11 Lessons Brilliant Parents Teach Their Daughters Before It’s Too Late
The best way to raise a strong and resilient daughter.
Claudia K | Shutterstock There are important lessons brilliant people teach their daughters before it's too late. If the goal is to raise strong and resilient young women, the smartest parents are well-prepared to instill these must-know lessons before their daughters leave the nest. This ensures that their daughters are confident in themselves and make the necessary decisions to keep their lives on track.
That said, knowing what lessons to focus on is far from easy. Most parents know there are countless parenting books with contradictory 'must-have lessons.' However, teaching these life lessons is essential to raising strong daughters.
11 lessons that brilliant parents teach their daughters before it's too late:
1. You don't have to be liked to be worthy
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The first lesson brilliant parents teach their daughters before it's too late is that they never have to be liked to feel worthy. It's hard to feel worthy these days. In a world that demands so much from young girls, it's becoming increasingly difficult to feel adequate. They may not look like Madison Beer or be as smart as Natalie Portman. So, why should they feel worthy when others around them don't see them that way?
It's hard, but a brilliant lesson parents continuously instill is that the opinion of others has no bearing on how they should view themselves. Now, is this easier said than done? Of course, but teaching girls at a young age to be confident within themselves is a great place to start.
According to the National Poll on Children's Health, encouraging independence fosters confidence, resilience, and mental health. So, even if it feels impossible, keep encouraging their uniqueness, independence, and confidence. Eventually, daughters will internalize those lessons, making them feel worthy despite what others say about them.
2. Boundaries aren't rude — they're necessary
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Young women are often taught that setting boundaries is considered rude. If they ask for higher pay, refuse to tolerate disrespect, and maintain standards, somehow this makes them completely unlikable. However, these thoughts often stem from a place of misogyny, where some men encourage women to lower their standards in order to take advantage of them.
This is why brilliant parents teach their daughters the critical lesson that having boundaries doesn't make them rude — instead, boundaries are necessary. They often say that 'kind' women rarely make history, and there is some truth to that. Women who are too people-pleasing frequently abandon their desires and dreams to make those around them happy. As most can imagine, this is a recipe for disaster.
As pediatrician Whitney Casares, M.D., MPH, explained, "People who don't have strong boundaries often believe others' needs are more important than their own." So, parents, be sure to teach daughters that having high standards is good and that speaking up matters. And if parents are wondering where they should start, look no further than themselves. Brilliant parents raise daughters who don't cave under pressure by setting the example and creating a safe space.
3. Trust your gut — it's usually right
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Recently, there have been multiple stories of women betraying their best friends out of jealousy. Influencers like Valerie Marquez felt something was off but dismissed her intuition in favor of trusting her friends. Unfortunately, not trusting her gut led to her passing, as everyone is now turning to social media to express their thoughts and sympathies.
However, moments like these are nothing new. Both men and women have felt the sting of betrayal before. This is why a lesson that brilliant parents teach their daughters before it's too late is to always follow their intuition. While those around them might call her dramatic, daughters should be reminded that their intuition never lies.
As research psychologist Paul T. P. Wong, Ph.D., explained, "Intuition has always been critical to human survival and success. It is a survival skill evolved from primitive survival instincts." Despite this, it's becoming increasingly difficult for people to do so, as most people's confidence in themselves is at an all-time low.
So, parents with daughters should never forget to instill confidence within them. Remind them that trusting themselves is important. Not only will this make them effective leaders within their own lives, but it'll also keep them safe.
4. Resting isn't the same as slacking
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How many women feel burned out? The average woman likely experiences this a few times a week. It's unfortunate, but many women were taught that to be productive and useful, they had to work themselves to the core. From cooking, cleaning, working 40 hours a week, and planning everything, the amount of load women carry is unimaginable.
This is why a lesson brilliant parents teach their daughters before it's too late is that rest isn't the same as slacking. It might sound simple, but many women have perfectionist issues. According to licensed clinical psychologist Shannon Sauer-Zavala, Ph.D., "Perfectionism stems from the pressure to be a 'good girl' who never fails or disappoints others." She continued, "It holds women back by creating fear of failure, overcommitment, and constant self-doubt."
Despite this, parents do their best to show their daughters that everything needs balance, including rest and work schedules. As a result, these daughters grow up defying the odds as they put themselves first and never allow anyone to take advantage of their energy.
5. Love isn't something you earn by being perfect
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Many women have come across this idea far too often: that to be truly loved or to find a partner, they must make themselves as appealing as possible. From expensive beauty products to learning how to 'be more feminine,' women are bombarded with too many rules that teach them that they're only lovable when they've worked hard enough.
This is why brilliant parents teach their daughters the lesson that they don't have to earn love by being perfect and desirable. Love isn't easy, but experiencing too much pain is a huge sign that something is very wrong. Partnership is about being equal, in which both parties cater to one another's needs.
According to licensed marriage and family therapist Jason Whiting, Ph.D., "When partners consistently make an effort to be fair across all dimensions of the relationship, relationships thrive." Luckily, brilliant parents know this, so they never teach their daughters that their love is meant to be earned. Instead, parents are affectionate with their children, not only when they succeed but also when they fail.
6. You're allowed to walk away from what hurts
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Too many women have fallen into the trap of believing that to keep everyone else happy, they must sacrifice themselves. It doesn't matter if they're miserable and hurt; as long as those around them are content, that should be enough, right? However, there's only so much 'faking it until you make it' before women lose their cool.
Luckily, brilliant parents teach their daughters the lesson that they can always choose to walk away from what hurts them. It might sound scandalous, but sometimes, leaving is the best thing women can do for themselves. Whether it's going for a low-paying job, a relationship, or a friendship, it's vital that people put their mental health first.
As neuropsychologist Diane Roberts Stoler, Ed.D., explained, "Mental health impacts how we think, feel, and behave. It plays a role in connecting with others, making decisions, handling stress, and many other aspects of daily life." Now, is this easy? No, but the best thing about brilliant parents is that they're always there for their daughters. Parents stick around despite how painful it is to leave what hurts, making the pain a bit more bearable.
7. You're enough — right now, as you are
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People may not say it to women directly, but almost all women feel as if they aren't good enough. It's unfortunate, but growing up with impossible standards tends to create that feeling. That said, brilliant parents do their best to combat this because a valuable lesson they teach their daughters before it's too late is that they're enough, right now, just as they are.
Now, do these daughters still struggle with their fair share of insecurity? Of course they do. According to a study in 2023, women tend to be less confident than men. However, just because this is the statistic doesn't mean parents should give up.
If parents' goal is to raise resilient and brilliant daughters, being there for them during those moments of doubt is especially important. However, if parents truly want to go the extra mile, they should cheer them on for their hard work, not just their results. This ensures that even when they undoubtedly fail, they still feel worthy.
8. Your voice matters — use it
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Most women have encountered the frustrating experience of a man interrupting them at least once or twice in their lives. While he may not have intended to be rude, this does not alter the reality that many women often feel as though their voices are overlooked. This is why brilliant parents teach their daughters the lesson that their voice does matter before it's too late.
Society might actively choose to shut their daughter down; however, how they bounce back up depends on the parents and the parents alone. As it stands, parents have a huge influence on how their child turns out. So, if the goal is for parents to raise resilient daughters, preparing them for these moments and listening to them is the way to go.
According to parent coach and psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein, Ph.D., "When children feel heard, they feel valued, and their self-esteem is boosted. Listening to children helps to foster open and honest communication, which can lead to more positive relationships and a deeper understanding of their perspectives."
Now, will parents always get things right? No, after all, they're human and as a result, are bound to make mistakes. But as long as they do their best to stay consistent with lending an ear, daughters will grow into women who voice their opinions, regardless of who listens.
9. Confidence makes you beautiful
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Every time someone goes on social media, there's also one video in which a beautiful woman is hyping herself up. Maybe she said, "Wow, I'm so stunning," or she never said she was ugly and didn't act insecure. Either way, people in the comments blow a fuse, as seeing a confident woman tends to trigger the masses.
However, just because other people are intimidated by a woman's confidence doesn't mean she should remain silent. On the contrary, brilliant parents teach their daughters the lesson that a confident woman is what makes a beautiful one.
Parents might be unable to control how others react to their daughter's confidence, but they can raise a daughter who's so secure within herself that other people's opinions don't matter. Rather than focus on looks or what she has on, brilliant parents teach their daughters to value their intelligence and outspokenness, highlighting just how beautiful both traits truly are.
10. Don't give up your dreams for anyone
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It's unfortunate, but nowadays, it seems women are completely abandoning their dreams of going to school, traveling, starting businesses, or moving to satisfy those around them. With rose-colored glasses, these women are more than willing to throw away their years' worth of planning once someone voices a different opinion.
This is why brilliant parents teach their daughters the lesson that they should never give up on their dreams. Now, accomplishing those dreams isn't an easy feat. Whether they're in college or working full time, climbing up the ladder isn't meant to be smooth sailing.
That being said, life will almost always come with its share of difficulties; however, the difficulties daughters choose are for them and them alone. Do they sacrifice their dreams because they weren't taught the importance of them? Or, do they stay strong and say 'no' to those who try to get in the way of their dreams? How parents raise their daughters will determine the outcome of that.
11. 'No' is a complete sentence
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Finally, the last lesson brilliant parents teach their daughters before it's too late is that saying 'no' is a complete sentence. Many women often feel pressured to cater to other people's needs. Whether their parents intentionally taught them this or not, most women have it ingrained in them that to disappoint others was the gravest sin anyone could commit.
This is probably why some women have difficulty saying no and readily agree to everyone without a second thought. On the flip side, daughters raised by brilliant parents have the confidence, wisdom, and competency necessary to put their foot down.
Even if it's intimidating, these daughters don't waver under pressure. Instead, they reaffirm their stance and refuse to back down, even if it makes those around them uncomfortable.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
