If A Man No Longer Respects His Parents, He'll Start Saying These 11 Things Casually
Why offer respect to people who aren't giving it to them?
fizkes | Shutterstock While many studies, including one from Personal Relationships, argue that respect is the key to building any romantic relationship, it also serves as the foundation of other familial, platonic, and professional connections. When you don't respect someone, value their opinions, or treat them with empathy and consideration, there's little to no relationship to engage in.
Most tension in family relationships, specifically, comes from a lack of boundaries and differing values. When adult children can't express themselves or build a connection with their parents without feeling consistently disrespected, they also lose respect. Whether it's rooted in childhood trauma, overstepped boundaries, or this kind of tension, if a man no longer respects his parents, he'll start saying these things casually, which are clear signs of his tension and disconnection.
If a man no longer respects his parents, he’ll start saying these 11 things casually
1. 'I stopped asking them for advice a long time ago'
Mangostar | Shutterstock
While giving and receiving wanted advice is often associated with greater relationship satisfaction between adult children and parents who already boast a healthy connection, according to a 2020 study, the more disconnected and resentful a relationship becomes, the more likely they are to struggle with advice.
Not only do these adult children, using phrases like "I stopped asking them for advice a long time ago," feel judged and dismissed in the face of their parents' advice — whether it's unsolicited advice or not — they feel overlooked for the sake of solutions.
Sometimes, no matter how old they are, men just want to feel emotionally supported by their parents, rather than forced into a rigid box or given unwanted advice about how to get rid of their emotions entirely.
2. 'They don't get it'
simona pilolla 2 | Shutterstock
With changing social norms, values, and expectations, it's not uncommon for adult children to feel like their parents are "one step behind" in understanding their lifestyle decisions. However, if they consistently judge, criticize, or provide unwarranted advice about them, that could be a deeper sign of disconnection.
Many men feel regularly disrespected and judged by their parents because they made choices that don't align with their family's expectations. Whether it's choosing a specific career or refusing to "settle down," it feels exhausting to always need to show up for their parents when they're not even supported or celebrated themselves.
3. 'I don't owe them anything at this point'
Rawpixel.com | Shutterstock
While you don't necessarily "owe" anyone anything in a relationship simply because you made a mistake or commitment, partners, adult children, parents, and friends have an obligation to show up and support each other. That's the hallmark of a good relationship: being open to change, willing to support others, and consistent.
However, if a man no longer respects his parents and feels regularly worse when he interacts with them, he'll start saying phrases like this casually. No longer does he have an obligation to cultivate a healthy relationship at home, because he's not getting any effort or respect in return.
4. 'They never apologized for anything'
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock
While it's not always completely feasible for adult children and parents to have conversations about childhood trauma with full accountability, genuine apologies, and emotional support, the latter is always an option. If an adult child expresses their disappointment about how a parent handled something, their parents can create a safe space for conversation, even if they don't "agree."
Many adult men lose respect for their parents because they turn down these hard conversations, shifting blame and avoiding accountability entirely. They don't use phrases like "I understand," "I hear you," or "I see where you're coming from," but instead play the victim and invalidate their kids' emotions.
If a man no longer respects his parents because of their chronic victim mentality, he'll start saying things like "they never apologize for anything" or "it's impossible to have a conversation with them" often.
5. 'My family is chosen'
winnievinzence | Shutterstock
When they don't get love, respect, affection, or support from their biological families, many adult children resort to "chosen families" instead — leaning on people with like-minded opinions, experiences, and identities for protection and stability.
While there are several personal reasons why an adult child may need a chosen family over their biological parents, a loss of respect is often one of them. They feel safer, more secure, and respected when they're around people who trust and understand them without expectations.
6. 'They still treat me like a kid'
BongkarnGraphic | Shutterstock
Psychoanalyst Kristen Beesley argues that many adult children experience a kind of self-reinforcing regression later in life, especially when they believe their parents still treat them like a kid. For example, their father may respond or say something that reminds them of their childhood struggles for independence or trauma, so they respond like a child, largely because they can't help themselves.
Even if that seems like a reason for their parents to keep treating them like a child, this kind of regression is often in response to judgment or disrespect from the parents themselves. That's why men who no longer respect their parents use phrases like "they still treat me like a kid" and create distance because they feel worse about themselves and more infantilized when they're at "home."
7. 'I don't care what they think anymore'
fizkes | Shutterstock
According to a Child Development study, many children yearn for their parents' approval early in life, altering their decisions, hobbies, life paths, and behaviors to seek out that specific bond. However, this kind of behavior can be emotionally exhausting over the course of their lives, especially if they're people-pleasing or changing their behavior in inauthentic ways.
While a phrase like "I don't care what they think anymore" is often a sign of lost respect from adult children, it can also be a sign that they've reconnected with themselves. They feel empowered to make their own decisions, regardless of whether or not their parents agree, for the sake of their own health — even if their family relationship suffers.
8. 'I feel more at home when they're not around'
fizkes | Shutterstock
While the majority of children report that their relationships with their parents are good, according to a Pew Research Center study, many adult kids don't feel secure or safe when their parents are around.
Whether it's a misalignment of values, feeling invalidated or judged, or even having their boundaries overstepped consistently in interactions with them, if a man no longer respects his parents, he'll start saying things like "I feel more at home when they're not around" casually and often.
Feeling "at home" or building a safe space isn't always about being around people who have known you the longest, but choosing your "family" that respects, loves, and supports you as you are. Men with parents who don't respect them often refuse to subject themselves to the pain of a one-sided relationship, instead leaning on support from friends and peers.
9. 'They've burned too many bridges with me'
Inside Creative House | Shutterstock
If parents have consistently overstepped boundaries, invalidating their children's identities, and made them feel unworthy of love simply for being themselves, there's a chance their kids often use phrases like "they've burned too many bridges with me" to justify their disconnection.
Many children are estranged from their parents because of this kind of mistreatment. There are so many burned bridges and disrespect that they feel more comfortable, safe, and secure without any contact at all.
10. 'They judge everything I do'
Face Stock | Shutterstock
According to a study from Psychology and Aging, tensions can be quite common in the adult child-parent relationship later in life, especially if they have wildly different opinions, values, and lifestyles. A parent who wants to live vicariously through their child will always judge decisions that don't align with their own expectations, even if it puts their relationship and their child's well-being at risk.
If a man no longer respects his parents, he may be tired of putting up with this judgment. He wants to feel loved in his authentic identity, making his own independent decisions and putting his own interests first, but when he doesn't get that from his parents, phrases like "they judge everything I do" or "nothing is good enough for them" are common.
11. 'They don't deserve to know the real me'
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock
According to a 2023 study, many families in the U.S. use phrases like "honor your parents" to encourage children to be emotionally supportive and responsive with their parents later in life. However, if an adult man doesn't feel like he's getting that same respect and supportiveness in return, simply because he's being his authentic self, there's little motivation for him to "honor them" back.
From feeling like their authenticity and individuality aren't respected at home or being pressured to fit a certain mold around their parents, adult children struggle to maintain a healthy relationship with their parents when they're not accepted and loved without judgment.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
