8 Sweet First Date Behaviors That Instantly Will Bond Someone To You
Thoughtful things to do on a first date to ensure someone feels instantly enamored with you.
Katerina Holmes | Canva Dating is often complicated and torturous, and first dates can be boring and awkward. But they are also exciting and brimming with chemistry. You have an opportunity to create a bond with someone new, regardless of where it leads.
Yet, you have a lot to worry about. You worry about how you will behave, what you might say, and being sweet enough to get a second date. But too much pressure can certainly mess things up. A 2022 study from The American Psychological Association (APA) suggested that "both desirable traits and unique impressions of compatibility have lingering effects on relationship development, even from the moment that two potential partners meet."
Here are eight sweet first-date behaviors that instantly bond someone to you:
1. Paying attention to your appearance
I cannot stress this enough. Dressing well is mandatory. Period. Dress well and look good. You don’t need to rent a tux, but make sure to wear some of your best clothes, set your hair properly, have a shower, use deodorant, and feel confident.
Top it off with a nice, genuine smile. The better you present yourself, the more confident you will feel. The better you feel, the more interested they will be in getting to know you.
2. Being authentic
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I know you want them to like you and maybe fall in love with you. But you can’t make someone like you. Of course, you can put on a show and be a fake person. You can perform the things you believe they might like, but still, they don't end up liking you. They like the fake person you presented. Relax a bit and breathe. You don’t know what they will like.
It’s best to be yourself. Be who you are, and they just might like that. They may be looking for exactly the type of person you are.
When you are yourself, you will be more open and flexible to your surroundings. That means you will react better to whatever they do or say, and show them who you are. Take things easy and light, and just let them meet and fall in love with you.
3. Asking questions — and actually listening
You are on a date, what do you say? What do you talk about? You are not here to make small talk. You are here to make a connection. So, how can you make sure the conversation is interesting and fun?
Figure out what you are going to say in the first 30 seconds. That’s it. This is the most awkward part of the date. If you know what you will say and what topics you want to talk about in the initial 30 seconds, you can set the conversation flow and set momentum.
Once you have started the conversation, let them talk and make sure you listen. From here onwards, just go with the flow. Ask simple questions.
But don’t ask stupid or boring questions, like what they do at work unlesss they bring it up. You are on a date. Not an interview. They are here to have fun. Not to talk about work.
Just keep the conversation natural and try not to force any topics. Research from the APA stated, "relational development is associated with systematic changes in communication behavior."
4. Making eye contact
You’ve started talking, it’s time to create some tension and chemistry. Once the conversation starts flowing and you are having a good time, you connect. This is when they start feeling attracted to you.
This is where you need to build chemistry to make sure they want you long after the first date is over. Without chemistry, the attraction will fade away, and they will move on to the next.
But, how do you build chemistry? Simple, just look into their eyes while making conversation and taking a pause at times. Hold the stare and just smile. Then, start talking and laughing again.
However, make sure you don’t keep staring at her eyes more than you need to. The keyword here is subtlety.
5. Paying attention
Put your smartphone down. You wanted to go out on a date, and here you are. You don’t want to ruin the moment by staring at your phone.
Checking your phone every two minutes will only annoy them and crush any attraction or chemistry you have built. You need to give them your undivided attention. This is one of the best first-date tips you can get.
Just pay attention to them and watch how quickly they start liking you. Paying attention paves the road to a long-term, committed relationship.
6. Having a sense of humor
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You know it works. I don’t need to tell you this. You don’t need to be a stand-up comedian to make your date laugh. Just listen to what they are saying and use humor to make them feel light and relaxed.
Just make sure you don’t start cracking obscene jokes that will make them feel awkward. Use your natural humor to show you're intelligent and know how to have fun. A 2016 study in Europe's Journal of Psychology demonstrated that "positive humor increased individuals' attraction."
7. Creating a sense of mystery
Being mysterious is a great idea if you want to go on further dates. Being too available is an attraction killer. You want them to feel excited about the date and want another.
Being a little mysterious will keep them interested in you, and they will want to meet you again to get to know more. Sharing about yourself is important to build a connection, but make sure you don’t act like an open book.
They should feel like exploring your different sides and have a greater desire to know you better. This will happen when you are being genuine and share bits and pieces about your interesting life in a natural flow of conversation.
8. Texting them afterward
Forget the norms. If you like them and find them attractive, get in touch once the date is over. You can send a short email or a text saying how much you enjoyed their company and end with a simple thanks. This will tell them you are interested and like them.
Moreover, they will feel comfortable and confident enough to stay in touch with you. This could even lead to some casual flirting, and before you know it, you have a second date.
If you are waiting for them to contact you first, you need to realize they might be thinking the same thing. So, drop the ego and send the text.
There you have it. I hope you’re all set for your first date and it goes well. It doesn’t have to be perfect, nor does it have to be complicated.
The two most important things you need to keep in mind are confidence and having fun. Everything else will sort itself out.
Theo Harrison is an artist, blogger, writer, and former contributor to The Mind's Journal, who writes primarily about mental health, pop culture, and relationships.
