What's It Actually Like To Be In A Swinger Lifestyle

For some, swinging might be a healthier alternative to monogamy.

Last updated on Apr 27, 2024

Empowered swinger wife, sitting confidently in a swinger bar Jannet Trofimova, Jacob Lund | Canva
Advertisement

Years ago, the best friend of Kate Middleton announced the opening of a swingers club in Scotland after leading one in London called Killing Kittens. According to the club in Scotland, no man can enter the club — he can be brought only by one or more women.

Moreover, women make the rules in such clubs. They represent 80 percent of customers. The clientele is very selective, aged between 18 and 45 years. Killing Kittens in London claims to reject 1 of 3 applications.

Advertisement

Club attire is mandatory, and jeans are not allowed. Inside, drugs are prohibited, but clients can delight themselves with champagne. Condoms are strategically placed in all the rooms, and the atmosphere lures the most comfortable positions and outfits. After the talk and look of choosing potential partners, lovers retire in rooms where they "play," where cameras and mobile phones are completely banned.

For those who like this lifestyle, they think it is a healthier alternative than fixed online dating. 

RELATED: My Husband And I Don't Share My Girlfriend

Here's what it's like to be in a swinger lifestyle.

1. What is swinging?

Swinging is sex in a group or exchange of partners. All this is combined with a touch of exhibitionism, a gram of voyeurism, and something intriguing.

Advertisement

This phenomenon is seen as an alternative lifestyle that involves participation in recreational activities, especially sex. Some people do not approve of this type of behavior, dismissing it as abnormal. Value judgments belong to those who are swingers, though.

2. Where did swinging begin?

The beginnings of modern swing are found in the middle of the last century. Swinging as a modern practice has its origins in an elite group of pilots on fighter planes of the American Air Force during the Second World War and the Korean War. The high rate of mortality led to the acceptance of the relationship between the wives of pilots and other pilots. The phenomenon is called "wife-swapping" (changing wives).

Although reported as a negative in some media, the audience was receptive to the idea. And so, in 1960 there were over 20 magazines in the United States that had sections for swinging.

Advertisement

RELATED: 3 Surprising Reasons Why Swingers Are Happier and Healthier Than Most People

3. Is swinging an international phenomenon?

Swingers has become a real community organization and is spread all over the world. If you're in a foreign country and want to make contact with other swingers, there are handy guides with localization of clubs.

Group of swingers arrives at airport Svitlana Hulko via Shutterstock

Advertisement

For a stay, you can call an agency that offers a complete package for fun. The possibilities are countless with special accommodation for those into the swing lifestyle, plus transport companies and even aviation participating.

RELATED: The Biggest Issue With Practicing Non-Monogamy

4. What are the types of swinging?

There are three different types:

Advertisement
  • Soft swinging: They exchange partners, but couples remain in the same room. Contact is kept to touching, kissing, and other soft activities.
  • Closed swinging: They exchange partners, but the newly formed couples have sex in different rooms.
  • Open swinging: They change partners and have sex in the same room often in a group.
@4ourplay.com Interested in 🍍 cruises? Join the 4OURPLAY Group on Temptation Cruise in Feb 2023 and Bliss Cruise in Nov 2023! More info in comments 🍍💖 | #openrelationships #swingtok #swingertok #swingerslifestyle #enm #upsidedownpineapple #swingercouple #4ourplay #swingerlifestyle ♬ original sound - 4OURPLAY | Bella & Jase

5. How do you classify swinger parties?

  • Parties "off-premise": These swinger parties will have sex elsewhere.
  • Parties "on-premise": To these parties, sex is expected to take place between participants.

Swinging is an alternative to a monogamous relationship. It is a way to add spice to a relationship. However, sometimes the experience is a little too spicy for some.

RELATED: Open Marriage Is Not A Fad

Mike Hatcher is a coach and writer who offers advice for couples about open and other alternative relationships.

Advertisement