If A Parent Truly Loves You From The Depths Of Their Soul, They Will Do These 8 Things On A Regular Basis
Loving parents show kids how to grow into the world.
Yan Krukau | Unsplash When a parent lets a child explore and make mistakes, that is deep love in action. Deeply loving parents connect with compassion for their child to enhance their individual spirit and give support when the child fails or needs guidance.
Deeply loving parent also model how to leverage the tools of growth so their child can eventually carve their own path in the world. It's this deep kind of love that goes beyond biology — the kind that's felt in your bones, not just spoken out loud, but shown consistently every single day.
If a parent truly loves you from the depths of their soul, they will do these 8 things on a regular basis:
1. Give you freedom to explore
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Divorce attorney Jennifer Hargrave says parents who deeply love you will give you the freedom to explore, break rules (within reason), and express yourself, even if it means your decisions make them uncomfortable.
Likewise, a child who has this freedom needs to honor and respect that their decisions may be difficult for their parents. But knowing we don't have to agree on everything, and both the child and the parent have the freedom to be themselves, with a sense of respect for the other, is the foundation of a beautiful relationship.
2. Honor your uniqueness
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A parent who loves you from the depths of their soul honors what is unique and valuable for you rather than imposing their own wishes, however seemingly safer or superior, explains career and life consultant Ruth Schimel, Ph.D.
"I was amazingly lucky as an unexpected only child to be given full rein and reign by my mother and father. Though their values, embodied in the golden rule, were lived examples, I never felt that I was expected to embrace their lifestyle or choices, beyond living up to my potential by doing homework well.
"In fact, I sometimes felt they enjoyed sharing my adventures beyond their more conventional lives, such as choosing an international career for my first career. An example of melding their attention to their values and encouraging mine was traveling to see me on an inexpensive freighter with 10 passengers."
3. Listen to you — and not just superficially
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When it comes to listening to your kids, social worker and therapist Chamin Ajjan does not mean fake listening by bobbing their head up and down while you multitask. Deeply loving parents take the time to put down their smartphone, turn off the TV, step away from the computer, take a mindful moment, let go of whatever is taking up mental space, and pay attention to their kids.
Just like adults, kids have a lot of thoughts throughout the day. Unlike some adults, they may not have the skills to ask you to focus on them and what they are saying. Make it your mission to tune in to what your kids are saying throughout the day. Your unwavering attention will not go unnoticed.
4. Have your back
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Therapist Dr. Gloria Brame says that parents who love their children from the depths of their souls always have their backs. They are the first to defend their child, regardless of the situation. Of course, the worst of them can be toxic, insisting their special spawn have no flaws. But the best of them are more philosophical, even mature. They accept that sometimes their kids will screw up. They will quietly teach their child to do better and help them apologize to someone they've wronged. It's a very healthy process for kids.
What counts is that they stand up for their kids instinctively. It teaches their youngsters that they deserve loyalty and protection. It creates a beautiful bond between generations, bonds that may last a lifetime.
5. Create a peaceful connection
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Life coach Susan Allan realizes children know if they are deeply loved by observing the quality of peaceful connection their parents offer. The frequency of being told they are loved and the trustworthiness of their parents are part of the peaceful connection.
The ability for a parent to take on a child's goal and support them in reaching it shows their deep love. As well as creating a series of teachable moments from the goal is another incredibly valuable skill that tells children that they are loved.
6. Model how to embrace change and grow from it
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As our children are growing up, they are constantly bombarded with changes in their environment and in themselves, points out couples counselor Larry Michel. They seek answers and conditions that allow them to embrace the changes without feeling diminished and lost. As parents, we must be willing to go there with them without judgment, resentment, or shame — theirs or ours.
If our children don’t feel like we can truly see who they are and who they are becoming, then they will not feel or believe in our love, no matter what we say. They will not confide in us if we are unaccepting or overly controlling. But, if we allow ourselves to witness and embrace their experiences, vulnerabilities, and transformations with transparency, care, concern, and genuine support, they will know they are loved because they will love themselves.
7. Allow you to do things for yourself
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Couples therapist Lianne Avila says that allowing for autonomy will give your children a sense of independence. I know this is hard sometimes, but it helps teach them that making mistakes is alright.
Think back to the first time you successfully made cookies or candy. Maybe it took a few times to get it right. But, in the end, you felt good. This is the feeling you want your child to have. It will help them as they get older to try new things.
Encouraging children to take on age-appropriate tasks, like getting dressed, preparing snacks, or completing homework independently, helps them develop a sense of self-sufficiency. One study explained that offering choices within appropriate boundaries helps children learn to make decisions and understand the consequences of their actions.
8. Know when to let go
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A parent who loves you from the depths of their soul allows you to be your own person, adds astrologer Aria Gmitter. As parents, our identity can easily become entangled with what we imagine a child ought to be. From the moment a pregnancy is carried to completion, parents begin envisioning who that child will become.
They watch their child grow, seeing all the good and even the flaws as worthy of love. But when independence takes root, the instinct to hold on and protect intensifies. With time, new birthing pangs arrive — not the ones that bring life into the world, but the ones that release life into it.
These are the pangs of letting go. One day, that moment comes. The child excludes the parent from something once shared, not out of anger or rejection, but because it’s the final act of maturity. It’s the quiet cutting of the emotional umbilical cord.
If love runs deep, the parent knows this is sacred. They weep as they release, because their tears carry both grief and blessing. The child must know it’s OK to live life without them. It’s OK to choose happiness, to claim autonomy — even when it means loosening the bond that once defined everything. That is love from the depths of the soul.
Will Curtis is YourTango's expert editor. Will has over 14 years of experience as an editor covering relationships, spirituality, and human interest topics.
