, technology has advanced to the point where we have robot vacuums, but outside of a good Roomba, the house does not keep itself clean. The dishes are constantly piling up, dust collects on every shelf, and if you have pets, it’s game over: there is pet hair everywhere. The chores you do as a kid do not come close to maintaining an entire household.

It’s hard to keep everything in order when you are also working and caring for a family. Deep cleans become few and far between when the chaos of life sets in. Keeping your home clean comes with many psychological benefits, and everyone would love to have their space in tip-top shape, but life is busy. It can be hard to prioritize cleaning when time is moving so quickly.

9. Life is way more expensive than you thought

couple realizes an unescapable reality of life they never expected as kids that hits hard as adults is that life is way more expensive than they thought shisuka | Shutterstock

I always heard my parents complain about bills when I was growing up, but I didn’t think they were that bad. Boy, was I wrong. I’ll never forget the first time I had to pay rent or make a payment on my car. That first credit card bill sent shivers down my spine.

Not only do we have to pay for a place to live, a car to drive, and everyday bills like electricity and gas, but we also have to support ourselves and our families. Groceries, pet food, home care items, and medications can break the bank. So many of us are living paycheck to paycheck because the expenses of life are an inescapable reality of growing up. Paying the bills each month hits hard as an adult.

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10. There's always something on your to-do list

woman knows that an unescapable reality of life she never expected as a kid that hits hard as an adult is that there is always something on her to-do list Dean Drobot | Shutterstock

Do you remember how fun it was to be a kid? Time was endless. You could spend hours playing in the backyard or making up games with your best friends. Having fun was the main focus, outside of doing our homework, of course. Now that I’m an adult, I need to schedule out my time for myself. If I don’t prioritize it, I won’t get to it, because something always needs to be done. I would rather stay home and get my tasks done than treat myself to an evening out. Life just feels so busy as an adult.

When you take time to relax, do you feel guilt? Is your mind constantly running about what you could be doing instead of taking care of yourself? You are not alone. Gone are the days of focusing only on the things you want to do. Being an adult means always thinking about the tasks at hand.

11. Failure is inevitable

woman knows that an unescapable reality of life she never expected as a kid that hits hard as an adult is that failure is inevitable studioroman | Shutterstock

As kids, we all felt invincible. Everything felt within reach. We were all told by our teachers that the sky was the limit. If we aimed high enough, we could achieve all of our goals. Sadly, that is not true, but with failure comes growth.

Failure is part of life, but it’s how we learn from that failure that matters. You become a better person each time you fall short. While most know that we have to hit a low to succeed, that first taste of failure hits hard as an adult. Whether it’s not getting a job you really wanted or failing a college course, those things stick with you. However, there is also so much room to grow from it. Falling short makes us better.

Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.