22 Weirdly Vague Phrases Men Say All The Time And What They Really Mean
Some men don't have the courage to really say what's on their mind.
Mehrab Zahedbeigi | Unsplash Believe it or not, men are very simple creatures, as is their communication style. What they say is pretty close to what they mean.
What they say may be weirdly vague to us because women are more contextual and emotional in our thought processes. This is why it’s inevitable for women to try to find meaning in a man’s lightest utterance, especially when you're trying to tell if a guy likes you.
A lot of men say things in a way to try to get their point across without getting our feelings hurt or causing drama or an emotional scene. Here’s a little guide for some of the basic things that men say and what they mean.
Here are 22 weirdly vague phrases men say all the time and what they really mean:
1. 'I’m not really looking for a relationship right now'
Translation: “I’m being honest. I don’t want a relationship with you. I’m not making any promises about us having a future together, but we can still hook up.”
Hint: When he says he says he doesn’t want a relationship, he means it. This is not a challenge for you to try to change his mind about it. He has already decided he doesn’t want to have something serious with you.
2. 'I’m okay'
simona pilolla 2 / Shutterstock
Translation: “I’m not okay, but just let me be. I’d prefer to deal with this on my own. Please stop asking me what’s wrong, because the more times you ask that question, the less okay I feel.”
Hint: Men tend to work on things internally. When he says he is okay, give him space and stop questioning him. If you don’t let him be, he will distance himself and pull away further.
3. 'I like you, but ...'
Translation: “You’re smart, funny, and attractive, I like you, but I don’t see myself being with you. Can we be physical, though?”
Hint: When a man wants to be with someone, he will be with that person without hesitation. When he uses buts and excuses, he is trying to tell you not to get your hopes up.
4. 'I don’t want to ruin our friendship'
Translation: “I’ve never thought about dating you, and I don’t like you enough to change my mind. I am not physically attracted to you in that way. But you are my friend, and I don’t want to hurt your feelings.”
Hint: Men are intimate creatures, and if he doesn’t feel attracted to you, then don’t waste your time trying to escape the friend zone.
5. 'I’ve been busy'
Translation: “I am not interested in you to make time to see you or make plans with you”.
Hint: We all are busy, but when we care about something, we will always make time for what we want to do and for whom we want to see.
6. 'I'm not sure where our relationship is going; I need time to think'
Translation: “I am having doubts about you, I don’t think you are the right woman for me. I need time to decide how I am going to break up with you.”
7. 'I don’t post who I date on social media'
Translation: “Sure, we have fun together and I like spending time with you, but I am still testing the waters and fishing around, I don’t want other women to think I am taken and ruin my chances to be with other women."
8. 'I don’t want to hurt your feelings'
Translation: “I don’t want you to get attached to me or have feelings for me when I don’t feel the same way about you.”
One study on emotion repression suggested that it could be a genuine attempt to be kind, or it might be a way to deflect from a difficult or uncomfortable truth. It's important to consider the context and his typical communication style to understand the nuance of his statement.
9. 'Okay, I’m sorry'
Translation: “I’m tired of arguing, okay, you win.”
Men, in general, may have a higher threshold for what they consider offensive behavior and might be less attuned to the emotional nuances that can bother their partners. Research has indicated that their apology might be offered without fully grasping the extent of the other person's hurt.
10. 'I love you'
Translation (after being intimate): “Wow, you just blew my mind, this was one of the best experiences I’ve ever had. I look forward to getting with you again.”
Translation (any other time): “Wow, I like you, you are an amazing woman, and I don’t want to be with anyone else, I think you are the one.”
11. 'We should hang out sometime'
Translation: “I am attracted to you, I want to take you out on a date.”
Some researchers suggest that men may use vague language like this to test the waters of social connection, possiblyto findg a mate or forming friendships. The phrase can be influenced by social norms surrounding politeness and avoiding direct rejection, especially in early stages of interaction.
12. 'I don’t do relationships'
Translation: “I want to keep my options open in case someone better comes along, but I want to keep being intimate with you. But also don’t go anywhere because I like to have you around as my backup plan.”
13. 'I don’t care either way'
Translation: “Will you make up your mind already? I don’t have an opinion about this anyway. Whatever you choose is fine with me. And the quicker you decide, the better.”
14. 'Nice jeans'
Translation: “Your butt looks amazing.”
In some social contexts, particularly dating scenarios, compliments on appearance can be a way for men to signal their interest and availability. This is supported by research showing men use more metaphorical compliments on appearance in dating than in working environments.
While this kind of compliment might sometimes be a genuine remark about the clothing, it is also frequently used as a subtle social signal to express interest, initiate interaction, or simply be polite and appreciated. Experts suggest paying attention to the surrounding cues and the man's overall behavior to better understand his intentions.
15. 'You deserve better'
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Translation: “You are a great woman, but I can’t give you what you want and need, please move on."
When a man says this, it can signify a few things, often indicating that he doesn't believe he's the right person for you, either because of his issues or because he genuinely believes you could find a more fulfilling relationship. Research argues that it's not always a compliment, and sometimes it's a way to avoid responsibility or soften the blow of a breakup.
16. 'I miss you'
Translation (if you have been dating for a while): “I miss spending time with you”.
Translation (if you are not in a serious relationship but have hooked up a few times): “I want to be intimate with you again.”
17. 'We will see'
Translation: “You’re not getting the hint, and I am trying to find ways to avoid making plans with you so I don’t hurt your feelings with rejection.”
18. 'Who's that guy?'
Translation: “I am feeling jealous right now, who is this dude, do you like him? Have you slept with him? Do you want to sleep with him?
19. 'I was kidding'
Translation: “I meant what I said, I didn’t think you would overreact and act crazy on me. Can you just calm down? “
Research stresses the importance of differentiating between humor that strengthens relationships and humor used to demean, insult, or abuse others. Weaponized joking can be a form of emotional abuse where hurtful remarks are disguised as jokes.
20. 'It’s not you, it’s me'
Translation: “It’s you, but I won’t tell you that because I don’t want you to go crazy on me or start crying.”
This often indicates he's ending the relationship but trying to soften the blow and avoid placing blame on the other person. One study found that this phrase is a way to communicate that the reason for the breakup is not the other person's fault, but rather a personal issue or incompatibility on his part.
21. 'I want to be with you'
Translation: “I want to be with you.”
Research suggests that men, like women, seek emotional closeness and connection in relationships, and this desire can be a strong motivator for wanting to be with someone. Open and honest communication is crucial for both parties to understand each other's needs and expectations.
22. 'I have too much going on in my life right now'
Translation: “Yes, I am trying to figure out my life right now, but you’re not a priority. And I don’t like you enough to arrange things to be with you.”
Next time you find yourself scratching your head trying to figure out what he means, use this as your online bible to translate the most common things that men say and what they likely mean.
However, if you are constantly trying to figure out how a man feels about you, then deep down inside, you know, this is not the right man for you.
Mitzi Hernandez is a freelance writer whose work has been published in El Sol de México, Thought Catalog, Unwritten, El Heraldo de Chihuahua, El Sol de Zacatecas, and more.
