11 Things That Sound Polite In The South But Are Secretly Insults
Think they're being sweet? In the South, these "polite" phrases might actually be calling you out.
StratfordProductions | Shutterstock After living in the South for many years, it’s clear that Southern folks are some of the most polite people around. From welcoming their neighbors with pies to praying during times of distress, Southern hospitality is a real thing. But make no mistake — underneath all that sugar and charm, Southerners have mastered the art of the subtle insult.
Most people don't know this, but southern people abide by a code of honor — they’ll never be outright rude, but if you know what to listen for, you’ll hear the sting in their words. Here are some sayings that sound perfectly polite in the South, but are low-key insults in disguise.
11 things that sound polite in the South, but are secretly insults:
1. 'Well, you look... comfortable'
Motortion Films | Shutterstock
The first thing that sounds polite in the South, but is secretly an insult, is, “Well, you look comfortable.” This is Southern for, "You didn’t try at all, huh?" In the South, people value their reputation. For better or worse, southern folk will spend a good deal of time getting put together in the morning before going out. So, when someone at church or an older lady at a grocery store says this, they aren’t saying it literally; it’s a not-so-subtle nudge that you're underdressed for the occasion.
Is this always the best thing to hear when someone is already feeling uneasy and negative about themselves? Likely not, but people from the South say this phrase with the sincerest intentions. Whether we like it or not, others often judge by appearance. A study in Nature Human Behavior found that individuals wearing more upscale clothing are perceived as more competent than those who dress more poorly. So, while those outside the South might not always want to hear it, it’s true that dressing to impress has its perks, whether they admit it or not.
2. 'Well, good for you'
Antonio Guillem | Shutterstock
There’s no worse feeling than sitting down with someone and hearing them humble-brag for hours on end about their accomplishments. From the great career they have to the newest person they've managed to hire, a phrase that sounds polite in the South but is secretly an insult, is, “Well, good for you.”
When a southerner says this, know that they mean the opposite. Said with a sweet smile, this means, "Wow, you're full of yourself." It’s the Southern way of shutting down a humblebrag without breaking a sweat. They aren’t trying to be rude or bitter, but let’s face it: humble bragging is annoying. According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, people who humble-brag are seen as less likable than those who straight-up brag.
This is why Southern people utter this phrase in the first place. While some might consider this wording rude, there’s no denying that humbly bragging for hours on end is even more rude.
3. 'She's got a big personality'
Ekateryna Zubal | Shutterstock
Listen, there’s a time and place for everything, and while it might be tempting to scream your lungs out, doing so in the middle of a church gathering might not always be the best idea. Unless that person wants to be heavily judged by someone’s aunt or grandma, it’s best to keep that loud personality to themselves, depending on the setting. Still, some people can’t help themselves.
From their outgoing and lovable nature, some people appear to have little to no social awareness. However, this isn’t great as the University of Arizona News cited that, "Poor social skills often lead to stress and loneliness, which can negatively affect physical as well as mental health." So, while those outside the South might judge southern people for being ‘shady,’ they simply are trying to look out for others. This is why a thing that sounds polite in the south but is secretly an insult is, “She’s got a big personality.”
In the South, when someone has a big personality, they’re saying that person is loud and a bit obnoxious. Now, southern people don’t mean any harm by this comment, but sometimes, people can do too much. So, when their friends or family members are raising Cain and are unaware of their behavior, a southern person might point out their behavior in a subtle way to snap them back to reality.
However, if they’re not saying ‘You got a big personality, ' and are instead saying, 'She's got a big personality,’ to a close loved one, know they’re secretly gossiping about that person subtly.
4. 'Aren't you just a peach?'
Josep Suria | Shutterstock
There’s nothing more infuriating than coming across someone straight-up rude and obnoxious. From their stinging and unnecessary comments to their out-of-pocket behavior, a thing that sounds polite in the south but is secretly an insult is, “Aren’t you just a peach?”
This one’s got bite. It sounds sweet, but it’s usually a sarcastic jab at someone being rude or dramatic. On the outside, saying someone is a peach often means referring to someone as sweet. However, in the South, when someone says this, it's understood that they’re calling out someone’s poor behavior and giving them a chance to correct it.
While Southern people might be as sweet as apple pie, they will absolutely go in on someone if they get out of line. According to a study published in Social Psychology Quarterly, Southerners are less likely to send angry signals when conflict escalates, and are less likely to perceive others as angry compared to Northerners. Southerners are also viewed as more spontaneous, as they often don't give warning signals before lashing out.
So, while Southern people do their best to be sweet, if they’re two seconds away from having someone meet God, they might want to give them a blunt warning; otherwise, this person might not have enough time to correct their behavior.
5. 'Well, that's one way to do it'
fizkes | Shutterstock
Southern people truly are great, but they can be a bit judgmental at times, especially when it comes to stupid people. Maybe it’s because they hate nonsense, but a thing that sounds polite in the South but is secretly an insult is, “Well, I guess that’s one way to do it.”
Yes, everyone is different, and these differences aren't always a bad thing. For instance, according to a study by the Boston Consulting Group, companies that reported diverse management saw a 19-point increase in revenue compared to those with less diversity. Even so, there’s a wrong way to go about doing common-sense stuff and a correct way.
Of course, buying groceries at one store may be more convenient, but everyone knows that Food Lion is way too expensive, and Aldi's is one of the best places to shop. So, while Southern people might not outright say someone is an idiot, by uttering this phrase, they’re pretty much saying, ‘You’re dumber than a sack of rocks.”
6. 'She's something else'
llona Kozhevnikova | Shutterstock
Everyone’s meant that one person they can’t believe exists. From their unhinged behavior to their questionable actions, there are truly no words to describe how strange or chaotic someone is, unless they’re from the South.
While Southern people have encountered their fair share of crazy and weird before, they want to put it into words that are honestly perfect. No, they don’t say, “That girl is nuts and weird.” Instead, a thing that sounds polite in the south but is secretly an insult is, “She’s something else.”
Once again, the last thing Southern people want to do is be rude. According to psychologists Dov Cohen and Richard Nisbett, “We think the best single explanation has to do with the South being home to a version of the culture of honor.” This is why they struggle to be direct in the first place. However, in this case, this isn’t always a bad thing. When in doubt, it’s better to keep their opinion of others to themselves, especially when dealing with an unpredictable person.
7. 'You're so brave'
fizkes | Shutterstock
On the outside, when a Southern person says, “You’re so brave,” it might sound like a complete lie; however, this is a thing that sounds polite in the south but is secretly insulting. Southern people like to keep it classy.
Even if they don’t particularly like someone or think their decision is dumb, they never want to disrespect a person to their face. Not only is this an extremely admirable trait to possess, but it’s also beneficial, as a study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology found that feeling disrespected often leads to an increase in aggression compared to being disliked.
This is why sometimes it’s best to be indirect. While they could’ve said, “Wow, you look ridiculous,” they understand that keeping their real judgments to themselves is wiser depending on the situation.
8. 'You look healthy'
Antonio Guillem | Shutterstock
It’s unfortunate, but people always have something to say about someone’s appearance. Whether someone loses weight or gains weight, people, especially women, often feel they can’t win. Even if a woman has just given birth, in-laws and family members will still find a way to berate a woman’s body to her face. That being said, people from the South are generally more polite when it comes to discussing weight gain.
This is why a thing that sounds polite in the South but is secretly an insult is, “You look so healthy.” Now, on the outside, this doesn’t sound like the worst thing ever. After all, everyone strives to be their healthiest self. However, when someone says this, what they really mean is, “Wow, you look fat.”
Once again, it isn’t the kindest thing out there. Not commenting on someone’s appearance is the best approach. According to a study published in 2018, weight-related teasing or pressure to lose weight is a strong predictor of an eating disorder. So, while Southern people might have the best of intentions, sometimes, it’s best to be more supportive and kind.
9. 'God love him, he can't help it'
fizkes | Shutterstock
If there’s one thing about Southern people that everybody knows, it’s that a lot of them are very religious. From attending church as infants to going to Christian-based schools, Southern people believe that having a strong sense of faith is the foundation for a good upbringing.
However, because of their strong faith, southern people tend to incorporate things like ‘raising Cain’ and ‘God doesn't like ugly’ into their vocabulary. As a result, a thing that sounds polite in the South but is secretly an insult is, “God love him, he just can’t help himself.”
Everybody knows that the South is meant to be a reflection of God. In the Christian faith, Jesus is the embodiment of loving people, including those who are flawed. So, when a Southern person says, “God love him,” they truly do mean it. However, combining this phrase, what a southern person means is, “God forgive him, but this guy’s an idiot.” Now, do Southern people mean well? Of course, but let’s face it: sometimes, people are a bit ridiculous and do the strangest things, which is why they use this phrase in the first place.
10. 'How'd that work out for you?'
Motortion Films | Shutterstock
Ever warn someone against something, and they do that idiotic thing anyway? It's a universal problem, but no matter how much time passes, people will always encounter those who make questionable decisions, often without a clue.
That being said, how Southern people react is downright hilarious, as a thing that sounds polite in the South but is secretly an insult is, "How'd that work out for you?" When a Southern person says this, know that they don't care if it worked out for that person or not.
In true Southern fashion, they disguise their sarcasm by being a bit passive-aggressive. So, while it might sound genuine, what a Southern person is saying is, "Didn't I tell you that wouldn't work? You look so stupid right now." And while this might be tough to hear, if someone ain't using common sense, maybe they deserve this slight snapback.
11. 'We'll keep you in our prayers'
Nicoleta Ionescu | Shutterstock
Finally, the last thing that sounds polite in the South but is secretly an insult is, “We’ll keep you in our prayers.” Now, this phrase can mean one of two things: either this person truly does feel bad for you and is praying for you, or they are using it as a way to express sympathy. Two, this person thinks you’re terrible and will be praying that you see the error of your ways.
Assuming that it’s the second option, most Southern people are taught to take the higher ground. Even if others are rude to them, they’ll actively pray for them or say ‘bless your heart,’ because their parents taught them that how they respond says more about them than the other person.
So, in true Southern fashion, they actively choose to do better by destroying people with kindness. Is this always easy? No, but when someone is being downright rude and disrespectful, this often means they’re miserable in their everyday life. And if there’s one thing people hate more than anything else, it’s someone happy. So, take a page out of a Southern person’s notebook and always destroy people with kindness.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
