7 Behaviors That Reveal A Man Isn't A Good Person, No Matter How Sweet He Seems
Spencer Russell | Unsplash Charisma can be intoxicating. It draws you in, makes you laugh, and can leave you feeling like you've met someone truly special. However, it's important to remember that charisma and character aren't the same thing. Some of the sweetest people are also the most skilled at hiding who they really are.
The good news is that no act is perfect forever. If you know what to look for, the cracks will eventually show. These are the behaviors that reveal someone's true nature, no matter how smooth they seem on the surface.
Here are 7 behaviors that reveal a man isn't a good person, no matter how sweet he seems:
1. He always chooses his friends over you
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Some of you might say, “If you love him, you won’t make him choose,” but if he would rather be with his friends than be with you on your birthday, you've got a big problem. If he would rather go out and have fun with his friends than spend Valentine’s Day with you, you've got a big problem. See what I mean?
Research across 43 studies found that a partner's commitment to you is one of the top predictors of relationship quality, so when he consistently picks his buddies over you on days that matter, he's telling you exactly where you stand.
2. He refuses to compromise
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They say a relationship is full of compromises. But, when he decides to not go on a date with you or just simply hang out because you miss him and you have tried everything you can just so he can agree but still won't, what use is it?
Research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that when a partner is unwilling to meet your needs, it leads to lower relationship satisfaction and reduced commitment over time. A relationship without mutual effort isn't a partnership at all, and no amount of trying on your end can make up for someone who simply refuses to show up.
3. He always makes it about him
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It’s always what he wants, what he needs, and never really cared to listen to you because you are apparently not a priority. When will you be a priority?
You try to understand him but he doesn’t even try to understand you. He clearly cares more about himself and his own happiness more than you.
4. He doesn’t make an effort to see you
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He says he misses you, but doesn’t even make an effort to see you. You’re the one who’s always making plans. You’re the one who’s adjusting and rearranging your schedule to make time for him. You make time to see him even on a busy day, and what does he do? Nothing.
According to the investment model of relationships developed by psychologist Caryl Rusbult, true commitment shows up through the investment of real resources like time and effort, not just words. Findings also confirm that when effort in a relationship isn't mutual or reciprocal, it creates uncertainty and dissatisfaction for the partner who's doing all the heavy lifting.
5. He doesn't want to fix anything
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Fights are normal in relationships, but what isn’t normal is not solving what caused the fight. Instead, he would try to do more harm than good. He would not try to fix things because it does not benefit him.
John Gottman's decades of research on couples found that refusing to engage during conflict and shutting down instead of working toward resolution is one of the most destructive relationship behaviors, predicting divorce with startling accuracy. A healthy partner wants to repair the damage after a disagreement, but someone who consistently withdraws or refuses to work through problems is signaling that your feelings and the relationship itself simply aren't worth the effort.
6. He is unpredictable
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You start to get scared when bringing up problems. You start to choose your words very carefully because one slip can cause a big argument. You kindly approach him and just talk about what’s bothering you, but he starts yelling at you, causing more problems, leading to more fights. To avoid all that, you just shut your mouth.
7. He acts like he’s single
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He stops sharing photos of you or you both, claims he didn’t get the tag request on Facebook, and deletes photos of you both on his social media accounts. He starts chatting up girls, setting up dates, and watching movies with them. He makes time for all his cheating, but he doesn’t make time for you.
Research published in 2016 found that posting an inaccurate relationship status and private messaging were among the most consistently reported social media behaviors linked to infidelity. When a partner suddenly starts hiding their online activity or scrubbing your presence from their profiles, it's not paranoia to notice — it's pattern recognition.
Jan Noelle Ang is a freelance writer, licensed pharmacist, and dancer.
