People Who Disappear For Awhile When They’re Overwhelmed Usually Have These 10 Reasons
Sometimes people just need a break.
Dragana Gordic | shutterstock Has anyone ever felt an intense need to escape from the world? Whether it's doomsday scrolling or feeling overwhelmed by the amount of responsibilities they have, these challenges might have people wanting to run away from everything. Still, many people suck up these thoughts and continue on their merry way — even if it bothers them on the inside.
People who disappear when overwhelmed often have multiple reasons. It isn't just excessive responsibilities causing them to ghost friends and family. Various factors likely lead them to run away for weeks or months.
People who disappear for a while when they're overwhelmed usually have these 10 reasons:
1. They’re emotionally exhausted
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Even the strongest people can feel emotionally overwhelmed from time to time. From working long shifts to comparing grocery prices, there are plenty of things that can bring on the waterworks. Still, these occurrences don't cause people to retreat and disappear for months on end.
Yet, if someone has been emotionally exhausted for a while, this could be a reason why people disappear for a while. Feeling as if they're at their breaking point, many people will ghost others to get their emotions together without having a nervous breakdown in front of their friends or family.
On the surface, this doesn't seem like a bad thing. After all, everyone needs time to recuperate and get their feelings together. However, disappearing for months on end without first explaining themselves can be hurtful to the other party. Whether they meant to or not, this can quickly come across as feeling abandoned, which, according to CPTSD, is increasingly more likely to experience mental health disorders.
2. They worry about being a burden
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There's no worse fear than feeling as if someone is being a burden. Yet, for people who disappear for a while when they're overwhelmed, the fear of being a burden is usually why they ghost others in the first place. Whether it's because they feel as though they're not good enough or don't feel like they're contributing enough, these individuals allow these fears to take over their lives.
Now, instead of being vulnerable and expressive in their thoughts, they feel the urge to shut down and disappear. In their eyes, they don't feel worthy enough to be around their friends or family, and being around these individuals only reminds them of how much they lack.
So, while it's not the kindest thing to shut people out, sometimes, shutting people out is the best way to keep their mental health intact. Now, should they sit down and discuss their feelings with others? Sure, but as most people know, it's a lot easier said than done.
3. They need to recharge their energy
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How many more hours of work and school can someone do before they lose their mind? Let's face it: life isn't always easy. Not only do people work all day just to make minimum wage, but they are also expected to be flawless individuals, with no thoughts or complaints.
They're expected to put their all into everything they do, causing their energy to deplete. This is why people who disappear for a while when they're overwhelmed usually do so because they need to recharge their energy. Forget napping; these people need a week's rest to regain their energy.
Between school, work, being a parent, and other personal matters, the amount of burnout people experience daily is insane. According to the American Psychological Association, 36% reported cognitive weariness, 32% reported emotional exhaustion, and 44% reported physical fatigue. So, while many people might find the thought of being ghosted for sleep as unappealing, the truth of the matter is this person doesn't even have the energy to eat, let alone text or call for hours on end.
4. They’re avoiding conflict
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Everyone has been there before. They're at a family reunion when all of a sudden, the unthinkable happens: their cousin or aunt is popping off on other people. With wide eyes, they watch in disbelief as people get into arguments or worse, fight one another.
Initially, this may seem like an entertaining TV show that they can't take their eyes off. A quick drama session that ends in hours of gossip that bond people together. However, after a while, dealing with the drama and tears can quickly grow frustrating, as people slowly begin to feel overwhelmed.
This is why people who disappear for a while do so in the first place. To put it simply, they want to avoid the conflict at all costs. Now, most people will not understand this, as there's nothing wrong with a bit of conflict and drama. Yet, unlike most people, these individuals understand the amount of stress that comes along with conflict, causing them to distance themselves from the situation.
5. They’re struggling with mental health issues
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Many people scoff at the idea of mental health. Never having experienced being diagnosed with things such as anxiety or depression, these individuals believe that thinking positively will automatically make their mental health issues go away. Unfortunately, this isn't the way mental health works.
From people's ability to get dressed in the morning to worsening their physical and mental health, mental health disorders have the potential to ruin people's lives completely. According to SPRC, it can impact people's lives and negatively affect students' academic success, quality of life, physical health, and more.
So, people who disappear for a while when they're overwhelmed usually do so because they're struggling with mental health issues. However, this does not mean that facing mental health challenges justifies ignoring others. Individuals shouldn't use mental health as a reason for ghosting.
Still, understanding the context allows others to empathize more. Not only that, but it can encourage people to get the help that they need if they're willing to admit that their mental health problems have taken a turn for the worse. Will this be easy? No, but at the very least, seeking help and being vulnerable with others is a step in the right direction.
6. They don't feel seen by those around them
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It's all too normal for people to feel unseen. From group projects to Pilates class, there will inevitably be a moment when someone feels unseen by those around them. Yet, what happens when they feel this way more often than not? Like it or not, people who constantly feel unseen are the same individuals who disappear for a while when they're overwhelmed.
It's certainly not kind to leave their loved ones in the dark. However, when they're constantly ignored or pushed to the side, then who cares if they shut someone down? After all, their dismissive behavior likely started with that in the first place. Yet, whether it was their intention or not, there's a huge need for conversation to be had.
As much as they'd like to ghost them, the action of ghosting without proper discussion leaves no room for clarity, potentially causing preventable misunderstandings. So, as much as they'd like to hit that block button, don't be too hasty. They might find that the person in question never meant to make them feel unseen in the first place.
7. They can't find the motivation
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After putting their all into everything, there comes a point at which the strongest people no longer have the fuel to continue trying. This is probably why people who disappear for a while when they're overwhelmed usually do so because they have entirely lost their motivation to continue trying.
Losing motivation is no joke. While many people often say they don't feel motivated, experiencing this every day can negatively impact their work ethic. For instance, a 2020 study found that low motivation is associated with poor academic performance.
With that being said, if someone truly feels overwhelmed and feels the urge to disappear, don't ghost people forever. While taking a break for a week is fine, ghosting others for weeks on end can quickly lead to stress or confusion among loved ones, causing distress in the long run.
8. They’re in survival mode
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One of the top reasons people who disappear for a while when they're overwhelmed is that they're in a state of survival mode. Life hasn't been easy for these individuals lately. After experiencing hiccups in their work and personal relationships, these individuals begin to enter survival mode.
Their stress levels are high, and they struggle to function correctly. While they'd like to sit there and 'get over it,' their brain doesn't allow them to process things, let alone move on. Instead, their brain is conserving energy as it does its best to ensure that their basic needs are being met.
Over time, this could suggest that the brain is limiting communication with others, except when necessary. It's nothing personal. Instead, it's a temporary way the brain can ensure its host is taking care of itself while it builds up their energy and grapples with their stressors.
9. They’re feeling guilty
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If someone were to ask the average person if they regret anything in life, they'd probably respond with a list of things. From the words that they said to the tone of voice they used to make their point, everyone looks back at these moments wishing they could've done better.
Even so, crumbling and disappearing for a while because they're overwhelmed with guilt isn't the way to go. Believe it or not, there's power in taking accountability. As humbling as it may be, taking responsibility is the most effective way to grow as a person and strengthen one's relationships with others. According to psychotherapist F. Diane Barth, L.C.S.W., taking accountability often leads to feeling competent. She continued, "And that sense of competence can increase self-esteem, improve our work, and mend our relationships."
Unfortunately, people who disappear for a while when they're overwhelmed struggle to rein in their guilt, causing them to go into a state of disconnection as they figure out the best way to reapproach that conversation. That being said, they shouldn't disappear for too long. Abandoning the person they have already hurt will make the offense ten times worse than if they had just said they needed time.
10. They’re trying to figure out what they want out of life
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Finally, people who disappear for a while when they're overwhelmed usually do so because they're trying to figure out what they want out of life. Juggling multiple responsibilities often leaves even the strongest person feeling weak and overwhelmed. No longer knowing what they want out of life, these individuals retreat to gather their thoughts.
For those on the outside, this may seem sudden and unwarranted. Yet, for those who need it, they've likely been debating going ghost mode and figuring things out for a while now. However, it's not until a significant moment in their life happens that people feel motivated to make a change.
That being said, both parties need to communicate their needs. While it's easy to ignore the offensive act, if they genuinely want to maintain their relationships with others, then being upfront and honest about their needs is essential.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
