Moms Who Raise Quietly Confident Daughters Do 8 Things Differently
Women who have the skills to love and heal themselves don't need anyone to boost them up.
Stock Rocket | Shutterstock Think about where you learned to love yourself. What role models did you have growing up? If you are like most of us, you didn’t have a mom who looked in the mirror and loved who she was, inside and out. Fortunately, moms today can do it differently and model true confidence for their daughters.
We teach our daughters by being role models for them, and yet many women never had an ideal one, therefore making it quite difficult until now. If we look to what moms who have successfully raised healthy, confident daughters have done, we can learn how to do this for our own girls.
Eight things moms who raise confident daughters do regularly:
1. Choose to be a role model for their daughter
No longer does the old motto, “do as I say, not as I do,” work for today's generation. It’s all about matching and mirroring our behaviors as to what is acceptable.
Moms, you need to learn to F.L.Y., First Love Yourself, as you are right now. Not when you lose ten pounds or get a facelift. Start with being grateful for all you do have and not what you don't. Watch your self-esteem improve, and your daughters will follow suit.
2. They model healthy living, not diets or self-loathing
While most women know they need to model confidence, "concerns about weight and appearance are easily transferred from one generation to the next. As women age, they tend to adopt eating, weight-control, and appearance-enhancing behaviors similar to those modeled by their mothers," explains a research study done in the Canadian Journal of Dietetic Practice and Research.
It was no wonder that many of us grew up feeling insecure with low self-esteem and poor body image, thinking we were never skinny enough, pretty enough, or good enough.
3. They talk themselves up
Look in the mirror every day with enthusiasm and tell yourself 50 things that are extraordinary about you when you show up at your personal best. Have your daughter do her own 50 and recite them together daily.
It takes 20 positive statements to counteract even one negative. Give yourself a head start for the day. You will both start feeling more empowered within a short period of time.
4. They cut back on media of all sorts
Trashy magazines and pop culture that tell you how you should look need to go. You are already perfect. It’s when we compare ourselves to the 2% of the population that looks different that we question our self-worth.
Kick the bad influences out of your life as soon as possible.
5. They tell her how amazing she is daily
Girls need to know you love them all the time! Tell your daughter how wonderful she is whenever you have the opportunity. Encourage her, be her raving fan, and show appreciation for her gifts of humor, courage, ingenuity, curiosity, and intelligence as she expresses herself.
Take the focus off physical attributes.
6. They take imperfect action
Perfect doesn't exist. Who’s to say what is “perfect” and what isn’t anyway? Instead, just take imperfect action often and celebrate the activity — not the result.
7. They do their best in all they do but forgive themselves for mistakes
Celebrate the journey in life and not the destination. Our worlds are not black or white, but a rainbow of colors, and living in that beautiful place gives one freedom to experiment, enjoy, rejoice, have fun, and grow.
With this philosophy, you can foster creativity, ingenuity, and excitement for yourself and your daughter.
8. They are a sturdy foundation built with love
There is no greater gift than a loving mom. One that is there to support you, cheer you on, and be by your side. Love yourself and your daughter, and know there will be trials and tribulations. Over time, the best gift we can give anyone is an ear to listen to and a shoulder to cry on, and a hand to lift you.
Be all of those things and more, let your daughter grow and find her voice. Praise her and encourage her to figure things out and be there if she needs you.
There will be a time when you won’t be able to mend all her wounds. Give her the skills to heal herself along her journey.
Lisa Lieberman-Wang is a relationship expert and author, and has been seen by millions on ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, and CW as their Success Strategist, Relationship, & Breakthrough Expert. She’s spoken on some of the most prestigious stages, including Harvard University, the Navy, Women Leading the Future, and more.
