The Art Of Being Admired: 8 Simple Habits Of Naturally Admired People
Some people just have that "it" factor.
Inside Creative House | Shutterstock Admiration is a great motivator. When we try to make a positive life change or embark on a new journey, it is challenging to get started. If you can get started, keeping at the task can become daunting. You start to feel lonely and convince yourself that you are the only one to have faced such a struggle.
Yet, we are never alone in a struggle. When we perceive the people around us, we find someone to admire. Someone who has made the change we wish to see in ourselves, or someone who has persisted when others would have stopped trying. How do they do it, though? It is like they have an almost artistic style in handling stress and accomplishing goals.
The art of being admired: 8 simple habits of naturally admired people:
1. They give without expecting anything back
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Career and life coach Lisa Petsinis knows that one of the most admirable habits in people is to give without question. They don’t pause to calculate what it might cost them. Instead, they freely offer whatever time, support, resources, or money they have because it feels natural to them.
In times of uncertainty and change, these acts of generosity build trust and deepen relationships. These don’t have to be big or public gestures, either. Often, it’s the small and steady ways that people quietly show up for others that make the most difference.
2. They stay calm, even under pressure
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Peaceful people are admired by everyone, notes Susan Allan, CEO of The Marriage Forum. Peaceful people have figured out their lives. They speak with only positive words instead of complaints and criticisms.
Humans like people who like them. Therefore, the warmer we are, the more friendly we appear, and the faster that strangers can become our friends.
3. They stand out for who they are
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In life, some people are admired for their looks, their status, or their wealth, but the kind of admiration that sustains lifelong romantic and platonic relationships equally rises from the heart. Therapist and author Gloria Brame, Ph.D., explains how it is people's character traits and personality that make other people both notice and deeply cherish them.
They may have a talent which others envy and admire, a clever wit that makes people laugh, a loyalty to their near and dear that never disappoints. Since we are all so variable, there will always be qualities and even quirks that strike us as lovable.
When you classify people into big groups, you may see them as being all the same. But, close up, my experience is that most people have some goodness, some quality that is lovable, or some spirit that can be admired through a loving lens.
For example, a friend who always brings soup or a casserole when you're not feeling well! Or the aunt who never had a bad word to say about anyone, and gave the best hugs. The closer you get to people, the more you realize there is far more to admire in them than you ever realized.
4. They're fully present
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Coach Caroline Hidalgo suggests admired people are people who can be present and fully engaged with someone emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Being with them in a room filled with people makes you feel you are the only one in the room. They can apply this to strangers and loved ones.
In today’s world, we are attached to devices, electronics, and media in every form, so to be present with someone’s soul you are interested in, admire, or love has now become a sacred act we cherish.
It also includes time alone with me, myself and I, to think clearly, reflect, and follow your own inner knowing. Connecting authentically with the ones we choose to spend time with, people who share the same values, is becoming more vital for how we live, the decisions we make, and how we engage with one another. We all want to be around people who make us feel seen, heard, and loved for who we are.
5. They protect their boundaries
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Admired people create good, clear, healthy boundaries, points out coach Loulou Palmer. This is the crucial step to gaining respect and admiration and cultivating healthy interpersonal relationships.
Drawing admirable boundaries requires some attention to balance and approach. A study of the links between moral values and interpersonal orientations showed that relationships are better maintained by establishing boundaries from a perspective of caring as opposed to enforcing boundaries from a position of authority.
6. They learn from mistakes instead of fearing them
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Dr. Susan Heitler reminds us that people were not designed to be perfect. To the contrary, we all make mistakes. No need to sit around beating yourself up after you've made a mistake. Instead, admired people regard errors, large or small, as opportunities for growth.
See others’ mistakes as learning opportunities, as well. After each mistake that you or others have made, say to yourself, "Mistakes are for learning."
Punishing yourself just adds to your misery. Don’t spend too much time or thought on regret, shame, blame, guilt, criticism of yourself, or others. Instead, look back and learn. Then focus on the road ahead, the road of self-acceptance, growth, and well-being.
7. They remember the little things
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Memory is one little habit to make yourself more admired than most people, suggests career & life management consultant Ruth Schimel, Ph.D. Admired people can remember what people's concerns and interests are.
They can address situations with pithy, well-founded information and not give advice unless advice is solicited. To be accurate, they check in to make sure their understanding is current. They use gentle humor as appropriate.
8. They're not afraid to fail in public
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Love Coach Erika Jordan explains that being confident, even when you fail, is an admirable trait. We know confidence is attractive. It might be the most attractive thing about a person, often serving to overcompensate for various shortcomings.
However, we cannot always be confident. A truly intelligent and admirable person realizes they don’t know everything.
Will Curtis is YourTango's expert editor. Will has over 14 years of experience as an editor covering relationships, spirituality, and human interest topics.
