If Someone’s Life Is Chaotic And Sad, Their House Will Usually Reveal These 11 Clues
The little things around their house are the biggest giveaways.
True Touch Lifestyle | Shutterstock The way we relax, talk about, and decorate our homes all play a profound role in our mental health, relationships, and well-being, at least according to a study from the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, but it can also be a reflection of how we’re already feeling on the inside. From clutter scattered around to a lack of personality, if someone’s life is chaotic and sad, their house will usually reveal these clues.
Of course, things like cleanliness or the size of a living space can all play a role in influencing someone’s mental health, sometimes for the worst, but even more subtle things like decor, lighting, and general vibes can change based on how someone feels on the inside. Our lives, homes, and relationships are often a reflection of how we feel internally, so don’t overlook these subtle clues the next time you’re a visitor in someone else’s space.
If someone’s life is chaotic and sad, their house will usually reveal these 11 clues:
1. There are coffee cups everywhere
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Whether it’s piles of unwashed mugs in the sink or empty take-out coffee cups lingering around the house, if someone’s life is chaotic and sad, their house will usually reveal these clues. Clearly, they’re relying on caffeine to get through the day, and may not even have the time to come home and take care of the evidence.
Of course, a healthy amount of caffeine can benefit productivity levels throughout the day, according to a study from the Human Psychopharmacology journal, but overconsuming it — especially to cope with a lack of sleep or true rest — only sets people up for mental health struggles and energetic drains.
2. They use a full calendar
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Many people who consistently overschedule themselves are people-pleasers at heart, or at least have perfectionist tendencies that urge them to give “their all” to work, personal relationships, and social obligations, even at the expense of their well-being.
A full calendar or a laundry list of things on their to-do list could be little clues that their life is chaotic at home, but the general vibe they’re giving off is probably more obvious. They’re not only drained, they’re avoiding alone time, and putting a ton of pressure on themselves to do it all.
3. Their work stuff is scattered in every room
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When a person is living a chaotic and sad life, their work could be their distraction from emotional turmoil, but the pressure of doing well or handling an overwhelming workload could also be adding stress to their lives.
Whether it’s spending long hours at the office or bringing work home, if someone’s life is overwhelmingly busy and chaotic, their house will usually reveal these 11 clues.
Even though bringing responsibilities home and texting peers on the weekends are related to a person’s devotion to work, that doesn’t mean they’re protecting themselves from the tension, stress, and drain that often comes from overworking themselves.
4. Their bedroom is bare
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If someone’s life is chaotic and sad, their house will usually have spaces for rest, but it’s not the comfortable and safe bedroom vibe that a truly energized and happy person has. In fact, their bedroom or living room is a place to crash after a long day, not a space for relaxation and unwinding.
Not only does it often lack personality and signs of comfort, but small things like a bad mattress or a phone charger next to the bed could be signs that they’re also not getting the true rest and sleep they need to thrive during the day.
5. A TV is always playing in the background
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According to a study from The Gerontologist, many people coping with social isolation and loneliness use background TV noise and mindless entertainment to cope, especially as they get older. So, if there are screens in every single room or a constant stream of background noise lingering when you come over, those could be clues that someone is living a chaotic, sad, and lonely life.
Of course, screen time and mindless entertainment on their own can give people a fleeting sense of relief after a long or stressful day, but overusing them for coping, instead of leaning on active habits and support, only keeps them stuck in a cycle of dysregulation.
6. The lights are always on
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For people who feel lonely or sad when they come home, leaving the lights on can provide an aura of warmth, comfort, and security, even at the expense of their electric bill at the end of the month.
If someone’s life is chaotic and sad, their house will usually reveal these clues — they always have every overhead light on, even when someone is at their house, they’re going to bed, or they’re not in the room.
7. There are unfinished projects everywhere
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Someone who doesn’t have time to get enough sleep or do their chores on a daily basis is going to have a slew of unfinished projects around their house. Maybe they had time to start that appliance repair or go through their closet over the weekend, but now the remnants of a half-finished job are impossible to miss.
Even their decor and aesthetic touches feel half-finished, making their living space feel cluttered and uncomfortable, not only for the person living there but also for their guests.
8. Their closet is chaotic
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Just like a person’s car or their junk drawer in the kitchen, a person’s closet can be an insider peek into how they’re feeling internally. If there’s “goal clothes” hanging right in front of them, scattered laundry all over the floor, or general chaos that’s impossible for them to navigate every time they get dressed, of course, they’re going to start the day off on the wrong foot.
Our mornings set the tone for our days, and by default, our lives. So, if we’re seeing chaos from the second we get up to the minute we leave the house, of course, we’re going to have a more negative mindset and a slew of mental chaos.
9. Their couch is their second office
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Not only is working from the couch or from bed more demanding and tiring for your physical body, but it also often tricks our brains into thinking our homes are made for productivity all the time. If we’re working and stressing ourselves out from the couch, the minute we close our laptops and switch to personal time, we’re still under that state of pressure, distress, and anxiety.
It’s hard to shut our minds off at night and prepare our bodies for sleep if our brain believes that our bed is a second office. So, if someone’s life is chaotic and sad, chances are their “second office” space at home can be a simple clue.
10. There are only take-out boxes, not groceries
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Of course, eating out of the house and overusing the convenience of take-out can both have harmful effects on physical health, according to a study from the Journal of the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics, but sometimes, for people with little time, it feels like the only option.
They’re running around all the time and don’t believe they have time to cook, so they eat tons of processed and fast foods, even if it drains their energy to another degree. So, if you notice someone isn’t cooking for themselves or even buying groceries, but instead eating consistently at restaurants or through drive-thrus, chances are they’re living a sad and chaotic life.
11. It’s clear they don’t have hobbies or daily rituals
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Hobbies are generally tied to well-being and happiness in our lives, which is why it’s so important that we make time and space to indulge them, even if we’re living a chaotic and busy life.
If you notice that someone doesn’t have any kind of personal hobbies or activities lying around at home, whether that’s a music instrument, art supplies, or a puzzle on the table, chances are their lives feel chaotic and sad, and the absence of these things is the clue.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
