Wives Who Radiate Unhappiness Without Saying A Single Word Often Do These 6 Subtle Things
You don't need to hear hear speak to know she's struggling.
Joshua Rawson-Harris | Unsplash I can't tell you how many unhappy husbands I've seen. They talk about all kinds of issues — from infidelity to troubles with the in-laws and everything in between. But at the center is the unhappiness that their wives radiate from their every action.
Despite the variety of possible marriage problems, some things unhappy wives do are so prevalent that they reveal how bad the situation is, with no words needing to be spoken. These are the relationship stumbling blocks that trip up the hope for marital bliss.
Wives who radiate unhappiness without saying a single word often do these 8 subtle things:
1. She seems grumpy all the time
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When she speaks to her husband, her tone is full of negativity, contempt, and criticism. If he tries to express a concern or complaint about the marriage, she becomes angry and defensive, throwing the blame back at him instead of listening to him.
Relationship coach Laura Blundo explained, "When we’re trying to communicate, it’s typically to resolve an issue. Let me ask you. When was the last time someone yelled at you and you came away feeling loved, motivated, and wanting to change? You probably don't. Remember that your goal is to understand and then to be understood. Hopefully, with that, a change will come about."
2. She constantly micro-manages
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When her husband has a free moment, she pounces on him and orders him to fix something around the house. If he goes out with friends, she texts him incessantly, asking when he'll be home. She's a matrimonial version of the micro-managing boss.
"No man will stand for you talking to him or treating him like a child. Learning how to identify this behavior in your relationship history is key to putting an end to it once and for all. Does that mean you do not get to share what you're thinking and feeling with him? But it does mean you need to learn how to communicate from a place of wholeness," advises relationship coach Anita Charlot.
3. She shuts down his advances
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If he flashes her a flirtatious wink, she'll roll her eyes. If he reaches for his wife, she'll turn her back on him. On those rare occasions she does want to be intimate, she lies there and stares at the ceiling, waiting for it to be over.
A lack of intimacy can destroy a marriage, and according to divorce statistics, it is a big reason for people ending their marriages. "The most frequently given motives [for divorce] were lack of love/intimacy, communication problems, lack of sympathy/respect/trust, and growing apart."
4. She stops caring about herself
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Whether she's stopped exercising or started wearing nothing but sweatpants, she's let herself go and has lost her energy and enthusiasm for life. To be honest, this isn't a top complaint I hear from men. However, a woman who feels unattractive often withdraws emotionally and physically from her marriage. And that is something husbands do complain about.
5. She's not thankful
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Whether her husband has put in major overtime at work or spent his entire long weekend building that backyard deck she wants, she takes his efforts for granted and fails to show appreciation for anything he does for her or the family.
It is no big surprise that gratitude promotes good relationship maintenance and strengthens the intimate bond between couples, as a series of studies in Personality and Social Psychology showed how appreciation enhances responsiveness and commitment in romantic relationships.
6. She doesn't have her own 'thing'
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She doesn't have any interests or hobbies outside the marriage or home (no, Facebook isn't a hobby). That makes her a predictable and bland company, which rarely seems to have anything interesting to add to a conversation.
If you're worried that the passion in your marriage is starting to subside, don't panic. Instead, take a good, hard look at your answers to these four questions:
- How can you bring more positivity and romance into your marriage?
- How can you make your husband feel more appreciated and desired?
- How can you build him up as a loving, competent parent?
- How can you make him happy?
Believe it or not, working toward making your husband happy is the surest way to motivate him to make you happy. Like attracts like. Loving, appreciative behavior attracts loving, appreciative behavior. Positivity and enthusiasm attract positivity and enthusiasm.
Fun and affection attract fun and affection. Sometimes, it is that simple. Of course, it takes two to tango, and men need to do their part, too.
That said, nothing is stopping you from taking the lead and doing what you can to make your marriage a happier, better, and stronger one starting today.
Debra Macleod, B.A., LL.B., is an author and conflict specialist who offers a fast, focused, and no-nonsense alternative to couples counseling and ineffective marriage coaching systems.
