People Who Don’t Check Their Phone Mid-Conversation Usually Have These 6 Distinctive Personality Traits
Jonatan Ivan Diakow | Shutterstock We live in a world of distractions, so the more presence of mind we have, the easier it will be to have conversations. You experience presence of mind when you feel grounded in the moment and can listen to another person through your body, heart, and mind without checking your phone 17 times mid-conversation.
Research has helped explain how people who don't check their phone mid-conversation tend to have a few distinctive personality traits, including a strong presence of mind and an ability to take care of themselves. Everything about taking care of yourself comes together in your brain. Your brain connects to every part of your body. When you experience presence of mind, you become aware of what you need without struggling with all the distractions.
People who don’t check their phone mid-conversation usually have these 6 distinctive personality traits:
1. They can quiet their mind
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When you quiet your mind, you open up to your inner wisdom. This knowing arises from your unconscious brain, the knowledge of your body, and the yearnings of the heart. The more you quiet your mind, the greater access you have to your inner knowing that arises from a healthy presence of mind.
There are many ways to quiet your mind, and one of them is to meditate. There are many meditation traditions, some secular and others religious. In the end, it depends on what works best for you. You might find a meditation group in your area.
You might find it helpful to do something active while you meditate. You can turn any walk or other outdoor activity into meditation by setting your intention before you begin. If you love cooking, dancing, or singing, you can make that into meditation by noticing what arises in your body, mind, and heart.
The more you quiet your mind, the better you can move beyond your ego into what is truly best for you. Doing this work enables you to quiet the chatter in your head so you can access the truth of yourself and to be able to make the best choices in the moment.
2. They're in tune with their body
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Your body is amazing! Your body will always let you know what you're experiencing in every moment. All you need to do is pay attention. When your muscles and bones feel relaxed, it's a sign you're experiencing flow. You feel like life is moving ahead just at the right pace, and it feels good.
When any part of your body is tight, it suggests that something in your life is out of alignment. Feeling stressed is a time to get curious and discover what is amiss. Studies have suggested that where you feel the stress gives you insight into what you need to change in your life. For example, feeling discomfort in the gut might be a sign that you are stuck in fear.
Your body will often let you know before you become aware of it in your head. You won't have the presence of mind until your body is calm and relaxed. The disharmony will often block your ability to know the truth at the time.
3. They focus on one thing at a time
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You might think you are good at multitasking, but in truth, people aren't good at it. The more tasks you try to do simultaneously, the less attention you can give to each function. Since you're trying to do several things at the same time, it's easier for your ego to keep you stuck in old habits, like checking your phone mid-convo.
Psychologist Sharon Saline explained the problem with multitasking, "When we multitask, we are simply splitting our attention. Each time we switch from one task to another, we’re not concentrating on either charge, and our body needs a mental warm-up to resume the suspended task. In addition, our bodies become over-activated and addicted to constant stimulation, our stress hormones rise with every text or email alert, exhaust the connections between different parts of our brain, and increase our susceptibility to illness, accidents, and inattentiveness."
4. They're gentle with themselves
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If you want a strong presence of mind, you need to be kind to yourself. Whenever you're negative, you close down the energy pathways between your body, emotions, and thoughts. As these pathways close down, you begin to lose your presence of mind, which allows you to stay in the moment with other people instead of on your phone.
"Self-compassion is the ability to view yourself as an inherently flawed human being," advised burnout coach Kavita Melwani. It is when you can talk to yourself with the same voice you would use with a friend. When you can view what you are doing, how you look, and your actions with patience, understanding, and loving energy, then that is self-compassion."
Remember, you are human and never meant to be perfect. Your imperfections are what make you unique. Treat yourself with kindness. Celebrate when you get something right and have compassion when it doesn't go the way you hoped. The more you do this, the more presence of mind you'll cultivate.
5. They take responsibility for themselves
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It would help if you took one hundred percent responsibility for your behavior and bad habits (like looking at your phone when someone's having a heart-to-heart), to be honest with yourself and others. Once you commit to being honest, you need to stay tuned into your inner world. Notice the story you're telling yourself, and then check it out to see if it's really true.
"No one is immune to the seesaw of emotional responses until you start to notice what you’re doing," explained clinical social worker Lyssa deHart. "You get so attached to your idea of what’s right that when you don’t win, it can be overwhelming and frustrating. When we dig our heels in and get overly attached to our perspective, we stop listening. We shut down communication, and we close down solutions. When we are open to other perspectives, everything changes."
This way, you will be able to let go of the lies and acknowledge who you actually are inside. The more honest you are with yourself, the easier it will be to have a healthy and robust presence of mind.
6. They trust their intuition
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Your intuition comes alive when you're present to your body's sensations and emotions and have a quiet, receptive mind. When you establish presence of mind, your intuition comes online. The most important thing to do is to pay attention. When you come to a decision, you'll know just what you need to do.
Strengthening your presence of mind is lifelong work. The more you work at it, the better you'll get at keeping your presence of mind through all the ups and downs of life. Your job is to stay open to your inner world. Take time every day to notice what's going on within you. Your body, heart, and mind will lead the way. Your presence of mind will get stronger and stronger.
You'll also find a greater flow to your life. And you'll be able to make the best decisions for yourself and your family. While life may not always feel easy, you'll know you're headed in the right direction.
Roland Legge is an author, certified spiritual life coach, and teacher of the Enneagram. He helps people connect to their inner selves and find alignment with their highest purpose and values.
