Mom Says She Has To Vent Online About Unemployed Husband’s Mess After Her 13-Hour Shift Because Family & Friends Are Biased

She works as a nurse and came home to her husband's days-old mess but people are shaming her for airing her dirty laundry.

A photograph of a messy sink filled with dishes, and a white woman speaking to the camera beside it. TikTok

Most of us are familiar with the age-old frustration of having a roommate that just doesn’t clean up their share. There can be any number of reasons as to why they fall behind on chores so much, but the end result is the same: a dirty living space, and nobody happy.

For one woman, that messy roommate isn’t just a stranger, he’s her unemployed husband.

One working mom, exhausted after a 13-hour shift, turned to “TikTok therapy” to vent about how her husband hadn’t cleaned the kitchen in two days.


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The mom works as a nurse and returned home to her husband's days-old mess before sharing it on TikTok.

“I’m gonna blow a f---ing gasket,” she told the app, furious about the state of her home after an exhausting shift. “My unemployed husband… just decided to drink 8 beers, just chilling at home by himself.”



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She showed the camera around her kitchen, revealing a sink full of dirty dishes, and counters cluttered with pots, empty Truly cans, and other waste.

The situation is understandably infuriating — after all, who wants to come home and clean after a nightmarish shift, especially when there’s someone else who could have done the work all day? 

She tagged the video with “stay at home dad” among other things and mentioned that his only responsibility was to look after their child who isn’t even home most of the day due to school. The video quickly went viral, accumulating hundreds of thousands of likes and views quickly, with comments flooding in to offer their sympathies and advice.

Many comments on the video felt that they had seen enough, and it was time for her to leave him.

“That's not your husband — that’s your roommate,” one user pointed out. “And him doing this means he doesn’t respect you.”


Many others agreed, with many comments simply reading: “divorce.” Other women drew on their own experiences with lazy husbands, saying “It’s easier to be a single mom versus being a married single mom.“

Others, however, had a different solution.

“Don’t listen to these women in the comments talking divorce from one video. Talk to him. If you love him then communicate.” Another person agreed, sharing their wisdom, and supporting her marriage: “Expectations turn into resentments. Talk to him! Be honest and vulnerable. Your marriage is worth it!”

Finally, many comments asked why she would even bring this issue to TikTok rather than to her husband, or friends. In response to all of them, this working mom made a follow-up video to hopefully answer as much as possible.


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To clarify her intentions, she explained how she intended to use TikTok for her own therapy.

“That’s actually why I joined TikTok,” she said. “I don't have a therapist, my husband struggles with mental health issues, and my family doesn't really understand it.”



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She explained that, since her family is too “old school” to understand her husband’s struggles, she doesn’t want to reach out to them for personal debates, and she doesn’t want to complain to her friends in case they start getting a biased, negative opinion of her husband.

“When you tell your best friends about these negative fights that you guys have, they end up developing a perception that can never be undone.”

With those concerns in mind, she chose TikTok as a harmless way to vent and get unbiased feedback. She clearly wasn’t looking for real advice, just wanting to throw her frustrations to the wind and feel heard.

Many commenters agreed with her strategy, with one user writing: “Sharing makes me feel like I’m not alone, makes me feel better.” However, others argue that the opinions she receives probably won’t be unbiased.


“Sadly TikTok is like your friends lol,” one user wrote. “They make up their own perception of your spouse! Some people are also very biased”. 

Still, others are praising her for her grasp on the nuanced relationships in her life and the healthy way she is responding to the feedback. TikTok can absolutely be a safe place to complain without directly damaging any existing relationships one might have, and this woman seems to understand that.

However, the feedback she gets could also be entirely useless, and she understands that she doesn’t need to take any advice from strangers if it doesn’t suit her.

Her desire to vent her frustrations doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship is unfixable. As she said it best: “Half of [the comments], I'm like, you're totally right. But I'm not divorcing my husband over it. Thanks.”


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Hawthorn Martin is a news and entertainment writer living in Texas. They focus on social justice, pop culture, and human interest stories.