People Who Are Mentally & Emotionally Incapable Of Commitment Usually Say 9 Phrases In Casual Conversation
Wirestock | Canva They're not committing to you and they have about one billion reasons why. Some of these reasons may be valid, but they also refuse to do the work to get past those commitment issues.
It’s like you’re in a holding pattern: the train never moves forward. With all of their hesitancy, you wonder how to know if they're ready to commit and where you stand with them. One thing that must be true: they don’t love you if they utter any of these phrases, which are all major relationship red flags.
People who are mentally and emotionally incapable of commitment say 9 phrases in casual conversation:
1. 'I’m not ready'
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This is an oldie but goodie... not. They'll say they're not ready and, by chance, they may not be. They may be traumatized from a breakup or divorce and not be able to give themselves away, but this isn’t the case each time.
2. 'I want to play the field still and date around'
Okay, keep those options open. They'll tell you they want to date around, but it also means that you aren’t the one for them... at least not right now. Maybe they'll realize how special you are, or maybe not.
How do you deal? You go out there and date others and if seeing them is too hard, you release them to the world and see if they come back. In the meantime, you keep hunting for someone who wants you as much as you want them. Yes, you can do that.
3. 'I can’t make any promises'
Sure, they like you so they don’t want you to go anywhere, but they don’t love you enough to commit and settle down. So, they'll see you and spend time with you but they won’t commit because they don’t want to make a promise that they can’t keep. You deserve better.
4. 'I still want to see what is out there and check out my options'
If they prattle on about how they're not ready to settle down because they'll lose options and they're not ready to do that, it’s sucky, but they're honest. So, in a way, they're doing the right thing by not promising you something they won’t stick to. On the other hand, they're playing you. Drop them and see if they roll on their back.
5. 'I don’t see a future with you'
So, they're a nice person and is good to you, but they're not signing themselves up to be with you. Why? They don’t see a future with you. If they don’t see a future with you, they don’t love you and they're not worth another breath or second of your time.
6. 'It’s me, not you”
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It may very well be them. Their past relationship issues. Their trauma. Their fear of hurt. Their life, college or job, or family commitments. Sure, there may be reasons that they can’t commit. But when they say "It’s me," they're also saying, “It’s not you... the one I love.”
Let them take their excuses and go. If they figure out their issues and decide that you’re a “me” they'd like to be with, great! But otherwise, keep on walking.
7. 'I just need space'
Alright, let’s assess. Some space may be what they need to think about what they want and it’s not always a cop-out. Don’t write them off yet, but if they're constantly asking for space it’s because they don’t want to commit to you and don’t love you.
Or, they've got major issues. If they have issues, let them work on those. You can’t fix them.
8. 'I’m not over my ex'
Eye roll. This is a major excuse that you aren’t the one. And if they're sitting there crying over their ex, nobody will be the one. They're too busy drowning in their misery to enjoy their life.
9. 'I just need time'
If they just met you recently and is slow to start up, that’s okay. They're worth being patient for. However, if it’s been years and they are quietly driving away while giving this little excuse, cut it off.
Don’t be one of those people who date someone for ten years waiting for an engagement, never to be asked. They don’t love you or they're a chronic bachelor/bachelorette.
Alex Alexander is a pseudonym for a writer who chose to not have their identity disclosed. The author is known to the YourTango editors.
