5 Reasons You Feel Like Your Life Is Falling Apart After 6 Months Of COVID-19
getty "My life is falling apart!" Is this how you're feeling right now?
Do you find that all the coping mechanisms you've developed over the years aren’t working? Do you feel worthless, like a failure, and as though no one loves you?
Are you questioning every decision you've ever made? Are you wondering if you'll ever be at peace again?
Many clients are reaching out to me now, questioning everything in their lives and feeling like they're truly losing it.
And, yes, they all have stuff they're dealing with. But right now, their burden feels overwhelming.
If you feel like screaming, "My life is falling apart!," here are 5 possible reasons why.
1. Life has changed completely due to COVID-19.
Think about your life before March 2020. What did you do?
Did you go out to eat, travel, visit your in-laws, drop your kids off at school, date, and have ready access to toilet paper whenever you wanted it?
Did you assume that, no matter what the state of politics in the U.S., you had your own happy life? One with ups and downs, sure, but a life with friends, family, and freedom?
If you answered "yes" to any of the above questions, you're not alone.
We've always assumed that we would have the freedom to live our lives the way we wanted. But all of a sudden, that freedom was ripped away from us.
For the first time, we couldn’t do what we wanted to do. Many people lost their jobs. Even if you didn’t lose yours, the unemployment numbers were staggering.
Grocery store shelves were bare and any travel plans you had were canceled. And the government confused us at every turn, giving us no confidence that we knew how to get through this.
This is a huge change! We've literally been thrown off balance in a way that none of us know how to cope with.
We've been pushing through these last few months, but now we're tired and scared. Now, we wonder what's next for our family and our country.
All of these events and emotions are overwhelming us to the point that we're doubting ourselves, our life choices, and our ability to accomplish anything. This is what you're feeling.
2. There's no end in sight.
It's been months into the nightmare that is COVID-19, and there's no end in sight.
In June, we all hoped that the summer months would help reduce the number of deaths. The President promised us that it would all just magically disappear.
Masks became the fashion statement du jour and social distancing was encouraged. And yet, people continued to fall ill.
People were told that COVID was a hoax and didn’t follow protocols that might have saved lives. Schools are re-opening and children and teachers are getting sick. And there's no vaccine in sight.
Who can blame you for feeling hopeless, helpless, and out of control of your life, especially when you know your health is being threatened by non-believers?
You feel like you have no control over anything, so it’s really hard to feel like you have control over yourself. And that lack of control shows up as self-doubt and anxiety.
3. Winter is coming.
In many parts of the U.S., winter isn’t a big deal. But for those who do deal with long, cold winters, they know — and dread — what's ahead.
Cold winters mean moving indoors. Outdoor dining and social events are going to evaporate. Colds and flu will run rampant, creating a fear that with every sniffle or fever, someone has COVID-19.
It’s dark and cold, and the outside experiences that got everyone through these last few months are going to be few and far between.
And who knows what's going to happen over the holidays? The holidays are often the only bright spot before the long days of January, when we see family and visit warm places.
Just the thought of it makes me sad.
Even in the best of times, winter’s approach can be daunting. Right now, as we all struggle with this ongoing pandemic, it seems almost unbearable.
4. Politics.
After six months of publicly denying it (and privately confirming how dangerous it was), the President of the United States was diagnosed with COVID-19 — and the world upended.
We have had four years of vitriol, hate, and public displays that have dispirited us all.
The Kavanaugh hearings raised, again, the ugly specter of sexual abuse. Ruth Bader Ginsberg died suddenly, creating a constitutional crisis around the Supreme Court.
Putin put a bounty on U.S. soldiers' heads — and the administration did nothing about it. A foreign leader was encouraged to influence the presidential campaign.
Families have been torn apart trying to come into our country. Science has been denied.
The world is on fire, and this is just a very small portion of what we've been dealing with.
If you are feeling off-kilter and like your life is falling apart, know that even the strongest, most self-confident person is really struggling right now.
5. We've had too much of a usually-good thing.
What do we not have just enough of, but so wished we did? The thing that's passing before our eyes: time.
We've always wanted more time. And now we have it. Lots and lots of time to sit around our homes, trying to stay busy, and a little bit bored, some days. Lots and lots of time.
For many people, the extra time has been a good thing. Some couples have grown closer, because their busy lives no longer keep them apart. Families have done things together that they hadn’t done in years.
A lot of yummy bread and chocolate-chip cookies have also been made and devoured. We have had the time that we've never had before, and it's been good.
The downside to all of that time, however, is that it allows our minds to run wild.
The time that you used to spend riding the subway, or going to the movies, or having long, boozy dinners with friends is now time often spent in our heads.
Instead of running around, keeping ourselves busy, as is human nature, we are left alone with our thoughts. The worst thing about our thoughts is that, more often than not, they only run negative tapes.
I do have some good memories that I like to play over in my head, but more often than not, I'm thinking about that stupid thing I said in third grade, how I never appreciated one gift that my ex-husband gave me, or how my depression affected my children.
And what do those negative thoughts do? They make me doubt myself, my abilities, and my future in every way.
So, while more time has been a gift, recognize that that gift can also bring us to a place of self-doubt that might not exist if we weren’t spending so much idle time alone with our thoughts.
It's not your fault if you feel like life is falling apart.
If you're one of many who feel like your life is falling apart after seven months of COVID, know that while it feels like it’s all about you and your weaknesses, it’s not!
The world around us feels like it is crashing and burning, and even the most resilient of us are struggling to make it through.
As you are struggling, try to keep in mind that you are not a person who is weak or worthless, or someone who hasn’t lived up to your own expectations.
Instead, take stock of the person you are in the world, the people who love you, the good things that you have done, the things that you know you have to offer the world.
You might not be able to make a big change right now, but it’s OK. Someday, this will all be behind us.
Life will go on, and you will get your stability back. And when you do — watch out world!
Mitzi Bockmann is an NYC-based, certified life and love coach. Let her help you find, and keep, love in this crazy world in which we live. Email her at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com and get started!