Mom Asks Parents Who Raised Successful Adults What They Were Like As Toddlers — 'Looking For Some Hopeful Perspective'
The verdict? Toddlerdom is just a phase, and everything's gonna be alright.
Maria Symchych | Shutterstock Toddlers can be such nightmares that it can be hard to imagine that all of us were once diaper-clad holy terrors, too. But when you're in the toddler trenches as a parent, it can be hard to see through those dark days of tantrums and obstinacy.
One such mom turned to parents on Reddit for advice and reassurance that, despite appearances, her tornado of a child will one day be a functional human being! Turns out those terrible twos, threes, and beyond are totally normal.
The mom asked parents of successful adults what their kids were like as toddlers.
In her post, the mom wrote that she and her partner are "in the thick of toddlerhood right now." While navigating her little one through this period has been "beautiful" and "hilarious," it has also been "chaotic" and "exhausting." Yep, sounds about right!
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And from the sounds of it, all the "sticky fingers, endless snack negotiations, wild imaginations, and the occasional epic meltdown over the wrong color cup" have her spread a little thin. So she took to the r/Parenting subreddit for some perspective. "For those of you who have kids who are now grown, independent, and doing well in life," she wrote in her post, "what were they like as toddlers?... I'd love… a little hopeful perspective and encouragement during the 'stickers don’t go on the walls' years."
Nearly every parent had the same story: Their infuriating toddlers have grown into incredible adults.
This Redditor's fellow parents definitely stepped up to the task, and nearly all had the same story: The holy terrors who ran them ragged during toddlerdom have turned out not just fine, but in some cases, extraordinary.
One mom of four described her kids as, respectively, docile and helpful, obstinate and combative, emotional and super sensitive, and a boundary pusher and "mini villain." But decades later, all four of them have translated those qualities into success. They all have great careers that in many ways align with their toddler qualities. The docile and helpful child is now a dietitian, while the combative one now works in cybersecurity, fending off online villains.
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Another commenter who was a nanny described her three oldest former clients as kids who ran her ragged when they were little, but have turned out great. The one who would terrorize her by pushing furniture all over the house is now a talented "Ms. Fix It" as well as a teacher.
Another once chipped her tooth throwing a potty seat at her, but who is now a "chill" adult excelling in college, and the third kid who threw tantrums so bad she "couldn't take her anywhere" is now studying to be a nurse and taking care of her sick grandma full time.
Many parents said their toddlers' difficult traits have also turned into assets in adulthood.
One mom spoke of her toddler as being "chaotic and sensitive" to a point that left her deeply worried at the time. "He drove us to the brink some days," she wrote. But now that he's in adulthood, she sees how this chaos has translated to "a sense of urgency" that has made him a productive and proactive "get things done" type of guy that serves him well.
Others felt like their toddler traits resulted in unexpected talents. One wrote of her sister, who was a "troublemaker" as a toddler, and herself, who was the "polite, perfect child." Now, it seems her sister's troublemaking has turned into a certain wiliness that's made her successful in business, while her own more internally focused personality has made her good at relationships.
Over and over again, the themes were the same: They may have been nightmares then, but it has little connection with who they are now, except in positive ways. And several spoke up to tell this mom that no matter how frustrating it may get, it is very much just a phase, and one all kids need to go through in order to grow and develop.
The "terrible twos," after all, are borne of the moment when kids' brains realize they have agency and autonomy, and now that they know this, they want to assert it for all its worth to see where the boundaries lie. They're basically experimenting with the ways of the world now that they've realized they're no longer 100% dependent on their parents, but they're doing so without a fully developed brain that understands that, say, their sandwich cut the wrong way is not actually an earth-shaking problem!
But it will pass, and more importantly, it will help them grow into who they are going to be. So hang in there, parents, and know that the fact you're even worried about this likely means you're doing a good job.
John Sundholm is a writer, editor, and video personality with 20 years of experience in media and entertainment. He covers culture, mental health, and human interest topics.
