11 Things A Good Man Does For The Person He Loves That Usually Get Ignored Until He Stops
A good man often puts his partner’s needs above his own.
Tint Media / Shutterstock Men and women tend to show and express their love in uniquely different formats in their relationships, according to a study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, sometimes in ways that are overlooked by their spouses. From initiating physical affection to remembering the little things, there are many things a good man does for the person he loves that usually get ignored until he stops.
Not all of them are inherently gendered or signs that his partner is taking advantage, but they can be representative of a greater disconnect in the relationship. If you’re not appreciating, reciprocating, or thanking your partner for showing up consistently or putting their own needs momentarily to the side, isn’t that technically a one-sided dynamic?
Here are 11 things a good man does for the person he loves that usually get ignored until he stops
1. He checks in randomly
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Midday text messages like “How’s your day?” and random phone calls to check in are some of the things a good man does for the person he loves that usually get ignored until he stops. They’re an intentional expression of love – a reminder that even amid the chaos of life and responsibilities, they’re still thinking about their partner’s well-being.
While there’s a formula for in-person conversations and check-ins within a relationship, these small moments are just as important and impactful, especially when they’re met with appreciation and reciprocity.
2. He takes care of the things his partner forgets
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Whether it’s taking care of chores around the house, running errands, or going to appointments to free up their spouse’s schedule, a good man tends to take care of things, even if it adds more stress onto his plate. He takes care of things when his partner forgets and makes an effort to make her life easier, even if he gets ignored until it stops completely.
Even though he generally does these things without wanting or expecting any recognition in return, it can be subtly draining and subconsciously exhausting to put someone first without the same kind of support or unconditional love in return.
3. He gives random gifts
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Simple, thoughtful gestures and gifts are often more powerful than couples give them credit for. Even little compliments, random presents, and meals can promote stability in a relationship when a partner makes an effort to remember the little things.
However, if a good man is the only person putting effort into showing affection or appreciation, chances are, they’ll be quickly drained by this kind of one-sided relationship dynamic.
4. He supports his partner’s dreams without bounds
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Supporting his partner’s dreams, even when that effort isn’t reciprocated, is one of the things a good man does for the person he loves that usually gets ignored until he stops. Even things like taking over household labor, bringing in extra money, or offering emotional support can seem subtle in passing moments, but truly make a difference in shaping a safe foundation for their spouse to seek out their dreams.
Even if it means his own dreams are overlooked for the time being, he does it. Of course, even if they don’t notice the effort at the time, the second a partner stops offering unconditional support is also the same time their spouse realizes chasing dreams on their own is wildly more difficult.
5. He works twice as hard for his partner
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Even if he doesn’t get any credit for it, a good woman sometimes works twice as hard for the person he loves – putting his own energy, time, and well-being to the side for theirs. Even if it means pushing himself closer and closer to burnout, he’s willing to do it.
However, when he does reach that breaking point and is no longer able to provide this same kind of instant comfort and gratification to his partner, that’s when they typically notice what they’ve been taking for granted.
6. He pretends he’s fine for his partner’s comfort
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Pretending that he’s fine to protect the peace is one of the things a good man does for the person he loves that usually gets ignored until he stops. They don’t want their partners to worry or feel burdened by their struggles, even if that means they’ll eventually grow drained, exhausted, and disconnected.
Even if it’s uncomfortable and difficult to be honest, it will always be healthier and more powerful in relationships than emotional suppression and avoidance.
7. He makes sacrifices
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Even though there are many compromises you should never make in a relationship, a good man with the best intentions often makes sacrifices at his own expense for the person he loves. From friendships to personal hobbies, and even their own sleep, they’re willing to put their best interests aside to sacrifice things for their partner’s comfort.
They love in silence, never expecting anything in return, and often get taken advantage of because of it, until their partner realizes what they’re missing when he’s gone.
8. He keeps his negativity to himself
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Suppressing complex emotions and people-pleasing with a partner at home can be incredibly harmful to a relationship and personal well-being, yet they’re some of the things a good man does for the person he loves that usually get ignored until he stops. Even if it’s coming home after a hard day at work, feeling exhausted, and still showing up for their partner in whatever way they need, they’re always willing to keep negativity inside for the sake of “keeping the peace” at home.
If this sounds like your partner, don’t be afraid to work at breaking down those emotional walls. Remind him that vulnerability, emotional expression, and openness will only bond the two of you closer together, rather than praising him blindly for “strength” that’s tearing him up on the inside.
9. He accepts being misunderstood
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Even though accepting feelings of being misunderstood often comes at the expense of their own well-being, it’s one of the things a good man does for the person he loves that usually gets ignored until he stops. Whether it’s keeping concerns to himself, backing down from arguments, or offering apologies even when he’s done nothing wrong, this chronic feeling of being misunderstood has incredibly negative impacts on mental health and relationship longevity.
Of course, that’s part of the reason why stopping these kinds of practices is inevitable. They can’t handle the isolation and disconnection that being chronically misunderstood by a partner sparks.
10. He plans everything with his partner at the center
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Even when his partner doesn’t recognize that he’s going out of his way to put them first, they’re the first ones to notice when things shift. Whether it’s planning for the future, crafting dates with their interests in mind, or simply making time to come home earlier when they’ve had a bad day, every decision revolves around their happiness, comfort, and well-being.
While this can often cause a one-sided relationship characterized by resentment when it’s not reciprocated, usually it just takes a reminder – like going on a solo trip or planning something he likes – to serve as a wake-up call and reminder.
11. He accepts mistreatment
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A good man often accepts a certain level of mistreatment from the person he loves, giving them grace that they’re not always having the best day. However, this kind of grace and gratitude is typically overlooked, of course, until he decides that it’s time to set boundaries, call out toxic behavior, and advocate for himself.
If he gets to the point where it’s too emotionally exhausting or draining to keep putting his needs to the side, it’s his partner who often notices first. When they’re unable to grapple with not being his only priority and the center of his universe, he’s suddenly “entitled” or “cold” for putting himself first.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
