Men Who Are Afraid Of Losing Their Wives Usually Do These 11 Things Without Being Asked
A loving and devoted husband will go above and beyond to make sure his wife knows she's cherished.
Tanja Nikolaenko | Shutterstock Marriage is all about making sure that the person you've decided to commit to is being valued, appreciated, and cared for every single day. It doesn't have to be these big, romantic gestures all of the time, like a fancy dinner date at a nice restaurant every night or filling your home with roses and candles whenever they arrive back from work. Sometimes, the small gestures mean just as much, like bringing home flowers or cooking dinner so your spouse can just put their feet up. Married men who are afraid of losing their wives know this, and will move through life making sure that her every need is taken care of or at least acknowledged so that she feels loved and looked after in the relationship. Because the second that she starts to feel unappreciated and ignored, it's not long before she realizes that she might be better off on her own.
A man who is deeply in love with his wife and can't imagine living a life without her is able to notice the thing that can make her day easier and her mood lighter. He's not acting out of insecurity or paranoia that she may wake up one day and leave him behind, but from a place of wanting to show her that she's wanted right where she is. He's willing to put in the work without having to be asked twenty million times a day to do something or to show up in the way that she needs him to. He's simply that in-tune with her emotions and habits that it's all light work for him.
Men who are afraid of losing their wives usually do these 11 things without being asked:
1. He remembers the little details
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When a man is afraid of losing his wife, he'll make sure that he's remembering the little details of her life and the things she tells him just to show her that he's committed to this marriage and spending his life with her. The obvious things, like her birthday and their anniversary, are the bare minimum. Still, he prides himself on being able to know how she takes her eggs in the morning, the kind of milk she enjoys in her matcha, and what kind of movie she needs to watch after having a long day.
Licensed social worker Assael Romanelli explained that there's a high price to being the partner who's constantly absent-minded. Some of those consequences include being judged for not seeming as invested in the relationship as the other person, your partner may begin to resent you, and a lack of respect will ensue. Your partner will just stop sharing altogether.
He's paying genuine attention to the things she talks about and the way her eyes light up when she's enjoying something close to her heart. By noticing the small details, he's letting her know that she matters and so do the things that she cares about. That kind of attentiveness means that she feels comfortable around him and knows that he can anticipate her needs before she even has to say anything.
2. He celebrates her wins
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A loving and devoted husband will make sure that his wife's wins don't go unnoticed. He'll celebrate them as if they're his own because her happiness is directly tied to his, and if he's afraid of losing her, he'll know that she deserves to feel recognized. Without her even having to say anything, he'll plan something for her if she's just passed a huge career milestone or even something as small as finally reading the book that had been on her to-be-read list for months.
"Celebrating your wins, no matter their size, is just as important as achieving the goal itself. Prevent burnout and improve your life satisfaction by taking the time to set goals, create rewards, and follow through on your plan," insisted psychologist Melanie McNally.
The celebration isn't always some grand party or event, though if that's what his wife enjoys, he'll make sure to plan it. But it's sometimes just buying a bottle of her favorite wine and ordering takeout from the restaurant down the street that she can't get enough of. It's writing a card that shows her how proud he is of her and all that she's accomplished. It's just doing something that'll make her feel seen for her efforts and the hard work she's put in to accomplishing that one thing.
3. He backs her dreams (even the big ones)
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Whenever a husband is listening to his wife talk about the things she wants to accomplish in life and all of the dreams that she has, he isn't just halfheartedly listening and nodding along but actively supporting them. Even when they seem big and a little bit risky, he understands that loving and supporting his wife means believing in her potential and cheering her on from the sidelines as she moves towards her aspirations. He focuses on the ways that he can help alleviate any stress she might be feeling and help her succeed.
Backing her dreams isn't just about blindly following behind her, either, but about showing that he's just as invested as she is. He's going out and helping her with anything she needs, asking thoughtful questions about the next steps, and just doing anything he can to make the journey to her goal as easy as possible. Her ambition is something he cherishes, and by being determined to keep the woman he loves, he knows that she needs a lifelong teammate by her side til the very end.
4. He steps in with the kids before she burns out
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According to a survey from the Pew Research Center, even in households where both parents work full-time, many have admitted that a large share of the day-to-day parenting responsibilities falls to mothers. They usually end up becoming the default parent, and because of that, they end up feeling the most stress and eventually burning out entirely. Loving and caring husbands can see when their wives need a break, and they're not afraid to step up when it comes to taking care of the kids so that she can get the rest she needs.
If he's not afraid of losing his wife, he'll never want her to feel as if she's a single parent despite being married. He'll wake up a few minutes early on school mornings to pack their lunch and get them ready to head out. He'll clean up after them and wrangle them into the bath at the end of the night before putting them to bed so his wife can actually have time to do her nighttime skincare routine. He'll acknowledge that being married and having children means it's a partnership. One person shouldn't be putting in more work than the other.
5. He replaces things before they run out
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It might seem like an extremely small thing to do, but a husband who's paying attention to his wife's needs makes sure that any household product that's running low is replaced before his wife even notices. If they're on the last roll of paper towels in the kitchen, he'll run to the store and buy a whole new package. If her favorite shampoo in the shower is on its last leg, he'll go online and order her two bottles so that she doesn't have to think about replacing them anytime soon.
He's not waiting for her to point it out or buy it herself, but he'll take care of it without even mentioning it. It's about doing all that he can to remove unnecessary stress from her life, even in the smallest of ways. She never has a chance to get annoyed by all of the things that need to be purchased around the house because he's already done it.
6. He compliments her all the time
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When a husband is devoted to making sure his wife is happy with him, he won't just wait for a special occasion to tell her the things that he loves about her. Instead, it'll be an everyday occurrence. He'll shower her with compliments that are incredibly sincere and make her feel loved and appreciated. They aren't empty words in the slightest, but he's showing her that he's paying attention to every detail about her whether it's him noticing that she recently bought a new outfit and is wearing it out for the first time, or how she styled her hair that morning, or even how bright her smile seems that day.
"Compliments make us feel good. To hear and give them, especially when we least expect it. In a world where it is hard to see the instant impact of our investment on tangible outcomes, here is one place where it is possible," encouraged psychologist Emily Balcetis.
He'll take every single opportunity to show her that he values her immensely. He'll even compliment her on things that can't be seen, like her intelligence or the way that she cares for the people in her life. That kind of reassurance means that she's never left guessing if her husband even likes her in the first place. She's never having to question her place in his life or if he even notices her at all.
7. He brings her water before bed
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When a man is afraid of losing his wife, he refuses to have her everyday needs overlooked at all, even something as small as bringing her water before she goes to bed. There's nothing more annoying than finishing your nighttime routine, getting all cozy in bed, before realizing that you forgot to fill up your water bottle with ice-cold water to have on your nightstand. It might seem like the smallest of gestures, but a husband who values his wife will have it there waiting for her as she climbs into bed for the night.
It's a thoughtful and consistent action that he'll do without even having to be asked. Bringing her water is about more than keeping her hydrated, but it is a sign of how considerate he is. He understands that these little conveniences are things that make her feel like she's being cared for. She's able just to relax fully and feel like she's being attended to, because she is.
8. He carries an extra jacket for her
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Just like bringing water to her before bed, a devoted husband is always thinking about his wife's comfort levels, and that includes making sure he has an extra jacket for her anytime they go out. He doesn't wait for her to shiver from the cold or see the goosebumps pop up on her arm. He'll anticipate the fact that she might be chilly, even if she's made a point to leave her jacket at home because she promised him that she would be fine.
He knows her well enough to know that she's someone who might run a bit cold and, therefore, would rather be safe than sorry. Carrying an extra jacket is both about making sure his wife is warm and also just being the kind of partner who cares about her comfort. It might seem like an incredibly minuscule thing to be doing, but he can tell that his wife appreciates these gestures, and so he'll keep doing them.
9. He makes her feel safe
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When a man is fearful of ever losing his wife, he'll make sure one of his highest and most important priorities is that she feels safe in the marriage. Both emotionally and physically, he wants her to feel like she can relax and let her guard down around him. It's more than just making sure she's kept out of harm's way, but also about creating a space where she can feel secure enough to be herself without fear of being judged or dismissed.
"Feeling safe in relationships, most especially in intimate relationships, is essential. If you don’t feel safe and are always walking on eggshells, not only are you always anxious, but it can backfire on you—you periodically get resentful and blow up—or you adopt the martyr role and eventually burn out," pointed out clinical therapist Bob Taibbi.
If she has something on her mind, she knows that she can sit with her husband and talk until she feels better without worrying if he's getting annoyed at her constant worries and fears. No matter what happens in the world, he wants her to know that she can rely on him wholeheartedly for any and everything. It's that sense of safety that allows her to feel cherished in the marriage and therefore have no doubts about the love that he has for her.
10. He speaks highly of her to others
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A husband who never wants to lose his wife is going to take every opportunity he has to speak highly about her to other people. He wants to make sure that they know just how amazing she is as well. He'll bring her up in conversation with friends, family members, his neighbors, and even his coworkers because he's the type of partner who wants the world to know that he's married to a hardworking, loving, and remarkable person. It's not that he's trying to brag, but expressing how much he admires her.
"The nature of pride in one's partner can reveal a lot about the nature of romantic love between the two lovers," explained psychologist Aaron Ben-Zeév. "A lack of pride in our partner might indicate either our lack of positive evaluation of our partner or that we lack a feeling of closeness with that partner."
When he's able to highlight all of the strong parts of her personality, including her strengths and the things she's achieved, he's just validating what she most likely already knows about herself. Hearing her husband speak so highly of her is just another reminder that she's married to someone who has such a deep value and appreciation for the kind of person she is. Not only that, but he's not threatened by it either. He doesn't feel the need to downplay anything that she does in an attempt to save face or protect his masculinity.
11. He learns the recipe to her favorite meal
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Without having to be asked, he's just the kind of husband who pays attention to the meals that his wife loves and that she finds comfort in. He'll spend hours in the kitchen learning how to make it if need be, just so that she can feel cherished and appreciated in the relationship. Whether it's a meal that her parents used to make when she was a kid or a dish that's native to where she's from, he'll take the effort that's needed to get as close to perfection as he can.
He'll surprise her with it at the end of a long day or whenever she's feeling down and needs a pick-me-up. Because of something as simple as being able to learn her favorite meal, she knows she can count on him to be there for her emotionally. He's committed to spending the rest of his life with her, and therefore, he's going to do his best to let his wife know that her presence in his life doesn't ever go unnoticed.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
