If Your Kids Have Any Of These 4 Annoying Traits, It's A Sign You’re Breaking Generational Curses
Your kids aren't trying to bother you. Instead, they just feel safe and comfortable with you.
GOLFX | Shutterstock It would be a lie to say that parents never feel annoyed because of their kids. There are a lot of differences between adults and kids, and they’re bound to not click all the time. However, some of the more annoying traits that your kids possess could actually be a sign that you’re doing a great job as a parent.
Generational curses, like negative beliefs and values, can be passed down in families from one generation to the next. Each generation has the chance to break them, but it doesn't often happen because honestly, life is just tough. If you are able to break free from these passed-down traumas, you'll likely be able to see the positive changes bubble up in the form of some rather annoying kid behaviors.
A TikTok user known as Chronically Kate shared four traits that can be annoying about kids, but actually signal you are breaking generational curses for them and giving them a healthier, happier life.
1. They’re loud
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It can certainly be annoying when kids are loud, and it feels like all you can hear is whatever noise they’re making. But, Kate argued that this actually means that they feel comfortable and unafraid being seen. Dr. Arthur Lavin, a pediatrician and the chair of the American Academy of Pediatrics Committee on Psychological Aspects of Child and Family Health, explained that this is all just part of how kids build their sense of self. “Kids have to build a foundation of who they are through peer-to-peer relationships,” he said.
Kids are figuring out who they are and what they want in life. If they’re comfortable being loud, that says a lot. Instead of being afraid of taking up space and really being seen, they feel fine with this. You have given them the foundation they need to feel safe, and sometimes that comes out through a lot of noise. Even though it may be annoying, it is worth it to know that you have created a safe space for your kids where they can be themselves.
2. They’re picky
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When your kids are picky, you may find yourself wishing that they would just accept what’s placed in front of them instead of insisting on nuggets and fries for every meal. However, Kate thinks this is a sign that your kids have never been forced to go without. They’ve never been in a situation where they absolutely had to take whatever they were offered because there was no other choice. Instead, they’ve always had options, and they know they can choose what’s right for them.
Perhaps the most common example of this is when kids are picky eaters. A lot of children are choosy about what they put on their plates and want to avoid certain foods. Alisha Grogan, MOT, ORT/L, shared that this is hard for parents because they want to take care of their kids by feeding them. Sometimes kids just don’t have the same plans, though. They want to stick to whatever they very specifically want. Instead of seeing this as an annoyance and thinking something is wrong, consider that it means your kid has an abundance of options to choose from.
3. They’re outspoken
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An outspoken kid can seem like a curse in and of itself. You never know what’s going to come out of their mouth, and who they’re going to let it slip in front of. While this may seem like a major annoyance, Kate pointed out that it can more accurately mean that your kid is used to being heard. They wouldn’t be so outspoken if they thought no one was going to listen to them — it would be a waste of their time. But they know someone will pay attention to what they have to say, so they feel comfortable saying whatever is on their mind.
There are some challenges that come with having an outspoken and stubborn child, but it’s not all bad. University of Pennsylvania psychologist Martin E.P. Seligman, PhD, concluded from his own research that if you raise a kid who is a bit more assertive, “you’ll improve a child’s outlook on life, curb his likelihood for depression and boost his grades.” It pays off for kids to speak their minds and let their opinions be known, even though it may seem annoying.
4. They won’t leave you alone
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Some kids just don’t leave their parents alone. They’re constantly telling them about their thoughts, or asking for things, or just hovering. Instead of seeing this as an inconvenience, it’s actually a blessing. Kate said that these kids trust and feel safe with their parents. Thinking about it from that perspective can change everything. Kids don’t pester their parents because they want to annoy them. Rather, it’s something they do out of love and the confidence they’ve built.
Unsurprisingly, the Child Mind Institute said one of the best things a parent can do to build confidence in their kids is to show them that they love them. “Making sure a child knows that you think they’re great — and not just when they do great things — will bolster their self-worth even when they’re not feeling good about themselves,” they said. If you show your kids you love them, it will give them more confidence and make them comfortable being around you. They just may want to be around you a lot.
Breaking generational curses is no easy feat. They have persisted through multiple generations in a family, after all. But, by loving and supporting your kids, you can not only show them how much they mean to you, but also stop them from falling into old patterns and habits that might make them think they aren’t good enough.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
