11 Deeply Moving Signs You Did A Great Job Raising Your Adult Kids
Parents want to believe their way of doing things was right, and these tell-tale signs let you know you got it right.
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A / Shutterstock As parents, it's hard to know whether or not we are doing the right thing when it comes to raising our children. We do the best we can with the knowledge we have and hope for exemplary results. Even then, it's entirely possible that our adult children will turn around and tell us all of the ways we went wrong.
There is no handbook we can reference, and we know that providing just their basic needs like food, clothing, and shelter is not enough. What works for one child might not work for another, but for those who nailed it, there are some undeniable and deeply moving signs that you did a great job raising them.
11 deeply moving signs you did a great job raising your adult kids
1. They are kind
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Children who are raised right treat others as they expect to be treated. They aren't mean-spirited and choose to deal with others kindly. As adults, they focus on positive interactions instead of negativity and have a burning desire to leave people better off than they found them.
Children don't just develop this nice disposition on their own. It comes from being raised in supportive and nurturing families where their parents modeled such behavior. They become accustomed to spending quality time and expressing love openly. Kind adults were likely raised in an environment where they felt secure and developed a strong sense of self-worth.
2. They are empathetic
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Having empathy means that you are able to put yourself in the shoes of another without having the same lived experience. You can see the world through their eyes and understand the experience that they might be having. This is not to be confused with sympathy, meaning you feel sorry for someone. Rather, it's about sharing their feelings and emotional connection.
Children whose parents taught them this early can empathize with others and imagine what it might be like from their perspective. They've been shown empathy during their upbringing and can use those tools to help other people feel seen and heard. They treat everyone with dignity and respect, regardless of where they are in life.
3. They are accountable
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Adult children who believe their parents did a great job raising them take responsibility for their own actions and lives. They know that a parent's love and nurturing get you started on your lifelong journey, but that it is up to them to take over and get across the finish line.
Because you modeled this kind of behavior, well-adjusted adults take accountability when they are wrong and own the decisions that they make, along with the outcomes. They admit to their mistakes and make sure they follow through on commitments.
4. They are thoughtful
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When adults were raised right as kids, they tend to be much more thoughtful in their actions and choices. They don't make willy-nilly decisions that might hurt themselves or others, and do their best to consider all perspectives. Even when they don't agree, they understand that others have their own world view and approach differences with respect.
Thoughtful people act with integrity, even when you’re not around. They weigh all of the available options to make sure they are making the best decisions for everyone involved and consider any related consequences. They come from parents who were also thoughtful and considerate of their needs.
5. They are resilient
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One of the best things a great parent can teach their children is resilience. The ability to bounce back from life's woes can make the difference between extreme success and utter failure. These parents let their kids witness them overcoming obstacles and breaking through barriers.
Most importantly, these adult children know how to deal with challenges and setbacks without falling apart. They know they have supportive parents, but choose to utilize them only when absolutely necessary. Resilient people are autonomous because they were raised to know that they have what it takes to do anything.
6. They have healthy boundaries
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Setting boundaries can be uncomfortable. Putting your foot down and letting people know what you will or will not tolerate takes knowing exactly who you are and what you want out of life. Great parents teach their children early on that boundaries are healthy and necessary in life.
They help their little ones understand that "no" is a complete sentence and that they never have to do anything that doesn't feel right to them. They also know how to respect the boundaries that other people have in place. And when their rules of engagement are violated, they cut ties swiftly.
7. They talk to you
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Many of us dread the day we become empty nesters. Our kids move on with their own lives, and we might talk to them here and there, if we are lucky. But when parents build amazing relationships with their children, the lines of communication remain wide open. I personally talk to my mom every single day, and if I don't, I am prepared to issue an Amber Alert.
Adults who were well-raised go from a parent-child dynamic to friends with their parents. They talk openly and honestly about what is going on in their lives and respect their mother's or father's opinion. If you did a great job parenting, you adult children want to talk to you regularly and never feel like it is out of obligation.
8. They are authentic
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Adults who were raised with great parenting show up in spaces as their authentic selves. They know who they are and don't feel the need to change personas to appease people. They have learned that self-acceptance and self-love are some of the most important attributes they can have in this world.
Children who are authentic are confident and have a very strong sense of self. They are leaders, not followers, who can influence others positively and give encouragement when needed. These people are not swayed by peer pressure, nor do they feel the need to keep up with trends. They run their own race.
9. They contribute positively to the world
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Kids who had the best parents want to leave people, places, and things better than they found them. Whether it be in the workplace, at home, or in the community, they strive to enhance everything they touch. They add to good experiences rather than subtract from them.
These adults who had amazing parents get out and volunteer, even when there is no personal benefit to them. They move through life with compassion and always help whenever they can. They are the type of people who uplift others and can shift the energy in a room by simply walking in.
10. They are grateful
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Some adults take the guesswork out of whether or not their parents did a good job by saying it outright. They might frequently express gratitude for all they've done for them, the sacrifices they made, and the life lessons that they gained. There is nothing more special than your child celebrating you for a job well done.
That grateful viewpoint does not end with extending it to their parents. The adults who truly loved their upbringings have an attitude of gratitude in every area of life. They cherish what they have with a knowing that no matter how bad things are, they can always be worse.
11. They pass it down
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The best representation of how you did as a parent is how your adult children parent your grandchildren. There are people who learn what not to do by analyzing how they were raised. There are those with great parents who modeled the exact behavior they want to show their own kids.
The best parents in the world show up in ways that inspire their children to be just as good when they have their own. They know what worked for them and use it as a tool in their arsenal in hopes of having kids that turn out even better than they did. At the same time, they are willing to make adjustments because not every kid is the same and each has different needs.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and the author of seven books. She focuses on lifestyle and human interest stories that delivers informative and actionable guidance on interpersonal relationships, enlightenment, and self-discovery.
